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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS aged 3.9 is stood on our gate …

211 replies

indurently · 17/09/2024 13:29

He’s looking at cars, tractors and so on. We live on a country road. I’m pushing his sister on a swing.

And a couple just walked by and told me he shouldn’t be on the gate.

Racking my brains somewhat as to what we have done wrong!

OP posts:
BarbaraHoward · 17/09/2024 16:12

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 16:08

I don't think it's fair to go round demanding to know if someone's first language is English.

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I don't think it's fair to go around criticising others for writing perfectly clearly. 🤷‍♀️

PuddlesPityParty · 17/09/2024 16:09

indurently · 17/09/2024 15:44

Do you mean the people who told me my DS shouldn’t be there or the pedants on here? 😅

Either way neither are ‘bothering me so much’ I was just a bit lost as to what they were criticising.

I am actually Lancashire born although have lived in the East Midlands for a number of years now.

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Both I guess 🤣 but don’t let random people get to you! Someone will always have something to say but it doesn’t make them right!

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 16:08

maudelovesharold · 17/09/2024 16:08

I find it really hard to believe that someone whose first language is English would not know what ds is stood on our gate means. I think that the poster was making a snide point about grammar, by disingenuously claiming not to understand what the op meant. Their bafflement could be genuine, of course, due to English not being their native tongue. I strongly suspect that this is not the case here. Is that clear enough for you?

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I don't think it's fair to go round demanding to know if someone's first language is English.

maudelovesharold · 17/09/2024 16:08

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:52

Is it really that hard? You've even hit on a reason they may not understand in your own post. Why are you demanding to know their first language?

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I find it really hard to believe that someone whose first language is English would not know what ds is stood on our gate means. I think that the poster was making a snide point about grammar, by disingenuously claiming not to understand what the op meant. Their bafflement could be genuine, of course, due to English not being their native tongue. I strongly suspect that this is not the case here. Is that clear enough for you?

TeaAndStrumpets · 17/09/2024 16:06

Not read the full thread, but DH broke his arm TWICE as a young child, once falling off a swing, once falling off a gate. I hope your child has better climbing skills!

hepsitemiz · 17/09/2024 16:05

But seriously, OP, were his feet on one of the lower rungs/bars?

I'm not here to break your balls about stood/3.9/horse vs human, but the bit of the gate his feet were on seems vital info to help us judge whether the nosy bastards were BU or not.

Mulhollandmagoo · 17/09/2024 16:04

Probably the same people who complain about kids being inside Infront of the tv all the time 🤣 ignore them OP, sound like misers!!

hepsitemiz · 17/09/2024 16:02

whatsinmypockets · 17/09/2024 15:46

OP's child doesn't have any hands – only hooves.

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Ooops, sorry 😜

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 17/09/2024 15:57

Maybe the couple thought that the gate was a gate to a farm or to a property that wasn't yours. Otherwise I can't imagine why they should care! It doesn't sound dangerous for the child.

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:55

indurently · 17/09/2024 15:55

I think at ages 1, 2 and 3 months matter. There’s a huge difference between a just turned 3 year old and one who is approaching four.

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I agree the difference is quite dramatic sometimes and you only realise looking back

Original poster
indurently · 17/09/2024 15:55

AgainandagainandagainSS · 17/09/2024 15:51

As long as he isn't at any risk of hurting himself or breaking the gate it's fine.
But who measures their kid's age as 3.9? Makes him sound like a dividable chocolate bar hahaha

I think at ages 1, 2 and 3 months matter. There’s a huge difference between a just turned 3 year old and one who is approaching four.

OP posts:
Allthehorsesintheworld · 17/09/2024 15:54

The answer is always Thankyou random man ( or woman) for your unsolicited opinion.

EcoChica1980 · 17/09/2024 15:53

SoupDragon · 17/09/2024 15:21

People who cause damage to gates by standing on the open end are rightly unwelcome. Would you be happy with people damaging your property and make them welcome?

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Did you miss the bit where the OP confirmed it was her garden gate?

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:52

maudelovesharold · 17/09/2024 15:50

Really? I find that hard to fathom. Is English not your first language?

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Is it really that hard? You've even hit on a reason they may not understand in your own post. Why are you demanding to know their first language?

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:52

maudelovesharold · 17/09/2024 15:50

Really? I find that hard to fathom. Is English not your first language?

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Is it really that hard? You've even hit on a reason they may not understand in your own post. Why are you demanding to know their first language?

StarSlinger · 17/09/2024 15:52

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:50

You're not allowed to tell people because it turns into vigilantes

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Maybe the couple were vigilantes on the look out for pervs.

AgainandagainandagainSS · 17/09/2024 15:51

As long as he isn't at any risk of hurting himself or breaking the gate it's fine.
But who measures their kid's age as 3.9? Makes him sound like a dividable chocolate bar hahaha

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:50

ErrolTheDragon · 17/09/2024 15:47

If they were seriously worried about any such thing they would have been a bit more explicit if they actually wanted to be helpful. Confused

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You're not allowed to tell people because it turns into vigilantes

maudelovesharold · 17/09/2024 15:50

Malvala · 17/09/2024 13:39

Sorry I cannot understand is stood. Is it is standing, or stood??? Is stood doesn't make any sense to me.

Really? I find that hard to fathom. Is English not your first language?

ErrolTheDragon · 17/09/2024 15:47

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:43

In all seriousness maybe they know there's a convicted child abuser who lives nearby?

If they were seriously worried about any such thing they would have been a bit more explicit if they actually wanted to be helpful. Confused

JaggySplinter · 17/09/2024 15:47

indurently · 17/09/2024 14:00

I didn’t understand what she didn’t understand. I thought it was someone a bit dim to be totally honest 😂 Did I make a SPAG error? I didn’t even notice!

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Ok, well, as an EFL (non native) English speaker the issue is that you used a passive voice "stood" when an active voice "standing" would be the correct way to say it.

"Stood" is also usually only used as a past participle, so wouldn't be used in conjunction with "is", only "was/were".

He was stood - means someone else cased him to be in that position and refers to the act of someone being caused to stand somewhere.

He was standing - means what you meant - your son was standing on a gate.

Regional differences can be very hard to parse as a non-native speaker. Just like regional differences and accents in my native language are very hard for non-native speakers to understand.

whatsinmypockets · 17/09/2024 15:46

hepsitemiz · 17/09/2024 15:45

What part of the gate are his feet actually on?

They may have a safety concern.

Is it one of those rural, five-bar gates, and your DS's feet are on one of the lower bars? The way you have described it, he could be perched on the very top edge of the gate and that of course would attract comment. If he's on a lower bar, then of course he can steady himself by holding onto a higher-up bar with his hands.

OP's child doesn't have any hands – only hooves.

whatsinmypockets · 17/09/2024 15:45

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 15:43

In all seriousness maybe they know there's a convicted child abuser who lives nearby?

They blimmin' LOVE a 3-year old horse on a gate, they do...

ErrolTheDragon · 17/09/2024 15:45

Only if you think in base 10. In base 12 it's accurate and that's what we use for months (sort of)

Quite so.
Anyone who can't handle that is going to have trouble if we start discussing the height of the fictitious escaping/swinging horses.

StarSlinger · 17/09/2024 15:45

Bloody nora. This thread is insane and so typical of the nit picking and fake puzzlement that goes on, that it should be used as an example of what MN has become.

OP. ignore the arseholes both on this thread and the ones walking by.