Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Uni flat dishes - who is in the wrong?

195 replies

Poiuytrewql · 17/09/2024 14:05

DD is in her first year at a London Uni.

Her flatmates (and I’m sure DD) leave the sink full of dishes constantly. Not unsurprising. Student 1 made a bolognese and was going home for the weekend. The pan they washed got food bits and fat over the dishes that were left in the sink. Student 2 found this foul and printed off a note and stuck it to the door reprimanding this behaviour.

I believe my daughter is in the right but dh thinks she is not. Not sure if my bias for my child is clouding my judgement.

Who is in the wrong?

OP posts:
Crystallizedring · 17/09/2024 16:03

So did student 1 wash her dishes in a sink full of dirty dishes? I'd have left them to one side. Student 2 was annoyed because her dirty dishes were more dirty? That's just weird
Student 1 was right as they washed up but they don't sound like compatible flat mates.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 17/09/2024 16:03

I think another time or grot-saving measure would be to use a paper towel (which goes in the bin) to wipe any properly greasy plates/pans before putting them in the sink.

Anything to save a plumber's bill to unblock the sink.

Hyperbowl · 17/09/2024 16:02

WhistPie · 17/09/2024 16:00

Student 1 should get a cheap box or washing up bowl (£1.50 from Dunelm), put the unwashed crap in it, leave it on the floor and do her own washing up. Unwashed dishes stay there until there are no dishes left.

Edited

This is a great idea. You can also get collapsible washing up bowls at a bit more of a cost but they have handles to move them about and can be easily stored without taking up much space when not in use.

WhistPie · 17/09/2024 16:00

Student 1 should get a cheap box or washing up bowl (£1.50 from Dunelm), put the unwashed crap in it, leave it on the floor and do her own washing up. Unwashed dishes stay there until there are no dishes left.

Hyperbowl · 17/09/2024 15:59

Well I think if people don’t want their dirty dishes being even more dirty then they should just wash up as they go instead of expecting other people to do it for them. Presumably the dishes had been dirty for at least one mealtime prior to your DD making her food? It’s antisocial for anyone living in any sort of shared accommodation to not clean up as they make mess.

bottyjet · 17/09/2024 15:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines -previously banned poster.

fiorentina · 17/09/2024 15:56

Sorry to say but this will probably just get worse and more messy and irritating but that’s student living. Some people are cleaner and tidier than others..

AegonT · 17/09/2024 15:55

Student 1 is in the right. She washed up her pan promptly and before leaving. Student 2 should not be surprised that if she takes the sink out of full use leaving her crockery there then the crockery might get dirtier. Also it's a bit early in the term for passive aggressive notes!

Ablondiebutagoody · 17/09/2024 15:52

Ablondiebutagoody · 17/09/2024 15:46

I agree. By 18 the max difference in age between eldest and youngest in a cohort is about 5%.

[12÷(18×12)] x 100

Show quote history

At 7 it's 14%
At 4 its 25% (obviously)
At 2 its 50% (obviously)
At 1 it's 100%

I enjoyed that. Might draw a graph.

EPankhurst · 17/09/2024 15:52

Just4thisthreadtoday · 17/09/2024 15:50

Just to answer your specific question:

if the were just plates from toast & mugs/glasses, that's a different level of 'dirty' than covered in meat, tomato sauce & grease.

which is why I wouldn't leave my dishes in the sink!! (Aside from the fact it's inconsiderate )

Show quote history

Plates from toast and mugs (assuming they're not old mouldy mugs) are so quick to wash up that it really is lazy and a false economy to not give them a quick wash up when you take them to the sink.

AgnesX · 17/09/2024 15:52

I'm with your daughter on this one...along with notes to flatmates to clean their hair out of the bath and emptying their uses san-pro from the bathroom bin.

HamSad · 17/09/2024 15:51

steppemum · 17/09/2024 14:33

It doesn't matter whether your dd is student 1 or 2, or whether or not she is in the right or the wrong.

It doesn't matter because it is irrelevant, because you need to stay out of it. Leave it well alone, laugh at any attempt to drag you into the discussion.

She is 18, and needs to work this out herself

Right?! She needs to sort it out for herself and not run to mummy.

EPankhurst · 17/09/2024 15:51

Just4thisthreadtoday · 17/09/2024 15:44

@BettyBardMacDonald

NOOOOOO
Don't leave your manky dishes 'soaking' in a sinkful of water. That's REALLY disgusting.🤢 🤮

Show quote history

Are you kidding washing up is SO much easier if you've soaked them for a bit! especially if like me you tend to burn stuff on a fair bit.

"leaving them soaking" is however used an awful lot as an excuse to leave your unwashed washing up in the kitchen for too long.

Just4thisthreadtoday · 17/09/2024 15:50

EnterFunnyNameHere · 17/09/2024 15:42

But presumably the dishes left in the sink were already dirty? So what difference does it make if they got made more dirty by someone washing up over them?? I feel like I've missed something!

Just to answer your specific question:

if the were just plates from toast & mugs/glasses, that's a different level of 'dirty' than covered in meat, tomato sauce & grease.

which is why I wouldn't leave my dishes in the sink!! (Aside from the fact it's inconsiderate )

OhmygodDont · 17/09/2024 15:48

The student who didn’t wash their dishes and left a sink full is the one in the wrong. If their dishes has been washed rather than left to fester they wouldn’t have got dirtier.

Ablondiebutagoody · 17/09/2024 15:46

Didimum · 17/09/2024 15:40

I'm curious as to when parents stop using 'August baby' to infantilise their grown kids. Isn't the reasonable limit 7yrs old or something?

Show quote history

I agree. By 18 the max difference in age between eldest and youngest in a cohort is about 5%.

[12÷(18×12)] x 100

Just4thisthreadtoday · 17/09/2024 15:44

BettyBardMacDonald · 17/09/2024 15:28

I find piles of dirty dishes to be stomach churning. There is really no excuse for not washing them right away. It takes less than 10 minutes. At the very least, rinse well, fill the sink with hot water & fairy and let them soak.

Dealing with others' food prep, haphazard food storage/dirty refrigerator, food odours, dirty dishes and mingingness is one reason I sacrificed a lot of other things in order to live alone when young. Ugh.

@BettyBardMacDonald

NOOOOOO
Don't leave your manky dishes 'soaking' in a sinkful of water. That's REALLY disgusting.🤢 🤮

EnterFunnyNameHere · 17/09/2024 15:42

But presumably the dishes left in the sink were already dirty? So what difference does it make if they got made more dirty by someone washing up over them?? I feel like I've missed something!

Just4thisthreadtoday · 17/09/2024 15:41

Mojodojocasahous · 17/09/2024 15:25

Another vote for why do you care op?!

@Mojodojocasahous

This is a chat site, she's chatting. Things like this are interesting to see everyone's opinions. She doesn't necessarily 'care'. But even if she does, do what? Just scroll on by if it's no interest to you

Didimum · 17/09/2024 15:40

Poiuytrewql · 17/09/2024 14:37

I’m just curious. Dd is an August baby so only just 18. She sent the note to our family chat with a laughing emoji.

She is student 1. Her dad thinks she shouldn’t have washed pan in a sink full of dishes as he classifies it as anti social but he thinks everything is anti social.

Just curious if I was being bias cause I thought dd was fine

Edited
Show quote history

I'm curious as to when parents stop using 'August baby' to infantilise their grown kids. Isn't the reasonable limit 7yrs old or something?

Just4thisthreadtoday · 17/09/2024 15:38

TherapistInATabard · 17/09/2024 15:24

@Poiuytrewql antisocial how? What does your DH think she should have done?

@TherapistInATabard

ptesumably he thinks either a) she could have washed up all the dishes

or

b) she could have removed their belongings before washing up a bolognaise pan & covering their dishes in meat, tomato & grease.

I do see his pov, BUT if she starts off doing that. She's going to be doing all the dishes for a year!

she needs to tell S2 to get herself a washing up bowl to put her dishes in & leave the sink empty for others to use!

Rewis · 17/09/2024 15:37

If you leave your dirty dishes in the sink. Expect them to be dirty when others wash their stuff.

TheRavenSaid · 17/09/2024 15:35

they should each have a washing up bowl and put their unwashed crap in their own one.

Reugny · 17/09/2024 15:34

One thing I remember learning at uni is that dishes can grow interesting mould.

Especially ones that have had bake beans or tuna in.

BreatheAndFocus · 17/09/2024 15:33

Poiuytrewql · 17/09/2024 14:37

I’m just curious. Dd is an August baby so only just 18. She sent the note to our family chat with a laughing emoji.

She is student 1. Her dad thinks she shouldn’t have washed pan in a sink full of dishes as he classifies it as anti social but he thinks everything is anti social.

Just curious if I was being bias cause I thought dd was fine

Edited
Show quote history

So she’s in the right. She washed her dishes rather than leaving them to stink and be revolting over the weekend. The ones in the wrong are the lazy f**kers who dump their dishes in the sink. When I was at uni, they’d have been unceremoniously tipped onto the floor/balcony/garden/into the respective students’ rooms.

Antisocial is leaving dishes in the sink.