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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS aged 3.9 is stood on our gate …

211 replies

indurently · 17/09/2024 13:29

He’s looking at cars, tractors and so on. We live on a country road. I’m pushing his sister on a swing.

And a couple just walked by and told me he shouldn’t be on the gate.

Racking my brains somewhat as to what we have done wrong!

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 17/09/2024 18:15

EcoChica1980 · 17/09/2024 15:18

This right here is why so many people feel unwelcome in the countryside. Too many school monitor types who think the own the place.

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agreed.
and they will be further confused by the use of 'further' to relate to a measurable dimension.
i think the correct word here is
'farther'.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 17/09/2024 18:04

Malvala · 17/09/2024 13:39

Sorry I cannot understand is stood. Is it is standing, or stood??? Is stood doesn't make any sense to me.

If you have something to say, @Malvala, please say it. Snidey digs do not show you in a good light. (By the way I cannot understand ???. Is it ? or ???? ??? doesn't make any sense to me.)

alexdgr8 · 17/09/2024 18:02

MummaMummaJumma · 17/09/2024 14:59

“What is a gate?”

It all made me laugh.. but this part really tickled me 😂

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i think you'll find that it is only in Derbyshire that one can be tickled by a gate.
it used to occasionally happen in parts of Staffordshire too, but that all stopped with the civil war.
it has of course, never been done in London.

DappledThings · 17/09/2024 17:54

Words · 17/09/2024 17:53

Sorry @DappledThings - clumsy wording. I should have made it clear I was agreeing with you. The comment was meant more broadly. Apologies Flowers

Fair enough!

Words · 17/09/2024 17:53

Sorry @DappledThings - clumsy wording. I should have made it clear I was agreeing with you. The comment was meant more broadly. Apologies Flowers

LoveTheProms · 17/09/2024 17:49

Oh my God this is hilarious @DickEmery you made me laugh so much, I feel the need to thank you 🤣

I don't own any gates so I will never have this problem.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/09/2024 17:40

Aged 3.9- even the late Sue Townsend measured in quarters.

I think it was more that her 'intellectual but not very clever' creation gave his fractional age than that she herself would have done.

DappledThings · 17/09/2024 17:37

Words · 17/09/2024 17:34

@DappledThings ( glory be to god for them ;)

No it is not a regional thing, you're right.

'I stood 'is a finished action in the past tense: I stood on the gate ând a stranger told me off.

I was standing: I was standing on the gate when the stranger told me off. ( continuous action in the past tense)

See the subtle difference?

'I was stood ' conflates the two and is wrong.

I know, I said that. Not sure why you're addressing that to me.

Words · 17/09/2024 17:34

@DappledThings ( glory be to god for them ;)

No it is not a regional thing, you're right.

'I stood 'is a finished action in the past tense: I stood on the gate ând a stranger told me off.

I was standing: I was standing on the gate when the stranger told me off. ( continuous action in the past tense)

See the subtle difference?

'I was stood ' conflates the two and is wrong.

stayathomegardener · 17/09/2024 17:34

whatsinmypockets · 17/09/2024 15:43

MNHQ, GET THIS THREAD TO CLASSICS!

Seconding a nomination for Classics.

Brilliant thread.

LlynTegid · 17/09/2024 17:29

In a way their concern for your DS is admirable though seems cautious.

Aged 3.9- even the late Sue Townsend measured in quarters.

PuddlesPityParty · 17/09/2024 17:09

hepsitemiz · 17/09/2024 17:04

I'm gonna try one last time, because how/where on the gate he was standing is the key here.

Was it like this image? Was he on a higher rung? A lower rung?

Makes a huge difference to his balance/security. That's the only thing I think those busy-bodies could have had an issue with.

Idk why but I love that you’ve got an image to try and solve a MN thread 😭 should be done more often!

QuestionableMouse · 17/09/2024 17:05

indurently · 17/09/2024 13:32

Hmm not sure what this means (being thick sorry!)

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Standing on the other end can make the hinges sag and it's a pita to use the gate.

hepsitemiz · 17/09/2024 17:04

I'm gonna try one last time, because how/where on the gate he was standing is the key here.

Was it like this image? Was he on a higher rung? A lower rung?

Makes a huge difference to his balance/security. That's the only thing I think those busy-bodies could have had an issue with.

DS aged 3.9 is stood on our gate …
nonevernotever · 17/09/2024 17:00

ErrolTheDragon · 17/09/2024 15:14

I don't think OP's three year old is a horse?

Pretty sure not, horses can't stand on garden gates and their filly sisters wouldn't fit on a swing.

My late horse would have a good attempt at both. Stand on a gate, climb on a gate, destroy a gate... My "favourite" was the people in the cottage next to his field complaining that the telephone line had an intermittent fault. The bt engineer came out but couldn't find anything wrong. It remained a mystery until one of them was on the phone looking out of the window when the crackling started and she realised my horrible beast was sitting on the support stay for the telephone pole and swinging backwards and forwards. After that the farmer fenced off that part of the field.

Just4thisthreadtoday · 17/09/2024 16:52

gapattachment · 17/09/2024 14:27

It’s just shorthand for three years nine months.

It's really not.

@gapattachment

yes it is.

@indurently without being there, I don't know, but just assume their intentions were good (damage to the gate/ worried he'd somehow hurt himself etc) & forget about it.

🤷🏻‍♀️

supersop60 · 17/09/2024 16:49

Wasn't it Les Dawson (or maybe another Northern comic) who would say "I was stood standing when...."
or "I was sat sitting..."

niadainud · 17/09/2024 16:43

DappledThings · 17/09/2024 14:33

Yes, as already explained. He was standing on it. He stood on it would be a completed action. He was standing on it was a continuing action. He was stood is incorrect.

Same with sitting and sat. He sat on the sofa. He was sitting on the sofa.

Is it rude to pick up on SPAG errors? The jury's still out. But in this case you asked so I've answered.

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Same also with lying and "laid". Although the presence of chickens could complicate this one slightly.

PreFabBroadBean · 17/09/2024 16:43

I got told off on a gate as a child, because I was waving and distracting traffic on a bend - even though it was a quiet road.

supersop60 · 17/09/2024 16:39

OP - were the strangers worried that he was too high up and might fall?
Were they worried that you weren't watching him?

ExquisiteEmelda · 17/09/2024 16:38

Allthehorsesintheworld · 17/09/2024 15:54

The answer is always Thankyou random man ( or woman) for your unsolicited opinion.

I prefer TheCultureHusks “SILENCE !!!!!” 😆

MonsteraMama · 17/09/2024 16:25

stayathomegardener · 17/09/2024 13:31

Is he stood on the hinge end? Big rural faux pas if not. Wink

That's exactly what came into my mind, my great grandma came looming out of the shadows of my mind like a Korean horror movie spirit waving her stick and shrieking "stand at the hinge end or you'll break it!!!"

GLVF · 17/09/2024 16:23

Malvala · 17/09/2024 13:39

Sorry I cannot understand is stood. Is it is standing, or stood??? Is stood doesn't make any sense to me.

'Is standing' is standard British English, but 'is stood' is widely said. Rather like 'she was sat next to me', which in standard British English would be 'she was sitting next to me'.

Edited to add, this person may be asking because they don't know the difference, or that there could be a difference – and that's fine to ask, and not necessarily being pedantic!

SmileyHappyPeopleInTheSun · 17/09/2024 16:17

I don't think you've done anything wrong - some people just like to finger wag at young children and parents.

I got used to it very fast but remember DH coming home annoyed as an older couple down road who'd never spoken to us had told him off for not having socks on our new baby - it wasn't a cold day in fact it was height of summer.

alpacachino · 17/09/2024 16:13

BarbaraHoward · 17/09/2024 16:12

I don't think it's fair to go around criticising others for writing perfectly clearly. 🤷‍♀️

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Fair point