Skinny shaming is so accepted

Like a PP I'm not sure if some posters are realistic about how skinny some of us have been or are.

I am 5"6" and it took me until I was 28 to reach 7st. I did not have an ED, I didn't even really exercise, I had a healthy appetite, I was just naturally very very skinny, and very fine boned.

I was torn to shreds for years. At school in 6th year I was 5st. I was called a boy, a child, a turn off, a skeleton, not a real woman.

There were no shops where I could buy clothes, my mum luckily could sew so she took in almost all of my clothes. I recently found a bag of things I wore in 6th form and now at 8st finally in my mid 40s they mostly still fit so obviously they were hanging off me then.

I no longer think I am skinny, slim but shapeless I would say now.

At university noone was jealous of my figure I didn't have one. I was straight up and down, had a concave arse, no hips, no boobs and looked like a bag of bones.

When I started work all the women in the office, who were mostly a normal 10 or 12 were constantly on diets. They made me eat my lunch standing up in the kitchen. Not at my desk like everyone else as I was "off-putting".

I've been treated as childlike, or talked down to, not taken as seriously as other more "normal" looking women.

My 17 year old nephew is now going through the same thing, genetics! And I feel awful for him, kids have possibly found more ways to be cruel.

I know why you're confused. Because fat women will be called awful names when recovering from illness. Because fat women will have experienced mockery and laughter when getting changed. Because fat women will have been told they're putting their unborn baby at risk because of their greed and laziness and that they aren't fit to be a mother. It's dreadful, truly dreadful for those things to happen to a slim person or a fat person or any person at all.

But the fat woman who's lived through all of that probably won't feel proud and happy about her body at the end of it.

In my case insults like but not limited to -

• Skeletor
• You obviously have an eating disorder
• Skinny bitch
• You won't get a bloke as there's nothing to grab on to/you look like a boy

Oh and the time someone compared me to a famine victim  that was a particularly high moment

I don't know why the nasty twats did it but they did. And clearly a fair few posters here would have expected me to suck it up because I'm thin.

Yes, but you would not know that if you met her and she certainly would not divulge her physical health problems which is under the hospital for. She hates clubbing as her friends wear skimpy tops and feels that she has to as well and expose her bony arms and shoulders.

If in passing she mentioned on here that she hated being thin and hated the insults, would you dismiss it? Would you believe that she is actually upset? Or would you just see her as another skinny person pretending to be upset by the insults, like you seem to.

No I came on here to share my personal experience. I said 'many of which'. These are people I know, wealthy people that are lazy, greedy and incredibly critical of others appearance. From my working life, from my schooling life, other school mums, relatives. I don't think anyone should be judging another's appearance but I do think we have a real problem in this country with overweight women with low self esteem, due to their own choices in life passing on their insecurities to others and feeling untouchable because their own insecurity is their weight.

Im guessing because not all the larger people are happy with their body shape, so perhaps the wound is deeper than for someone who likes their body shape?

No one should be bullied about their weight or appearance in general. In relation to the OPs post I do not like the comment “I’m trying hard not to judge them for their eating habits and size” . If you think size is not an issue why do you have to try so hard not to judge ?
Also the comment “only fat people have a problem with skinny people”. This is a generalisation and the phrasing of it is very disrespectful using the word “fat” for a start. Sorry you have bad experiences with people you have encountered in your life. I’m sure most overweight and obese people couldn’t care less about anyone’s “skinny privilege” and are just minding their own business making their way through life .

Yes of course it's not acceptable or pleasant behaviour....but in your last few comments you have seemed quite gleeful and happy that you're thin...and even slightly smug dare i say so I'm struggling to understand your true feelings

But a size 8 and a size 10 are not particularly skinny or particularly fat....I wasn't fat at a size 10 and I doubt you looked anorexic at a size 8. The comments weren't about us, they were about them.

Right??? This thread is driving me crazy!

You are actually right and I agree that I would judge someone’s weight if they were bullying me about my size. In general I don’t think about other people’s body shape though. It is a matter for them.

Weird? I would say rude and judgemental.

People are weird...I was a size 10 and a woman called me a fat bitch in the street

But you're not actually genuinely hurt to your very core when people say things to you then? You're quite rightly pissed off at their rudeness but you're not actually deeply hurt? Be honest with us..

Here’s an example, when I was crossing an office and a woman shouted out in front of everyone “you’re too skinny, are you anorexic?” whilst pulling a face of disgust. I was a size 8 and perfectly healthy, but if I wasn’t, it would have been even more inappropriate.

If you think fat people are protected in society, you really are not paying attention to literally anything that is happening anywhere.

You're actually fat-shaming in your comment that fat people are lazy and choose to be fat - never mind that obesity and poverty are correlated or that dieting itself is one of the major predictors of weight gain (are fat people lacking in discipline when they lose multiple stones over a lifetime but, like 98% of dieters, regain the weight and more before they try again), never mind about eating disorders or trauma or any other factors that contribute to weight gain - you just want to shame fat people, and you don't see anything wrong with it because you live in a society that fat-shames so routinely it becomes invisible to a lot of people.

@Comedycook I have eaten large portions of food, a lot of it what you might call fattening, all of my life. I rarely did any exercise until recently, all in an effort to put weight on, and it has never ever worked. My body just burns it all off very quickly. My brother is the same, he eats non-stop, but even now in his early 50s he will wear two pairs of trousers to bulk out his legs a bit to look more normal. It is awful to feel ashamed of your body, whatever the issue. If either of us could just eat more and move less to gain weight, we would have done that. It doesn't work for us.

@WickedStepmotherWasJustMisunderstood why are we so focused on clothes shopping? I went off this thread and it’s still about clothes. I do not understand the constant references to clothes being such a huge baseline. I buy my functional clothes in Tescos. I bought all my size 16-18 clothes in Tescos when I was larger. I’ve always shopped in supermarkets. I still do. Most of us are not shopping in Gucci on Bond Street like catwalk models. Why are clothes the epitome of privilege? I cannot afford expensive clothes I am not privileged with money. We live in an age where the high street is dying due to fast online fashion in every shape size colour you could ever imagine. If your whole basis of skinny privilege is about clothing sizes is what is driving your emotions in this debate please be aware that not all thin women are vain, vacuous bimbos who parade themselves around in expensive tiny leggings all we do is shop all day for our skinny clothes in skinny shops. It’s so offensive and stereotypical. Thin women have privilege of other things I’m aware but the clothing argument is incredibly weak nowadays when places like Shein are killing online retailers and stocks up to size 26.

I might have a body goal to some people but perhaps someone else’s body is a body goal. I have saggy skin. I read here all the time people are afraid of getting saggy skin. So perhaps I am not all to be jealous about after all in some people’s eyes.

No one should have insults hurled at them obviously. But this post really doesn't make you seem as upset as you are claiming to be...

It sounds like she is really unusually thin though which is not the case for many of the posters on this thread, who are just slim/normal. Different situations.

I totally agree OP. My DF who has multiple health issues is often told 'you're too skinny, you should eat more' often by overweight people. Generally when said infront of people, nobody gasps, nobody calls the person out. If my friend replied with 'you're fat, you should eat less' that would be terrible of her apparently, even though the fat person started the healthy weight conversation. I see similar with my sisters husband with ginger hair, people tell her 'I can't believe your husband is ginger, aren't you worried your DC will have ginger hair ect'. It's like certain people are fair game to pick on. But fat people, many of which look the way they do through choice and laziness must be protected at all costs, even when they themselves are terrible bullies.

Ultimately, I do feel society is much more anti-fat. In terms of frequency, fat people no doubt receive more negative comments than thin people.

What people need to understand though is that on an individual basis, being insulted for being skinny can be just as hurtful/embarrassing in that moment for thin people as it is for fat people being at the end of an unacceptable insult.

I don’t know why people are struggling with this.