Aibu to ask if you bought your child a dumbphone

If you want a "dumb" phone, I'd recommend a traditional Nokia. When I was a kid, they were indestructible. Also, the battery life is unreal. (Our local parkrun uses a Nokia; the core volunteer team doesn't have to remember to keep the phone charged.)

But if your child's school has many apps—homework, timetables, etc—the list is endless and seems to change yearly—then you'll need a smartphone. Don't forget to enable parental controls while they're young.

And if you stick with a "dumb" phone for whatever reason... I'd suggest an air tag somewhere unobtrusive, e.g. inside their school bag. If you collect them after school, it's a PITA trying to find your child out of a crowd of a thousand.

This is a really interesting thread. I'm a way off this for my DC but have talked about using dumb phones from high school until sixth form.

I've just heard too many stories of the horrors of social media for children. It's so bad for them and we've no idea the long term impact. I heard a doctor make the comparison to cigarettes - allowing teens access to social media is as harmful as buying them cigarettes. That really stuck with me.

Quite honestly I would be wanting to send my child/teen to a different school if the school required my child to have one so that they could use library card, home work app etc. Totally beyond what is necessary imho. Too much too young.
Im in my 40s and still very happy with my ancient little flip phone. It does nothing except text and calls and thats all I really every need - bus pass, library card, whatever else are in the pocket of my coat/bag. If I need directions I dont need google maps I just ask someone. If I need to know what time the bus is coming I look at the printed timetable at the bus stop or ask people who are waiting if they think its due. Paying for stuff I use a debit card and have never yet felt a need to sign up to online banking) I hate that nowadays having a smartphone by the time kids get to secondary school is so universal (and Im loving the recent pushback against it!)

I do love a burner phone. DH has one like a proper gangster. I wanted the kids to have them, but they needed so many apps for school. So they had very locked down iPhones instead. No socials at all, no app downloading without consent. No internet browser for the first few years. Phone locks down at a reasonable hour except they can call or message me/DH/sibling at any time. So emergency use only. We allowed WhatsApp, but monitored from a laptop. Gradually we loosened our grip as they got older. Despite the school talking a lot about being anti-phone, so much work is set on apps, so many resources are “watch these YouTube vids”. Library cards and lunch money is in an app. Impossible for us to go dumb phone for DC.

We have a Nokia brick for my 13 yr old and most of her friends only have access to this type of phone too

DC in y7 has a Nokia brick. It makes you realise how intuitive and easy to use smartphones are! Phones are not allowed at their school and are locked away so it's just in case he needs to tell me he's staying out late or similar.

Old school texting is a bit of a pain but he's picked it up remarkably quickly.

He rarely uses it or looks at it, except to play the odd game of Snake. I'm happy with that.

I'd still love to get him a touchscreen dumb phone when something eventually comes out, but no rush.

My DS nearly 13 has a smartphone and we just monitor what is/isn’t allowed, he has a time limit and it shuts off about an hour before his bedtime.

We were stricter initially about social media etc but unfortunately so much socialising and interaction seems to happen through Snapchat and WhatsApp etc. DS was often left out of things when he didn’t have them
and seems to be way more included and fitting into a nice friendship group now.

It’s really hard to navigate.

At 11 we gave our son an old phone that we had for an au pair about ten years ago. it was worse than a Nokia Brick. Think the old style press A three times to get a C when messaging. He only needed it to call us to get picked up from the park. He styled it out telling his mates it was his burner phone 🤣🤣🤣
Honestly kept him out of so much snap chat drama in the his last year of primary.

A dumb phone didn't make sense for my daughter as she needs to see when her bus was coming in the morning, had her bus pass, lunch card and library card on as well as access to her homework app.

The longest that's possible is forever (I mean, until they're adults, whereupon they can choose for themselves and pay for it themselves). You don't have to cave to peer pressure or the dc whining or whatever. You have a free choice - don't let anyone tell you different. You don't have to get them any phone at all - not even a dumbphone. You're in charge.

I would check with the school. They have lots of apps they need to use for homework at my DD's school and also use their smartphones in lessons sometimes.

Excellent idea. They featured it on TV the other day.
Children were still able to message and call friends but they weren't addicted to the phone.
You saw them enjoying themselves playing more and getting outdoors.

Our teens are only allowed dumb phones until they go to 6th form college. We just got basic phones from Tesco, which suit them well.

Planning on getting a dumbfone for Y6 DS.

He's also very unlikely to get mugged for it and it will be less expensive to replace when it (no doubt) gets lost somewhere.

Following with interest
I want to put off getting my child any kind of addictive tech for as long as humanly possible

DD (11) has an iPhone but it is locked down. She cannot download any apps without my permission. I can restrict screen time and add limits for particular apps as well. I think the parental controls from Apple are really useful.

She has no social media but does have WhatsApp. Her friendship group uses this to have group video calls. I think this is sweet.

She did get added to some Y7 group chats and I look at these - she knows I do. There’s been some bullying on those already but this has not involved her. However, I’m shocked to see some kids still chatting away after 10pm. DD’s phone gets locked at 7pm at the moment. She is not allowed to have it in her room at night. Some of the parents don’t seem to know or care what their kids are doing.

I’d get us all a dumb phone if only you could have WhatsApp on it, without it nobody in our family would contact each other!!!

We bought the Nokia 5710 as we liked that it had an MP3 player and my DC likes audiobooks and music at the gym. It was one the school recommended when they moved to restrict smartphones to over 14. DC is 12.

Sorry, to clarify, we had parental controls on for the first few years but it meant that they could use various homework apps etc

How can you describe non smart phones as flimsy? You can drop them etc because there's no delicate screen to smash. Just get a Nokia. However multiple GD (age 9 has a smart phone) . I don't support the banning of smart phones by schools.

No we bought her a smartphone at start of year 7 but put parental controls on it so she didn't have unlimited access to the internet, she needed adult permission to download apps and it was locked overnight.

She needs a smartphone really for the apps school use for homework and communication and for things like live travel updates and tickets for the bus home.

She also uses WhatsApp a lot to message friends

Same

Gdd1, 9, has been given an old Nokia, since she’s now Y5 and (delighted to be!) allowed to walk to and from school on her own.

I think you’re missing the point. Sensible parents are now buying dumb phones instead of smart phones. This isn’t about giving phones to primary age kids. Smartphones are not suitable for children.

Nokia flip phone for my son who just started Y7. He can call and text and it has a few very simple games. It's going fine, and because texting is a pain with the old ten digit keypad, he and his old primary friends at different schools ring each other for chats rather than text. So much better than them being on what's app.

He is also tending to start his homework on the train home because he doesn't have a phone distracting him. School makes them lock all phones in pouches on arrival anyway so he wouldn't use it at school.

Downside, however, is that he can't check the train app to see if his trains to/from school are delayed, and he doesn't have phone banking so needs to remember his debit card, and to check the balance of his account we have to log onto the bank's website on a computer. Some of the school's tech also requires two factor authentication if his tablet is used off site which also isn't easy without a smart phone.