To make a new male dad friend

Exactly.

Really struggle to understand some of the comments on this site, just much lack of trust, it's a kids play date for gods sake...

@Geriatricmillenial I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable IF that’s the kind of marriage you have. I get the impression it isn’t though, the man you married has no female friends, never has, but has previously been unfaithful (to you?). The man you married was never going to be okay with this, you know him well so you must have sort of known that already maybe?
It’s only a few posts from you here, and I could be very wrong, but I sort of get the impression you have your doubts about your husband, like maybe you don’t respect him or like him that much. That’s okay, from what you’ve said of him it sounds like he’s not that likeable, but are you being honest with him about that? If so, that’s likely why he’s insecure, if not, he might suspect it anyway.
The true advice is find a way to respect your husband again or set him free. Life is too short to be tolerating a man you don’t like as a favour to him or your children.

Actually op I presume that post was meant flippantly but could that in fact be a way forward.
Tell DH you’ll take the counselling session and he can go with the sahd. That way he gets to meet him, ( which might help), you demonstrate you were only going for the Dc , the Dc don’t miss out and there is no embarrassing cancellation with the sahd. You can just say something has come up but DH is coming. Also sends the message to sahd you are in a functional marriage - just in case “ a trip to the petting zoo” was code for something altogether different. Anyway hope that poor guy isn’t on MN!

I made friends with a dad who works part time and often attended local things with his DC at the same time I was there with my DC. Our DC get on really well and are the same age.

We are good friends now and sometimes meet up with the dad, the mum, or the whole family. We had them round for lunch and a play date today - they all came but I arranged it with the dad as he tends to be the organiser. It would be such a shame for our kids and us as adults if we hadn’t been allowed to be friends / organise anything because someone has a penis!

Everyone suggesting that it was a bad thing to do because you’re having couples counselling… you set up a play date with another parent! You aren’t just texting a random man you met, the purpose is to arrange something for you child. If your husband is that insecure, no wonder you need counselling. If he’s that alarmed, maybe he could take up that bit of the parenting load and arrange the play date.

A male friend who was a SAHP left his wife after falling in love with a mum that he met in similar circumstances.

I think this is sensible advice.

Logically there is no reason not to do this meet up.

Emotionally I can absolutely see your DH’s point of view. He’s heading off to couples counselling to try to help your ailing marriage and you’re off meeting another bloke. It doesn’t quite say “I am putting my all into saving this marriage” does it.

Just don’t. It’s a small sacrifice to make while you hopefully get your marriage more solid. Once it (hopefully) is more secure then this kind of meet up should be fine. Just not right now.

Exactly. I was going to suggest something a little more convoluted, namely sniffing out some copulating farm animals at the play date 🐖🐗and watching veerrry carefully for a reaction, especially giving you the side eye op 👀. But a nude photo is much more to the point . 👍

She tried it and he was I guess.

Does that mean that as a single mum I am not allowed to speak to married men any more? But it was OK when I was married?

I hadn't realised that being single meant I will now suddenly want to have affairs with every man I come across 😂

Thanks simple solutions are often the most effective, as they eliminate unnecessary B/S and provide clarity. Right now that's needed by Op and Op Dh. To plan the next steps forward with this.

Best answer so far 😃

😂You’re joking right? You and your husband seriously think that men and women can’t speak to each other without wanting to shag?

There are so many odd attitudes on this thread but mainly it's very clear that most people have not been on a playdate to a farm park in their lives if they think it's a good way to start an affair.

(I do think if you're having couples counselling and he's asked you not to, it's fair enough for you to have a conversation about it though).

Op have you considered sending over a couple nudes to this other Dad to test the waters? You'll soon see if he's up for more than a play date. The you and your DH can make a plan of where to go with it from there.

I just asked my husband how he would feel and his response was 'well he could fuck off... have you meeting up with single men. No way' And I agree with him

How do you know?

🤣

It is such a shame that you cancelled, of course you can have play dates/a possible friendship with someone of the opposite sex. All this tells me is he feels you can't be trusted with this man, which isn't fair.

Your DH is being ridiculous. No wonder you’re in couples counselling if he doesn’t trust you and tries to control who you’re friends with.

You being serious the husband is acting exactly the same way, as most you women would be, I have seen so many post with husband having a female friend most of you are saying it's an affair.

No person beside a few of us will agree with a opposite sex friendship.
As long as it is a friendship I see no problem.
It's natural and normal.
Get your partner to go along to if he's angry.

Wtf?

I’m a single mum and have several male dad friends who I comfortably hang out with. None of them is ‘willing to take it further’ and would probably be horrified if I ‘showed willing’.