Asking parents to refinance home for him?!

He can declare himself bankrupt. He is a man-child and will continue to live beyond his means. If you’ve been with him two years, and know his parents, I would be tempted to have a word with them - he is in his mid 40s and needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions. There is a very real chance he will not be able to pay them back.

Third the echo of check your own credit file especially as he has tried to get you to give him money. He's not paying for his children and has no consideration for his parents, you will be fair game.

That ick will grow, run @RosesandRainbows .

I agree with this, although I would be concerned about revenge if he finds out that it was you that told his siblings.

I can't believe that anyone could ask their parents to do this. I hope his parents aren't considering it.

To reiterate another poster:

check your credit score asap in case he has taken out plans in your name!

Being honest I think I’d inadvertently mention it to one of the siblings. It would either make the sibling persuade the parents not to do it, or all hell would break loose and they’d all want a piece of the pie and in the ensuing drama hopefully the parents would see sense.

how old are the parents?

there are two people here who are being seriously taken advantage of and if they’re doing one of those elderly equity release things there will be absolutely nothing left by the time it comes to sell home. What if they need care etc?

OP, if he's owed all this money across several contracts, why has he not opted to explore invoice factoring?

Has he enquired with his bank about this means to enable him to stay afloat rather than exploit involve others?

Please dump him, and please tell his siblings so that they can advise the poor parents. What a shitfest.

It looks like he asked them to remortgage to allow him continue to keep up with debt payments until he is able to pay off the debt not where he lives.

Either way it's very risky for his parents and selfish on his part and OP should be really careful about tying up her financial future to this man.

This, I think.

How awful that he is putting this burden on his parents.

And playing that mental health card, whilst not caring how their MH is affected by taking on this debt.

He is responsible for his own spending, and his choice to work as a contractor rather than secure employment. He needs to now lie on the bed he has made.

As well as his poor parents, what about his poor children? I note that CM is one of the bills he is claiming he “can’t” pay.

I would get rid if I were you. It’s a shame you can’t make his parents see sense and protect themselves but yon have to think of yourself

Ditch him and let the siblings know why if you know them, hopefully they would put a stop to it.

Whereas, potentially making them homeless if it all goes wrong wouldn't?

Actually, he sounds conscience-free and utterly self-centred.

Pleased to read this is stimulating the ick factor for you.

what a horrible user! Please dump him.

What an awful man. I don't even know where to start.

FWIW my mum offered to do equity release years ago on her house when I was struggling financially. Not a chance in hell would I let her do that. Nobody who has any respect for their parents - or cares about them - would do that.

Especially not when you're a grown man (and father) who has got himself into this mess by splashing cash he never had.

Revolting. Get rid @RosesandRainbows

If he can't even sacrifice anything to help pay his own debts (i.e. Moving back home) then it's highly unlikely he will pay back his parents. They shouldn't agree to it. I wonder if they did actually agree to it willingly or has he forced them to agree. He sounds very selfish. I wouldn't want to be with him if it was me in this situation.

I was just going to suggest checking your credit rating. Sounds like he would do anything to keep up the pretence of a rich lifestyle
I use Credit Karma which is free and quick to sign up for
I'm glad you have the ick, get rid of him
He has no morals

He's not going to pay them back. If he's in hundreds of thousands of debt, awaiting payment on contracts that probably will never materialise. How on earth has he managed to be so irresponsible? I couldn't be with a man like that. He'd see his mum and dad on the streets to save his own skin. Pathetic. He's not even paying bare minimum for his children?
You must be able to find a boyfriend with a heart, and a brain. And a wallet that doesn't have a hole in the bottom.

I would dip on him today, I couldn't be with someone I had no respect for and this man is not worth consideration.

I would check your credit score to make sure he hasn't taken any loans or credit in your name op, these people rob everyone blind eventually and it's never their fault.

Why you even with him?
Doubt they will get a remortgage if they are close to retiring, whatever you do don't lend him money you'll never see it again. I'd be running!

He sounds awful. What's the point of him? Why is he your boyfriend? What are his good points ? Because I wouldn't think very highly of someone in their 40s who would happily take money from his presuming approaching elderly parents in that kind of way. Ick.

His parents need to say goodbye to that money forever. They'll never get it back.

Is this what you want for your future as well?

His poor parents.

Is he living with you? I wouldn't want anything to do with him, tbh. I certainly wouldn't lend him a penny!