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Original poster

To tell my neighbour he's a fucking knobhead

139 replies

NobbyNeighbour · 17/09/2024 07:54

So we have a bungalow at the back of us, always got on with the lady who lived there. We have a thick conifer hedge between us which is about 8ft tall. It's our hedge, dh cuts the height and our side. Occasionally she would ask us to cut her side and being nice I would send dh to do it even though technically it's her responsibility.

Her adult (in his 40s) son moved in and the word is in the village he's not nice but I never had anything to do with him. Then last year he came banging on our front door ranting at dd about the hedge. Told her "tell your parents they've got till 5pm tonight to decide what they're doing, either they cut my side of the hedge this weekend or I cut it and send them the bill". Really shouty. I didn't bother going round to discuss with him as I knew neither option would be occurring. It was a foot deep in snow so hardly hedge cutting weather and I'm not paying for something that's his responsibility. He's never been back and hasn't cut the hedge.

Then yesterday evening he lights a bonfire 2ft from our hedge. It's not the first big fire he's had on the boundary but this was the worst. Right on our side of the hedge we have a garden office. The flames were at least 9ft high, I could see them over the hedge. He's a cowboy builder and often has bonfires as he burns stuff from his work. Ash was raining down all over the garden. I was scared for the hedge and garden office, I could smell petrol so think he'd put petrol on it. There were little bangs and explosions so God knows what he was burning. I started shouting at him and he was laughing and shouting "you need to cut your hedge". I lost my shit at that point and called him a fucking knobhead and dialled 999. Fire brigade put the fire out. But apparently he felt I was overreacting. Stupid idiot has actually burnt the fascia board on his own garage!

I don't even think he's doing it to try and damage the hedge, I just think he's as thick as mince and doesn't give a shit. Apparently he's always threatening people in the village. I know he was mouthing off in the shop a bit ago threatening to burn some people out if he found who had objected to his planning permission.

So while I'm still mad as hell I'm also slightly nervous! I videoed quite a bit yesterday, not sure if I contacted the council whether they'd talk to him about the bonfires but guess I can't prove he's burning non domestic stuff?

OP posts:
BCSurvivor · 17/09/2024 10:40

OP, yes the neighbour is being a dickhead BUT if the roots of the hedge are on your side of the boundary it's your responsibility to cut the hedge back on the neighbour's side if it's encroaching on to their garden.

SnowDiaries · 17/09/2024 10:40

Sorry for the slightly off-topic question, but do people who recklessly start a far too large bonfire close to buildings and are crazy enough to pour petrol on it not get billed by the fire brigade in the UK? I'm in a different country, and here, the neighbour would have to pay and probably not do it again.

2Old2Tango · 17/09/2024 10:39

Pixiedust1234 · 17/09/2024 08:41

You do realise the law on hedges (or trees forming a hedge) is to keep them a maximum of 2 metres? That's roughly 6.5 feet, not 8 feet, so he could complain about that.
That is for fencing not hedges. But I'm happy to be educated on this - which country is this law for and can you provide a link?

Show quote history

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/high-hedges-complaining-to-the-council/high-hedges-complaining-to-the-council

High hedges: complaining to the council

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/high-hedges-complaining-to-the-council/high-hedges-complaining-to-the-council

Crowsandbadgers · 17/09/2024 10:36

Is it a hedge instead of a fence? Or is the hedge on your land and they have their own fence? Looking at the picture it seems you gave a hedge separating gardens rather than a fence. Some houses/gardens were built this way. My relative has theirs instead of a fence and they maintain their own side and take it in turns to chop the top.

If you chopped down the hedge and removed it entirely would you then have free access to their garden? If that’s the case it would be more expensive for him to pay to install and potentially maintain a fence (painting it etc) assuming he wants a private garden.

Surely if the hedge is what contains your garden and their garden they should just maintain their side? Or install a fence on their boundary line - making all sides of the hedge your issue.

Getonwitit · 17/09/2024 10:36

It is your hedge and therefore your responsibility to make sure it doesn't encroach on your neighbours property. He is in the wrong but so are you.

Llangles · 17/09/2024 10:31

comedycentral · 17/09/2024 08:10

I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of anyone who likes to go around threatening to burn places and demonstrates a recklessness around fire. Engage with him as little as possible, if he starts uncontrollable garden fires- call the fire brigade. Document any harrassment or threats.

Saying nothing can give people like this the impression that they can walk all over you though. Sometimes it’s better to let them know you’re not a pushover

DogInATent · 17/09/2024 10:29

ALovelyCupOfNameChange · 17/09/2024 10:27

if Your feeling brave you could wait until he’s out and talk to his mum. She sounds more reasonable.

oh and I’m team hedge all the way. They are great for sound proofing, cover as well as fantastic habitats we are loosing.
we definitely need more

It's Leylandii, the habitat value is about the same as a fence.

salcombebabe · 17/09/2024 10:28

Tessasanderson · 17/09/2024 09:35

I think i made it pretty clear in my post. Whilst the OP may not be obliged by law to look after both sides of her hedge/trees its pretty shitty to do that to a neighbour imo. That makes her as bad as the knobhead setting fire to stuff......is that ok with you?

A good neighbour considers how their own trees impact neighbours and works to look after them.

Show quote history

They were maintaining the lady’s side of the hedge until the rude son moved in! Why should they attempt to maintain the neighbours side of the hedge when being sworn at by the son? And how are they to do that when it’s a building site? They wouldn’t be safe!

ALovelyCupOfNameChange · 17/09/2024 10:27

if Your feeling brave you could wait until he’s out and talk to his mum. She sounds more reasonable.

oh and I’m team hedge all the way. They are great for sound proofing, cover as well as fantastic habitats we are loosing.
we definitely need more

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 17/09/2024 10:24

Yeah this man sounds like a knobhead, but as pps have said, it IS your responsibility to cut the other side of the hedge if it's your hedge. You said it is in your OP. So you're not doing the lady a favour by cutting the side that's in her garden. It's YOUR hedge.

.

Mabs49 · 17/09/2024 10:21

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/09/2024 09:56

I've lived in a number of houses with hedges belonging to us and various neighbours...everyone has always just cut their own side of the hedge and treated it as a shared hedge. I've never heard of anyone arranging access to their neighbours garden and cutting their side too. Even though people do other neighbourly things like lend each other bits, put put bins and take in parcels. Is this hedge cutting something that is a practice in a specific part of the UK or something?

That’s communal hedge and not a set of trees between one landowner and another. Different rules apply.

Crumpleton · 17/09/2024 10:20

I'm pretty sure from an environmental side as a builder he isn't allowed to burn waste from his customers property at his own abode.

Our EO told me this when I once reported a fire that was sending black smoke up and had the most awful smell to boot. They came our and issued the contractors with a warning.

As for the hedge he could have gone about it in a different way, as said he obviously believed as you'd done it on occasion that you'd continue, but normally a neighbour would just cut their side back to the boundary.

Definitely sounds a bit of an unhinged bully though.

Lupina12 · 17/09/2024 10:17

Total bullying idiot, sadly as you've found you can't reason with a prat like this!

Get yourself some excellent CCTV front and back of the house. Ring cameras are great. it will give you peace of mind, but if he ever does silly things you may need it x

Blobblobblob · 17/09/2024 10:13

Regardless of what you might do to help a neighbour cut their side in normal circumstances, this is not normal - he's behaving in a totally unacceptable way and therefore has forfeited his right to any consideration.

Why should the OP roll over and do what he wants? All that teaches him is that if bullies her enough, she will cave in

Fuck that

Ponoka7 · 17/09/2024 10:10

I'd put cameras up. I wouldn't trust him to not do deliberate damage. I agree to keep phoning the fire brigade.

bazoom · 17/09/2024 10:09

Tessasanderson · 17/09/2024 09:07

TBH you all sound horrible. He is indeed a knobhead for being aggressive and lighting fires. Your attitude towards the hedge on his side not being your problem marks you out as similar in my book. The odd trim for his mum was fine, but its not fine now. Its your hedge. Regrdless of the law etc its your hedge and he obviously is sick of it. IMO you have a responsibility to see it from his POV an maintain it to his satisfaction or at least make the effort. ITS YOUR HEDGE.

Just happy its similar minded people getting each others backs up

Thats rubbish, (I think🙂) I am responsible for cutting my hedge in my garden but no chance I am going into my neighbours garden to cut their side of my hedge, once it is growing over into their boundary that part is for them to cut. I would hate someone waltzing into my garden to cut a hedge because the roots were in their garden. Trespassing. The op sounds reasonable and the neighbour sounds like one of those folks with a stinking attitude.

Original poster
NobbyNeighbour · 17/09/2024 10:09

It might not even be 8ft. Not sure. I think it looks tidy. The roof behind is a bungalow on the right and a garage on the left not a house

Dh has always cut the height twice a year. We cut it both sides yearly but his garden has looked like a bomb site for ages so we can’t. If he comes round and has a calm conversation and clears space we’d do it again. But I’m not engaging with him when he comes and rants at dd.

To tell my neighbour he's a fucking knobhead
OP posts:
DogInATent · 17/09/2024 10:08

If it's a leylandii hedge then they will burn even when green, with or without petrol as an accelerant. And they're usually pretty choked with dead matter in the middle that will act as kindling.

If you've put your garden office close to the hedge, I would be having a serious look at whose hedge it is. And if it is yours (or it's unclear) taking full advantage of the knobhead's attitude to the hedge to take it down and replace with a fence. You'll probably get several feet of garden back that the hedge is currently overgrowing at the same time that you can plant with something that will grow and provide the same view block the hedge did.

Sartre · 17/09/2024 10:05

If it’s your hedge I’d say you’re responsible for cutting the whole thing, no? It doesn’t seem
fair to impose a huge hedge on the neighbour and expect them to cut their side. Of course the guy is a dickhead and the fire was utterly irresponsible but you should be cutting the whole hedge because it’s yours.

TorghunKhan · 17/09/2024 10:03

keep the receipts. record every encounter. Call 999 whenever you are actually threatened or a fire happens. Be calm and collected and above all else, record things.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/09/2024 10:00

I also wasn't aware that people considered hedges to be a nuisance. They look a bit nicer (imo) than fences, are less prone to damage, don't need painting and replacing, don't blow down, don't cost a lot to install, better for wildlife etc. Do people generally prefer fences then?

QueenCamilla · 17/09/2024 09:59

I wouldn't want either of you as my neighbours.

LuluBlakey1 · 17/09/2024 09:57

Our neighbour has a beech hedge about 7 ft hight around their front garden. They maintain their side and ours and remove the cuttings.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/09/2024 09:56

I've lived in a number of houses with hedges belonging to us and various neighbours...everyone has always just cut their own side of the hedge and treated it as a shared hedge. I've never heard of anyone arranging access to their neighbours garden and cutting their side too. Even though people do other neighbourly things like lend each other bits, put put bins and take in parcels. Is this hedge cutting something that is a practice in a specific part of the UK or something?

stealthninjamum · 17/09/2024 09:55

He does sound like a twat but I do wonder if his mum has been moaning about the hedge for years and is distressed by it. How big is his garden if he can have a bonfire on the boundary with yours and still damage their garage? I’m imagining quite a small garden - in which case an 8 foot hedge wouldn’t be very neighbourly - even if it is legally ok. Presumably his mum’s garden wasn't always full of holes and crap and you still chose not to cut the hedge much.

The problem is he is a bully so you now have to call the police and fire brigade every time he has a dangerous bonfire and report that you think he’s burning petrol and non household waste.