Was my weekend guest rude?

Yeah, right! Easier said than done.

Saying 'thank god she left' about your hosts own child, to the host, is pretty damn rude regardless of experience with children. You think it, you don't say it.

Why did he visit?

Is he particularly skint to only pay for pay for your starters? Good manners would dictate to (offer to) pay for both meals out, and maybe a takeaway. Did he bring a gift?

I wonder why they came to visit at all??
It drives me crazy when people look at their phones constantly at dinner or during a visit. It does send a clear message that the company they are in is boring them and they need a distraction.
If you care about this friendship, I would ask them if everything was OK given how distracted they were. If not, don't bother with the tight fisted, rude git!

I would probably distance myself from him after that, and i definitely would not invite him back.

When OP said 'new friend (for her)' I assumed she meant friend of OP's that the daughter's not met before so new to the daughter, not that he's actually a new friend for the daughter. Framing a 40 odd year old man as a new friend for a small child would be a bit weird so I'd hope it wasn't that 😬.

He sounds ignorant and is lacking in social skills. Chalk it up to experience and don't have him stay again!

Yes rude, I’d let her off for finding it difficult to interact with your child if she hadn’t then made those comments.
Shes not a friend I’d be keeping up with after this.

What was the reason for the visit? It does sound rude and like they lack social skills . I wouldn't expect an effusive thank you for every meal during a stay but a quick thank you would be normal and being available to chat is normal ,though having phone near by and occasional checking is fine. Not sure why you told your child they had a new friend coming as that's clearly not the case ,it's your friend and I'd of tried to distract my child from too much chatter towards them. I wouldn't expect a guest to buy me a neal out as it's my choice to host them and how.

I wouldn't be inviting him back.

Yes they sound rude and I wouldn’t invite them again.

Very rude not to say thank you for the meals, and only paying for the appetizers when you fed him all weekend was tight (unless he's short of money in which case fair enough).

Reasonable to struggle with a talkative child (I have one of those and struggle at times myself), but rude to say he's glad she's gone out.

I actually think YABU about the phone use. YWNBU of it was a one day visit, but three days is a long time to maintain polite conversation. Absolutely fair enough to disappear into the phone or a book for a while when you're just hanging around the house or in the car. You said yourself it was "any free moment". Different if it was over a meal.

The usual bits are rude

The child thing no, no one should be rude to child but unless you are staying somewhere because of a child then they to me are in addition so if natural interaction fine but forced/fakeness does not work

I thought this before and since having a child of my own, I love my child but I totally get others are not children people

if you are that annoyed by other people's children- and personally I am not mad keen on them- then do as I do and don't stay over with people who have children. I have a friend who had a baby 15 years after me. I was over the toddler stage by then, so I just didn't stay with her.

Not saying thank you and being on their phone all the time is rude. Not wanting to chat to your daughter all the time is perfectly understandable, especially for a child free male in their early 40s.

I have 2 children and plenty of friends and family with children. None of them will constantly talk at a visiting grown up. I would get quite annoyed if I went to see a friend and was expected to engage with their child constantly.

All that “they” stuff was very distracting, why hide that he was a male? It’s simply information. Yes he was rude.

Before mobile phones, it was very common to pick up a book or a magazine when staying with friends and completely ignore what was going on around you. Many a friend would pick up a Yellow Pages or a medical reference book and would be randomly turning pages from dawn to dusk.

I wouldn’t invite him again.

Incredibly rude and ungracious. I would never invite him over again. Make an effort, fgs.And don't tell kids to leave in their own house.

But if you know you hate this stuff, and you know your friend has a young child, would you go and stay for three days? I mean, you’re kind of signing up to spend some time being annoyed by a little kid if you decide to spend all weekend at the kid’s house monopolising their parents.

The comments alone about my child leaving would have been enough for me. I'd have cut the visit short.

They sound ghastly!

Being on the phone is rude.

Other people's children are really annoying though. And I have a child and a grandchild that I love to bits. Rather not spend time with other people's children though if I can avoid it and I hate it when you go round to see adult friends and it becomes all about their kids. I am polite to them and will show a little interest but I don't want to converse with them for ages or play with them or, god forbid, watch a fucking terrible play or dance routine.