To tell my neighbour he's a fucking knobhead

Well good for you, what a great neighbour you are. Likewise, the OP is also a good neighbour because she is maintaining her hedge and keeping it nice and tidy and is under no obligation to trim the side which is in the neighbours property. All these people who are offended because “they never asked for a hedge” is funny. I have to trim several hedges that “I didn’t ask for” because I know it is not my neighbour’s responsibility. Twice a year they get a good cut, I don’t lose sleep over it. 🤷‍♀️ Mumsnet really is full of people who are guilty of nothing, offended by everything.

Who’s shouting? Why should her neighbour maintain op’s hedge? She didn’t ask for it to be planted🤷‍♀️
What if the neighbours old or hates gardening, why should her garden look a mess because of someone else’s hedge?

Why should her neighbours be responsible for a hedge she planted?
We have hedging on two sides and always maintain both sides, its common decency.

😂😂 yes, why is it so difficult for people to understand? So did you specifically chose your house because of the lack of hedges? Would you never buy a house if the neighbour had a hedge? Don’t be so ridiculous.

Cut their side of a hedge they didn’t ask for nor wanted? Okay …..

Even though you are not legally obliged to cut the hedge and even though he's been horrible to you, it could be worth giving the hedge a really good cut, smiling at him and promising to trim it every year in future. Disputes with neighbours are horribly stressful and even worse if bonfires are involved. But what has happened to his mother - is she OK?

Oh wait, wait wait......yes because you've had so much more practice. Kabomtish

Did your daughter feel he was threatening in his manner?
If so, together with his dangerous fire, i would be reporting this to the police, telling them you called the fire service.

I would show them the videos and tell him that you are nervous of him.
Create a paper trail.
Perhaps others have reported him too.

Nonsense. She maintains the height and her side, but it’s up to the neighbours to cut their own side.

Does this not remind everyone of the "Stopping cats shitting in my garden" posts? It always descends into two groups. Those that think the owners should take some kind of responsibility and those that declare them as wild animals and tough shit (literally).

Society has lost the ability to accept that sometimes its just common courtesy to accept you are negatively effecting someone's life and a bit of effort may stop them turning into a raging lunatic who sets fire to stuff.

Personally i would hate to think that something of mine would cause that kind of situation and i would do whatever i could to solve it. Waiting for the guy to flip his lid enough to set fire to something does not sound like its an overnight situation. The previous pictures of the 'hedge' shows a rather mature set of leylandi pruned immaculately which could be a huge mess on the other side.

Not cutting a hedge (which she has no legal obligation to cut) is on a par with threatening to burn people and lighting a fire to intimidate neighbours? Hmm.

This in spades. ^ We've got this woman that lives just around the corner from us and her 200 foot long back garden has got a big, massive holly hedge across part of it (around 140 feet long.) And some of it - about half - comes across the bottom of our garden... I keep our side as neatly trimmed as best as I can, but I can't do the top very well. (And DH can't do it because of a health issue... but he did he used to do it with the chainsaw/hedge cutters.)

We've lived here for 10 years and my husband used to trim it back about 12 inches in depth, and trim the top 6 inches or so (basically however much it had grown!) And for 5 years in a row he did her side as well, because (and I quote) he 'couldn't stand the thought of a woman having to do it herself...' 🙄 Especially a woman who is older. She is just 5 years older than us! (She is divorced. And we have never seen or met her ex. She never mentions him.)

3 years ago, my husband had a bit of an accident and hurt his back, he slipped a disc, and he has sciatica, so he's now unable to do anything that involves heavy lifting or stretching. So I popped round a couple of summers ago to tell her that he won't be doing the hedges anymore, but as I said, I've been trimming our side as best I can. Even though it's her hedge.

She seemed a bit annoyed and just rolled her eyes. 'Well I don't know how I will cope with it now, it's so big - and tough to do.' I said 'I know, I am having to do our side!' We actually offered to pay half towards the whole lot being trimmed both sides, and she said 'not likely! I am not paying anyone else to do it!' She doesn't want to do it, but she doesn't want to pay anyone else to do it either. She wants someone else to do it for free. (Preferably my DH.) It's got a lot bigger since we moved in, and thicker and sturdier, and is fucking hard work...

FYI the hedge is 100% on her side. 100%. It's her hedge. It's on her land. I said to DH that I feel like getting a fucking 6 ft fence, and putting it on our side of the monster hedge, and leaving it ALL to her to trim and maintain.

.

I think you’re both being very unreasonable. It’s you’re hedge, you planted it, you should maintain it 🤷‍♀️
He sounds like a nut job.
Why can’t you liase with the lady? Have you even tried approaching him to arrange to cut the hedge?
I would report him to local council for antisocial behaviour every time he does something, I would report his fires every time he has them, I would report him for burning inappropriate materials.

I looked into the law on this and it's horrifyingly complicated if you can't come to an agreement. It's definitly not your legal responsibilty to trim the hedge on his side, though.

They don't actually say they put it there themselves. Might have been done when the houses were built.

They also said At the time we couldn't do it due to a combination of snow and piles of rubble. The piles of rubble and also excavated holes remain in his garden right up to the hedge, he's literally being excavating with a mini digger for months. It's like a building site, I'm not going in, it's not safe. You couldn't stand on a step ladder. If it's a safe environment and he talks to us rather than ranting we'll think about it.

So how are they supposed to cut it at height with the garden in that condition?

This. It’s your very large hedge that your neighbour had no choice about but you expect her to cut it? I don’t care what the law says have some common decency for your neighbours.

but yes, the son is an arse to act the way he has

It would be ridiculous to go round to all your neighbours and cut any plants, trees, hedges that are on the border but technically start in your land.

It is his responsibility and as you say, now he has reacted like that I definitely wouldn't be going round there to do it as a goodwill gesture.

Our hedges were in place when both neighbours, and we, moved here. They knew what they were getting and so did we. Old beech hedges are a feature and benefit wildlife. There is no way I'd be cutting their side too, it's just how hedges work, each person cuts their side.

It’s not really either of their responsibility! If he is happy to have it sprawling into his garden he can leave it. If he wants it trimmed, he can trim it. But it’s certainly not OP’s responsibility to go onto someone else’s property to trim their side of their hedge.

I wouldn't be agreeing to anything with that attitude. You won't get any thanks for it and it will open the floodgates for a load more unreasonable behaviour. These people see 'reasonableness' as weakness.

Same on the finance threads. Crazy

How old is your DD? Is she a child? I would report a 40 year old man for shouting at and intimidating a child on her own doorstep

The way posters speak with such authority and be so utterly wrong would be hilarious, but the same posters are all over the DV and family court threads giving dangerous information…

I have a very similar leylandi hedge/trees between me and neighbour, I planted the trees around two sides of my garden one of which is on the path side. I get it trimmed every year and always send the man in next door to knock and ask permission to trim it on their side, of course they agree! While I may not technically be responsible for cutting their side it seems only fair when it's my trees/hedge. It only costs an hour or so extra work for my guy to do it compared to the hassle of ndn having to find someone to do it and take away the stuff.

Can’t and won’t argue with stupid