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Original poster

Asking parents to refinance home for him?!

111 replies

RosesandRainbows · 17/09/2024 11:53

My boyfriend (mid40’s) is in a financial pickle. He is in serious debt (we’re talking multiple thousand of pounds a month repayments) and can’t even pay his rent or child maintenance at the moment. He is due some large payments from previous contracts that are dragging along and should (if they do at all) get paid out in the next 6 months or so.

He has asked his parents to remortgage their house to help him out of this hole until he finally gets some money to pay them back, pay his debts back and then have some money left over to live off of. They have agreed!

Am I the only one that thinks this is madness from them to equity release - at great cost- to help him out with no guarantee that he will actually be able to pay them back. Or am I a heartless b*tch?

OP posts:
Original poster
RosesandRainbows · 17/09/2024 12:02

DarkandStormyNightie · 17/09/2024 11:57

That's a really shitty thing for him to ask them to do.

Tells you everything you need to know about this man. He's willing to risk his parents' home to avoid his own responsibilities. He can't manage his own affairs.

I'd be rethinking this relationship if I were you. It will be you next that is expected to bail him out.

I agree with you, it’s shitty and I can’t imagine doing that to my parents!
He’s hinted that it would be good of me to lend him some cash until they get the money to him. What I have wouldn’t even touch the sides of what he needs and I doubt theirs will either.
Don’t worry, I’m not lending him anything and am reconsidering what type of person he is and if that’s for me.

OP posts:
LoubeighLough · 17/09/2024 12:02

And is he considering their mental health like? He sounds selfish.

DarkandStormyNightie · 17/09/2024 12:02

His attitude feels a little like elder abuse to me.

TheLurpackYears · 17/09/2024 11:59

It is madness, it's time to leave him by the sounds of things, please don't get pregnant before you do!

Original poster
RosesandRainbows · 17/09/2024 11:58

Bluevelvetsofa · 17/09/2024 11:56

Can he live with his parents instead? Remortgaging is crazy.

He completely refuses to do that. He says it will have a detrimental affect on his mental health to move into their home as he needs his own space.

I just think it’s such a big ask for them to equity release or something similar at such a huge expense. I don’t know that they realise what they are getting themselves into.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 17/09/2024 11:58

Crazy debt, but why should his parents remortgage house. Couldn't be with someone in that much debt.

Deipara · 17/09/2024 11:58

I wouldn't ask my parents to do this. But it's between them I suppose!

Bananalanacake · 17/09/2024 11:58

You're right, you're not a heartless bitch. Well done on not letting him move in with you. Hopefully his contracts will pay out.

DarkandStormyNightie · 17/09/2024 11:57

That's a really shitty thing for him to ask them to do.

Tells you everything you need to know about this man. He's willing to risk his parents' home to avoid his own responsibilities. He can't manage his own affairs.

I'd be rethinking this relationship if I were you. It will be you next that is expected to bail him out.

Bluevelvetsofa · 17/09/2024 11:56

Can he live with his parents instead? Remortgaging is crazy.

LoubeighLough · 17/09/2024 11:56

Multiple thousands of pounds a month repayments? Wow. Yeah that's crazy!

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