Was my weekend guest rude?

I doubt an 'old person' would try and put Playdoh in your hair, climb on you like you're playground equipment, wipe their snot on your jeans etc etc.

By her own admission the guest tried to be nice to the child but the problem (as so often on here) is that parents think that others should worship their offspring like they do. Not gonna happen.

Yes, really rude. They were not ‘in the room’ with you.

Could be nervous about their visit or struggle with social interaction but if they do, they need to practice not revert to burying their head in interaction beyond you.

Rude ungrateful behaviour all round by your entitled friend! I would make that the last time you host him.

I'm sorry you found the weekend difficult. You start off by saying you hosted 'a friend' and then talk about 'they' and 'their phones'. How many friends and how many phones :-)?

It is now early Tuesday morning and she/they spent three nights over the weekend with you; I bet you anything you will soon receive a note or a message thanking you for your hospitality, that is the usual etiquette. It's too soon after the event for you to be complaining.

It's possible your friend or friends were not at ease staying in someone else's home and did not quite know how to behave. That isn't unusual, it can be extremely stressful and a great relief to get home, no matter how nice the hosts. I doubt very much if friend(s) meant any offence and would probably be mortified to know you are not happy.

One night would probably have been enough and maybe more casual..

Put it behind you now.

But yeah if someone was like that about my daughter that would be the worst bit,

Yes all of it was rude. I'd still be friends with him, but never have them in my house again.

Super rude. We’ve just had guests and encouraged them to help themselves food wise and they also arranged / cooked food. How did they just pay for appetiser? Surely they should have paid whole dinner. They sound rude and cheap

What was the purpose of the visit though? Were they staying because they needed somewhere to stay whilst in town? Or was it a specific visit to see you and spend time with you. When someone visits me because they need somewhere to stay I don't expect them to give me full attention all the time, on the assumption that no one wants to interact all day long and they need time off. 3 days is a long time to engage with someone. Maybe they were expecting things to be a bit more casual and to sort out their own meals? I wouldn't get caught up over someone not saying thank you if they were my friend.

Phone, yes really rude. Would have to have said something.

Child, not so much. I can remember feeling that little children were aliens before we had ours. Wouldn’t have been unpleasant to any but certainly wouldn’t have known how to engage.

You’ve just outgrown each other for the time being.

Sorry, not really directly relevant to the OP but was just thinking about the whole ‘don’t like kids’ thing that we see a lot on MN.

I agree .

what age is the friend OP

I know that some people don’t like children and I accept that, but imagine if people said the same thing about other life stages. Imagine if people said ‘I don’t like old people’. That would be weird, wouldn’t it? Or if someone didn’t want to come to your house because your elderly relative was there, on the grounds that they might repeat themselves, talk about boring things, or are a messy eater.

Is this a couple as in ‘they’ or just a man in his early 40s. Not that it makes too much difference yes rude. Sitting scrolling on your phone in company is rude. Should have said thanks for the meals and could have at least paid for one takeaway. Hope your daughter wasn’t upset by being ignored.

I’d like more info too OP - 3 days seems like a long stay for a first time overnight guest. How long have you known your friend?

When you say they never thanked you for a meal what do you mean? What exactly DID they say when you put dinner under their nose?

I'm not sure about the phone use. If just hanging about at someone's house. Depending on if they didn't make an effort to talk to you and fannied about on the phone instead, all the time. Amusing yourself with something be it a phone, book, game or gadget while not much else is going on, is fair enough for some time at least. I agree not if it was constant however.

Urgh they behaved like a teenager

I agree with this. Very rude. Should have bought you a gift too.
I'd like more information however! How long have you known this person? Has anything like this happened before or any signs that it might? Did he seem happy about the pending visit?

I will add that I female early 40s, have little experience with children and am quite awkward around them. I've been blessed recently to have become close to a little girl who is a friends niece, and she has taught me a lot! But generally, I'm not sure what to say or do eith children, what is age appropriate to be like with them etc.

But and it is a big but! Children tend to like me and want to spend time with me which I like, and I make the damn effort for them! Even if I get it slightly wrong at times. My awkwardness/lack of experience is my issue, nobody else's. I certainly would make the effort as a guest at one's house and I most definitely wouldn't be rude about a child to its parent. That is beyond rude, and classless. Who does this man think he is?!

I'm glad your daughter didn't seem to notice the attitude toward her.

Other people's kids are a pain and interrupt conversations relentlessly which is tedious. However to comment on this to you is thoughtless.

The endless phone use and lack of gratitude is rude.

Drop them like a hot potato and move on.

All day long for three days is a bit much though. And what OP describes is a quiet moment - hanging around the house or in the car.

As you and your husband cooked for the majority of the 3 days, it wouldn't have hurt if your guest had paid for dinner, rather than just starters. If your friend had been staying in a hotel for 3 nights, it would have cost her much more than the price of starters! Spending time on her phone is rude, especially if it was consistent. As for your child, some people are not 'child orientated' and find interacting with them awkward and difficult. She tried, but clearly didn't find the experience thrilling!! The comments were probably meant light-hearted, and may be it was a way of her expressing the fact she found it awkward. Even so, she should have kept her mouth shut.

3 nights is along time to host anyone especially for the first time when you have no idea about what they are like to live with.

Simply don't have them back ever again and don't host again for 3 days.

Very rude on many levels and mean.
Would never be repeated.
Bet they ask again though.

The comment about your child is unacceptable.
I certainly wouldn't host them again.

Really? Why bother visiting then? In a quiet moment, yes. But surely you visit people to hang out with them? Otherwise you might as well stay at home.

He was very rude. It costs nothing to say thank you and be appreciative about meals someone cooks for you. He should have bought you a present or offered to pay for one of your meals out in entirety.

I get what people are saying about other people's children and it would have been annoying if he'd arranged a lunch out and you turned up with a small child without telling him, but he was staying in your house. What are you supposed to do with her? Extremely rude to make comments about her when she left the room/house.

Some looking at your phone is understandable over a weekend. It can be difficult to maintain chitchat for that length of time. However, constantly scrolling and ignoring you and your husband is very rude too.

I think it tells you all you need to know about this friend.