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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS aged 3.9 is stood on our gate …

211 replies

indurently · 17/09/2024 13:29

He’s looking at cars, tractors and so on. We live on a country road. I’m pushing his sister on a swing.

And a couple just walked by and told me he shouldn’t be on the gate.

Racking my brains somewhat as to what we have done wrong!

OP posts:
gapattachment · 17/09/2024 14:23

indurently · 17/09/2024 14:07

Three years nine months. I just included it as I could sort of see an objection if a really young child was doing it.

0.9 of a year is 10.8 months.

They were probably just trying to be helpful since you clearly weren't aware that what he was doing would damage the gate.

Serencwtch · 17/09/2024 14:18

Mine grew up on a farm same as myself & DH.

We've always had it drummed into us never to stand on gates & always check gates are closed (So they aren't damaged & raging bulls will escape and rampage all over the village or travellers will come in). So it's something I tend to notice, along with kids not closing gates. But really strange of them to say something & none of their business if it's your own garden! That's country folk for you I'm afraid!

Not standing on gates or fences & closing & checking gates are sensible things to teach rural kids though - and any kids that visit the countryside.

ItGhoul · 17/09/2024 14:16

This reply has been deleted

This is the work of a previously banned poster.

StickItInTheFamilyAlbum · 17/09/2024 14:15

Malvala · 17/09/2024 13:39

Sorry I cannot understand is stood. Is it is standing, or stood??? Is stood doesn't make any sense to me.

What would you do to make sense of this in areas where the regional variation "stood standing" is in common use? (Slightly different context as it's normally associated with the passage of time and being ignored, but even so…)

Original poster
indurently · 17/09/2024 14:09

It’s a large gate but it doesn’t lead into a field. Just the road.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 17/09/2024 14:08

Saying ‘stood’ sounds completely wrong to me, but I did understand what you meant.

Just to clarify, are we talking about a large (into a field type) gate or just a normal garden gate?

Original poster
indurently · 17/09/2024 14:07

Three years nine months. I just included it as I could sort of see an objection if a really young child was doing it.

OP posts:
ReadingSoManyThreads · 17/09/2024 14:04

YABU for stating age as 3.9 What on earth does this even mean?

Bumcake · 17/09/2024 14:04

indurently · 17/09/2024 14:00

I didn’t understand what she didn’t understand. I thought it was someone a bit dim to be totally honest 😂 Did I make a SPAG error? I didn’t even notice!

Show quote history

No, you were correct in your assessment.

Original poster
indurently · 17/09/2024 14:00

Bumcake · 17/09/2024 14:00

You’re truly not aware of regional differences in use of language? Take a wild shot in the dark and see if you can infer the meaning from the sentence.

Show quote history

I didn’t understand what she didn’t understand. I thought it was someone a bit dim to be totally honest 😂 Did I make a SPAG error? I didn’t even notice!

OP posts:
Bumcake · 17/09/2024 14:00

pikkumyy77 · 17/09/2024 13:44

Well they don’t know that do they?

They could probably have guessed. Or just walked on with their traps shut.

Flatulence · 17/09/2024 14:00

Children have swung/stood on on gates for centuries.

Yes, it can damage the hinges and/or the gate so shouldn't be done on another person's property (same for many, many things) - but it's your own gate and so long as you're happy then 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️. Don't think about it - they're obviously busybodies.

Bumcake · 17/09/2024 14:00

Malvala · 17/09/2024 13:39

Sorry I cannot understand is stood. Is it is standing, or stood??? Is stood doesn't make any sense to me.

You’re truly not aware of regional differences in use of language? Take a wild shot in the dark and see if you can infer the meaning from the sentence.

Words · 17/09/2024 13:59

Is he still standing on it, or would you say he stood on it?

Is it your gate?

Either way, if you must climb a gate, do it at the hinge end.

rumblegrumble · 17/09/2024 13:56

Have an image of him balancing precariously on the top rung like a tight-rope walker... if so, yeah you're being unreasonable. If he's actually on a lower rung and peeking over, of course that's ok and the walkers are weird.

ForeveraBluebird · 17/09/2024 13:47

I’m pretty sure they’d know whose gate it is if the op is in the garden pushing her child on their swing .

Cattery · 17/09/2024 13:45

People are mad. They need to butt the fuck out

Edited to add: standing

Original poster
indurently · 17/09/2024 13:45

They don’t know it’s our own garden gate? Who else’s would it be!?

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 17/09/2024 13:44

Well they don’t know that do they?

Original poster
indurently · 17/09/2024 13:42

I see … but yes it is our own garden gate! How strange.

OP posts:
Bergamotte · 17/09/2024 13:40

indurently · 17/09/2024 13:32

Hmm not sure what this means (being thick sorry!)

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When standing on, or climbing over, a gate you should be on the side of the gate which is attached to the fencepost. This puts less strain on the hinges than if you stand on the side which opens.

As children, my friend had a great game of swinging on her garden gate - but her mum made us stop as it was ruining the hinges of the gate.

Malvala · 17/09/2024 13:39

Sorry I cannot understand is stood. Is it is standing, or stood??? Is stood doesn't make any sense to me.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/09/2024 13:38

You mean he's standing on one of the lower bars of your own gate?

They're bonkers.

The 'hinge end' is because of leverage - if you ever have to climb a gate do near the hinges as the force on them and the bar will be much lower than if you do it further along.

StuckOnTheCeiling · 17/09/2024 13:38

You’ve done nothing wrong, it’s your gate!

I don’t let my kids play on other people’s gates, but ours is fine, if they break it it’s ours to replace. Generally they’re stronger at the side next to the hinge.

Bananapancakemaker · 17/09/2024 13:38

indurently · 17/09/2024 13:32

Hmm not sure what this means (being thick sorry!)

Show quote history

You break the gate if you stand on it too far away from the hinges. It exerts much more force on the join to the wall/fence.