Was my weekend guest rude?

They are a poor guest but I think you were a bit off to have thought they would be thrilled to hang out with your kid so enthusiastic.

I love my kid. I love my friends kids. But when I visit my friend, its to hang out with them, not their kid, and I'd expect parents to allow say 10 mins of chat and then redirect their child the same way as I do mine. Yes, it's the child's home first and foremost, but boundaries still apply. Your guest is absolutely not a new friend for them and expectations should have been set.

Aside from that, your friend sounds like they used you for a place to stay or they were low key pissed off and checked out. They were on very poor and rude form.

Why is the guest’s sex relevant? Are men and women supposed to have different manners.

YANBU OP your guest was rude. Making the bed and buying an appetiser? No big deal either of these! You have to unmake the bed to wash the bedding, and they should’ve bought you a whole meal!

Incredibly rude and not a ‘friend’ you need in your life. The excessive phone use is incredibly rude. Not interacting kindly with your child was appalling - you don’t have to have children yourself to be able to spend a bit of time playing nicely or having a chat with one. You fed and watered her all weekend - did she even offer to help or do the dishes? The least she should have done was pay for your whole meal when you went out, either lunch or dinner depending on her finances. She was getting 3 nights of accommodation and food from
you for free! The thought of just offering to pay for the appetiser makes me cringe and is tight af. I would be distancing myself from
someone like this, she’s a user and she won’t get any better.

Definitely not someone who understands how to be a good guest, which is not rocket science - thank and praise whatever is offered (within reason) and be available (within reason) to socialise when you're hosts are not otherwise occupied. Also recognise that most parents prefer only to hear positive comments about their children, even though this person probably was exhausted by interacting with your DD. I wouldn't invite them again, but best not to bear a grudge because I doubt that any offence was intended.

All of it was rude. Although I can understand him not wanting to spend a lot of time with your child saying "thank god she left, that’s exhausting!” Is damnably rude and I think I might reply with something like "that's probably what we will say when you leave"

He sounds like an entitled twat. Having guests is exhausting. You went out of your way and so did your partner. Basic manners are required.

When my child was not present, they would make comments like “thank god she left, that’s exhausting!”

I think that's really rude. I am not great at talking to other people's children. But I wouldn't ever comment like that, especially if I was staying in the child's home.

If you stay at someone's house and they have children expecting them to be in your face is highly likely.
When you stay somewhere you have to take into account of thr situation or tell them to bugger off to a hotel.
To make comments is so no parenting mentality...especially given the over use of the phone.
To no thank you is rude.
Tell them next time to get a hotel when they mention there stay!.
Bugger all that.

He paid for your appetisers? - what a tight arse.

They sound rude. Rude not to say thank you and rude to ignore you to play games on a phone. I get not everyone is good with kids, and maybe they found that challenging but they knew your kids were gonna be there, and commenting that they’re “glad it’s over” and that they’re “exhausting” is just…well, rude! Personally, I wouldn’t invite them over again.

Was this a friendship from before DP/DC when you were single?

Agree with the annoying concealment of friend's gender. Just an unnecessary distraction that leads to oddly worded post.

Oh it's a man. If anything, I think men are even more awkward when staying at a friend's house.

Your partner doing so much cooking over the weekend sounds like very hard work, op. Why did you not do some? However you did go out twice for meals. It's better to do less formal cooking when you have a guest. For a start, he (I now realise it was a 'he' and certainly not 'they' as there was only one of him), would have had to get up for breakfast rather than wandering into the kitchen at will and putting on some some toast and coffee. I always hated having to be up and dressed for the day on a weekend.

I don’t know where your from op, maybe America as you said appetiser. Not that it matters as your friend has bad manners regardless of where they are from. I would have said something. How long have you known them and how? That would be end of the friendship for me.

They would have got scathing sarcasm about being on their phone like a teen but your going bald Dave from me.

Glad it wasn’t just me 🥴🙄
…. yes he was very rude

He accepted your hospitality for a week, and he paid for the appetiser when you went out to dinner. Tight git. He should have offered to take you out to dinner and paid for the lot. He'd be an ex friend if I were you.

He sounds bloody awful. I definitely wouldn't be extending any invitations in the future 😳

*he

Oh god, why is she your friend?

Oh dear...
Guess he's single?

Don't go and stay in their house then. Simple. The OP's guest chose to come.

Having read your update @KerryBay, I'd have no issues whatsoever in laying it out for your friend and telling him that

• not saying thank you when you're presented with a hot meal at breakfast, lunch and dinner is just rude
• Having prepared him for how talkative your daughter would likely be and meeting him would be her making a new friend (not a best buddy thing but no longer a stranger either) and when he called her 'exhausting' that was rude
• He should have asked if you wanted the bed he stayed in stripped and the sheets put in the laundry or if you actually wanted him to make the bed - he took the easy way out there. You probably had to strip the bed after he stayed in it.
• He should have put his hand in his pocket more than once and an appetiser is the cheapest part of the meal. He could have bought the wine as well (if there was wine) but he didn't.

Sounds like the behaviour of a poorly socialised teen. Yes kids are exhausting but you don't need to make those comments to their parents, and as a guest you need to make a little bit of effort. Sounds like he wasn't overly interested in talking to any of you though, and not offering to help with or pay for meals is also appalling and ungrateful. I would be distancing myself from him after that.

YANBU but it's not uncommon for some men to think that they don't have to put themselves out or inconvenience themselves for others. Lots are lovely, sociable and have excellent manners but, if so inclined, men in general get away with prioritising themselves and their needs and wants to a far greater degree that women do. There's an expectation from some that others are around to serve and facilitate them, rather than meeting in the middle.

They treated your house, your home, like an AirBnB and not like staying over with a friend and all that entails.

If they ask to stay with you again (and not knowing where you live but it's possible if you live near a popular attraction/in a city), I'd decline and tell them why. You could say that you didn't think they enjoyed staying with you as they found your child 'exhausting' and they didn't seem to appreciate having a hot meal cooked for them either along with them being on their phones a lot when they were with you, so you actually don't want them staying with you whatever about them.
Tell them that there is an actual AirBnB (if you know where one is in your locality) and they are welcome to book there, and you'll check your availability if they are coming to town to meet up without your child.