Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS aged 3.9 is stood on our gate …

211 replies

indurently · 17/09/2024 13:29

He’s looking at cars, tractors and so on. We live on a country road. I’m pushing his sister on a swing.

And a couple just walked by and told me he shouldn’t be on the gate.

Racking my brains somewhat as to what we have done wrong!

OP posts:
FofB · 17/09/2024 15:02

I'm wondering if they think he will be able to unlatch it and run into the road? Maybe? Escaped toddlers can match Usain Bolt for speed.......

LostittoBostik · 17/09/2024 15:02

gapattachment · 17/09/2024 14:27

It’s just shorthand for three years nine months.

It's really not.

It's not IRL, but it certainly is here. Seen it daily.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 17/09/2024 15:01

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 17/09/2024 14:59

This thread is marvellous. And bonkers. Peak Mumsnet, that's enough for me today. I thank you all.

I agree - the people pretending that they don't understand what the OP is saying are MN at its most batshit.

OP - you are free to ignore randomers who comment on what you do with your own son and your own gate. Just remember that when you come across gates that belong to someone else, he shouldn't be allowed to stand/climb on them.

And also feel free to ignore anyone who pretends they can't understand what you're saying.

Member984815 · 17/09/2024 15:00

Your property your business , I do know a child who was seriously injured from falling off a farm gate and was in traction for a couple of months. Awkward fall . We used to stand on our garden gate and swing in and out the driveway as kids it drove dm mad but was such fun 😆 🤣

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 17/09/2024 15:00

jen337 · 17/09/2024 14:57

They might be worried about him getting out onto the road?

With his mum literally stood (hah!) right next to him?

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 17/09/2024 14:59

This thread is marvellous. And bonkers. Peak Mumsnet, that's enough for me today. I thank you all.

MummaMummaJumma · 17/09/2024 14:59

DickEmery · 17/09/2024 14:35

Good point. Was he upside down OP? Is he three and nine months or three and ten point eight months? What is stood? I have never before encountered such a word. What does it mean? What is a gate? Are you rural? We are rural. Are you sure it was your gate? Have you checked the deeds? Before you know it there will be an elderly Korean lady stood on your spiky cow rural gate and all hell will break loose. Best go back in your house OP. Take your stood child of indeterminate age with you. Don't answer the door. I mean this kindly. It's for the best.

Show quote history

“What is a gate?”

It all made me laugh.. but this part really tickled me 😂

jen337 · 17/09/2024 14:57

They might be worried about him getting out onto the road?

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 17/09/2024 14:56

HauntedbyMagpies · 17/09/2024 14:49

What on earth does any of that have to do with horses?!?!? 🤣🤦‍♀️

Show quote history

What do you think it is that stops horses escaping from fields or from stables? Some form of physical barrier perhaps... maybe one that is moveable/openable so that humans can come through it?

AffIt · 17/09/2024 14:55

I didn't grow up on a farm, but my family are of farming stock and standing / swinging on gates was absolutely verboten because HINGES ARE EXPENSIVE. 😄

Arrivederla · 17/09/2024 14:55

DickEmery · 17/09/2024 14:35

Good point. Was he upside down OP? Is he three and nine months or three and ten point eight months? What is stood? I have never before encountered such a word. What does it mean? What is a gate? Are you rural? We are rural. Are you sure it was your gate? Have you checked the deeds? Before you know it there will be an elderly Korean lady stood on your spiky cow rural gate and all hell will break loose. Best go back in your house OP. Take your stood child of indeterminate age with you. Don't answer the door. I mean this kindly. It's for the best.

Show quote history

😂😂😂

Nocheezesforusmeeses · 17/09/2024 14:55

DickEmery · 17/09/2024 14:46

The Beatles would never have cracked America if they'd written I Saw Her Stood There. And rightly so!

There you go, OP.
Don’t try and “crack America” with your mumsnet post. You’ll only be disappointed

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 17/09/2024 14:54

Flippin eck, the pedants are out in force today!

Mirabai · 17/09/2024 14:53

If they come back OP just say: my gate, my son, my choice.

Mirabai · 17/09/2024 14:52

Standing/stood, sitting/sat is a common tense error. In some cases it’s regional in others it’s just a mistake. I’ve heard Davina McCall and Jack Whitehall use it and I don’t think we can say they’re from rural Yorkshire. 🤓

angstypant · 17/09/2024 14:52

pikkumyy77 · 17/09/2024 13:44

Well they don’t know that do they?

If the OP is in some random person's garden using their swing then standing on the gate would be the least thing to comment on.

angstypant · 17/09/2024 14:51

stayathomegardener · 17/09/2024 13:37

If you stand or climb over on the end furthest away from the hinges it causes the gate to drop.

Very bad countryside etiquette.

On your own gate you can do what you want

Twinklefloss · 17/09/2024 14:51

Maybe they were complaining, knowing that you would report it as “stood” (incorrect past tense) instead of “standing” (correct)?

but more likely it is as other posters have pointed out; even if ds is light, he will be exerting force and damaging the hinge on the gate if he doesn’t stand by the hinge.

Waffle78 · 17/09/2024 14:50

Putting weight on the gate causes the gate to drop. Making it difficult to open and close. Fine if it's your own gate but he's doing it on public property.

HauntedbyMagpies · 17/09/2024 14:49

Leafcutterantsarecool · 17/09/2024 13:38

In general I banned my children from standing or climbing on gates, but I grew up around horses and was always taught it potentially damages the gate/pulls it off the hinges, so it was just never allowed.

But in this instance it’s obviously your property and your own garden gate and it’s your kid, so it’s up to you and they are extremely rude mentioning it!

What on earth does any of that have to do with horses?!?!? 🤣🤦‍♀️

DappledThings · 17/09/2024 14:48

AAudreyHorne · 17/09/2024 14:44

Be careful if you go to Lancashire or Yorkshire, there's a very strong chance you won't understand what anyone is saying.
It is common in these areas to say 'he was stood there' or 'she is stood by the fire'.
It's a regional dialect. It may not be grammatically correct, but lots of regional dialect isn't.
You are nitpicking over an irrelevant point in a post about something completely different.
Like most of MN at the moment.

Show quote history

Never claimed I didn't understand it. I answered OP's question about whether she'd made an error. I didn't point it put off my own bat.

HauntedbyMagpies · 17/09/2024 14:48

TheCultureHusks · 17/09/2024 13:36

Haha I used to love it when randoms gave unsolicited orders like that! He ‘shouldn’t’? Um and they get to decide that how?

My go to reply was ‘Silence please, that’s not for you to comment on’

But ordering people to be "silent" is absolutely fine......Hmm

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 17/09/2024 14:47

DappledThings · 17/09/2024 14:33

Yes, as already explained. He was standing on it. He stood on it would be a completed action. He was standing on it was a continuing action. He was stood is incorrect.

Same with sitting and sat. He sat on the sofa. He was sitting on the sofa.

Is it rude to pick up on SPAG errors? The jury's still out. But in this case you asked so I've answered.

Show quote history

The purpose of language is to communicate with each other. The OP's post was perfectly clear, despite being informally phrased.

It is definitely rude to point out SPAG errors.

Not just that, but it makes the pedant look foolish when the writer was obviously using local dialect/slang. It certainly doesn't make them look clever - quite the opposite.

DappledThings · 17/09/2024 14:47

BarbaraHoward · 17/09/2024 14:38

She's writing informally and used a long-established regional phrase in a way that was perfectly understandable. She's grand.

And as for 3.9 - again, I think it was pretty clear, but any decimal wouldn't have changed the meaning, so who cares.

Show quote history

Is it regional? I've seen and heard people use sit/sitting and stood/standing incorrectly from all over the country. I'm not convinced.

Does it matter if someone uses the wrong word in a quick online post? Probably not. In this case OP asked if there was a SPAG error so I assumed she had at least a passing interest in a correction and understanding the error.

DickEmery · 17/09/2024 14:46

The Beatles would never have cracked America if they'd written I Saw Her Stood There. And rightly so!