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AIBU?

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About neighbours complaining about children's noise

93 replies

OnNaturesCourse · 16/09/2024 23:05

Lived in a terraced house, two shared walls in our living space, one neighbor on one side and new ones on the other. We have suspended floors, and laminate flooring. Despite it being a long term rental I am reluctant to replace the flooring with underlay and carpet.

Our relatively new neighbours have been banging through our shared wall from the first few weeks of them moving in. I always assumed it was DIY/moving noises as at the times there wasn't a lot of noise in my house. Then one night the neighbors came to my door complaining that they were sick of hearing my kids banging around from early morning until night, and that on that particular day they had been hearing it since 7am and it was now 6pm. They also shouted that they were occasional shift workers and I should respect that. I had a problem with the statement about the kids noise having been all day that day as my kids slept until after 8, and were out the house 11am until half 5pm. I explained this but the neighbors refused to accept it and a arguement started to break out. I closed the door in the end as I didn't want shouted at it.

Since then I have been super alert to any noise my kids make, and I have been more aware of any times they are maybe a bit heavy footed or run in the house. I have found myself constantly saying shh, soft feet, don't crawl around and thump, stop playing with certain toys on the floor etc. It got to the point the kids couldn't do anything in the living area and yet the neighbours were still banging through - even sometimes when the kids were actually in bed.

I have invested in a large, thick rug to try and help but apparently it has not.

Now when the kids play upstairs the neighbors occasionally bang through too. Even when they are in the garden the neighbours will loudly announce that they are going inside as the noise makes it impossible to relax.

I am friendly with my other neighbors in the street, and my other joining neighbours love my kids and have stated they rarely hear them in the house. Through these neighbourly relationships I have found out my new neighbours are complaining about us to others and have went as far to say that we have ruined their move and enjoyment of the area.

My kids are 7 and 3, they do make noise I don't deny that but not to the extent where I would think it antisocial even before I put in all the measures I have (new rug, no playing in livingroom, no playing outside after 5pm, quiet toys only in their rooms, alexa and audio no higher than volume 3, no more audio books in the morning in bed etc) They are in bed from, at the latest, 8pm until atleast 7am as standard and will sleep later on weekends.

I'm living in total fear of noise in my own house. It's ridiculous.

My previous neighbor never complained in the 6 years I was here before they left.

Ironically my new neighbors have tradesman in just now for over a week and it sounds like they are bringing the joining wall down, and they have taken to moving furniture in the bedrooms between 10 & midnight. But I just roll my eyes and crack on, I'm in a terraced house I expect some noise from general living next door.

AIBU to expect my neighbors to extend the same curtesy to me? If not what else can I do to keep the noise down but still live normally?

OP posts:
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stopbeingnasty · Yesterday 13:18

MouseofCommons · 17/09/2024 09:02

Your neighbours are the problem here. My idiot neigbours used to bang on the wall when my child had a meltdown.

How are they idiots for being disturbed? It seems you may have never experienced noise nuisance

Razordogz · 31/05/2025 21:32

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Tortielady · 21/09/2024 10:29

If there's something about the house's structure that affects the acoustics, it's hard to see what more you could possibly do. I live in a solid brick terrace and sometimes hear the little girl next door (no more often than she hears me bellowing Language at our hooligan ginger tom.) Even councils with a strict approach to noise will tend to take a different view of construction noise, or rowdy parties as opposed to rambunctious children. I would follow the excellent advice given here about keeping a diary of the neighbour's behaviour as it sounds as if it amounts to harassment. How can your children possibly be responsible for noise that happens when they are asleep or not even in the house?

OnNaturesCourse · 20/09/2024 22:11

Funny that's pretty much what my landlord has said on the matter.

Tenant of over 6 years with no complaints...until they moved in

OP posts:
Scottsy200 · 20/09/2024 20:38

Tell them to go buy a detached house in the middle of nowhere if they want complete silence

Saschka · 18/09/2024 15:59

angstypant · 18/09/2024 14:40

@Saschka

I took great delight in telling her I couldn’t here her knocking because we were on holiday in Germany, and had been for the past week, so whoever’s baby she was hearing, it certainly wasn’t DS.
Fantastic. What did they say??

Not much, I’ve never known her admit she was wrong. It was satisfying for me but it didn’t make her turn over a new leaf or anything.

Musiclover234 · 18/09/2024 14:49

I mean be considerate but children and families make noise. That can’t be helped! Don’t tip toe round just be mindful if it’s loads of early or whatever but bloody well live life.

Twinklefloss · 18/09/2024 14:46

*I shouldn’t use the bomb as a metaphor as the terrace was bomb damaged in ww2 and possibly why the soundproofing was variable along the row

Twinklefloss · 18/09/2024 14:45

we used to live in an old terraced house and a bomb could go off* on one side and you wouldn’t hear it but the other side you could just about make out exactly what people were saying at normal conversational level. So don’t assume that noise is travelling equally.

It sounds like something weird is going on with the acoustics for them to be banging when dc asleep or out - maybe get landlord to liaise with them as it sounds like you’re doing your best and don’t deserve to be shouted at.

pinkyredrose · 18/09/2024 14:40

angstypant · 18/09/2024 14:34

What, so noisy that the neighbours can hear them even when the kids are not home?

Good point

angstypant · 18/09/2024 14:40

@Saschka

I took great delight in telling her I couldn’t here her knocking because we were on holiday in Germany, and had been for the past week, so whoever’s baby she was hearing, it certainly wasn’t DS.
Fantastic. What did they say??

angstypant · 18/09/2024 14:34

pinkyredrose · 17/09/2024 10:16

Do you think your kids may be noisier than you think they are?

What, so noisy that the neighbours can hear them even when the kids are not home?

angstypant · 18/09/2024 14:33

GingerPirate · 17/09/2024 10:03

Glad I don't live in a "terraced house".
Can't stand children's noise.

Or dick neighbours who bang and complain about non existent noise

angstypant · 18/09/2024 14:31

Nw22 · 17/09/2024 09:00

I think you are probably underestimating how bad your children’s noise is for your neighbours and you shoudl at least sort the floors. As a pp said living next to noise is horrible and will be causing them a lot of stress

Pretty hard for the kids to be making noise when a) they are asleep at the time of the banging or b) they are out at the time being complained about

Saschka · 18/09/2024 01:27

User019715 · 17/09/2024 20:37

I live next door to a 3 year old and it is terrible when he is running doing laps of the house but I have never discussed with the neighbours as they get him out all day and it's generally restricted to 7pm-9pm. Plus I hope he will grow out of it. In your situation I am confused what noise are the neighbours hearing when your children are in bed? I don't believe they would be getting worked up about non-existent noise.

I can easily believe they are getting worked up about non-existent noise. My former next door neighbour hammered on the door to complain about the noise, and then phoned me up when we didn’t hear her banging.

I took great delight in telling her I couldn’t here her knocking because we were on holiday in Germany, and had been for the past week, so whoever’s baby she was hearing, it certainly wasn’t DS.

Our downstairs neighbour claimed never to hear us, and stroppy NDN used to have loud ABBA karaoke parties in the garden herself until 3am, but apparently we had to suck that up.

hellacool · 17/09/2024 23:52

When they complain next, you just have to politely explain to them that you have done all that you can to limit the noise and that if it isn't adequate for them, to take it up with the council (councils do not investigate noise from children).

OnNaturesCourse · 17/09/2024 23:44

User019715 · 17/09/2024 20:37

I live next door to a 3 year old and it is terrible when he is running doing laps of the house but I have never discussed with the neighbours as they get him out all day and it's generally restricted to 7pm-9pm. Plus I hope he will grow out of it. In your situation I am confused what noise are the neighbours hearing when your children are in bed? I don't believe they would be getting worked up about non-existent noise.

I honestly don't know what they are hearing.

Their neighbours on the other side have children that stay occasionally but I don't see how they'd confuse noise sides except maybe in the gardens over the summer.

Our adjoining wall is solid, and I have been told it is a double brick wall with insulation in between. Something to do with how the houses were built there was this fire/safety wall put in every few houses in the rows. I don't know if the brick and gap is making it easier for noise to transfer maybe especially with the suspended flooring

OP posts:
OnNaturesCourse · 17/09/2024 23:38

FatFuck · 17/09/2024 20:22

Do the new neighbours have children? If its just them too, they will barely make any noise.

is their wall an adjoining wall or is it the chimney side? I live in a terrace, i can hear neighbours on the plain wall but cannot hear anything chimney side. The walls with chimneys are thicker.

look youve got to live your lives. Yes be mindful but you have kids fgs. Theres going to be noise. Mention it to landlord and keep a diary. Report him too if hes doing house renovations out of hours. Hes got more to lose as it will affect him when selling in the future. Dont worry about neighbours, just be you. They will be on your side

They haw 5 teenage/adult children who don't live at home anymore. None of who made a peep growing up apparently as he could control them... His words. Poor kids, I wonder why his teenagers flew the nest quickly...

OP posts:
CutthroatDruTheViolent · 17/09/2024 23:14

CrispieCake · 17/09/2024 19:00

Ironically my new neighbors have tradesman in just now for over a week and it sounds like they are bringing the joining wall down, and they have taken to moving furniture in the bedrooms between 10 & midnight.

Make sure to record any more building noise.

Then if they come round again, play it to them and say "This is your building noise. This is what we've been listening to for all hours of the day, including between 10pm and midnight. This is what woke my children. And you have the nerve to complain about my children walking about and playing in their own home during normal daytime hours. Go away please and don't bother us again."

This is a good idea.

Incidentally, you're a rental and it sounds like they're buyers - any dispute they have they'll have to declare if they decide to move so it's unlikely they'll go down any official channels. Doing the above will tell them you're not scared of their pathetic behaviour and will take action if necessary.

Good luck. Don't let them intimidate you.

ThisBlueCrab · 17/09/2024 21:28

Terraced house here too with one side amazing neighbours who claim to never hear us and arsehole ones the other side who used to moan incessantly when I first moved in when dd was 6.

Mostly they used to moan about my dog barking. It used to have me paranoid because they would message and I would check the cameras (I have internal and external) and dog would be absolutely sparko. Cameras are motion activated so I can see if dog has been moving about. It had me beside myself until they screamed at me in the street one day about it. The only issue was that I had been away for 3 days and the dog had been with my parents 3 miles away. Neighbour got told firmly she could piss off with her batshit complaints.

Funnily enough she hasn't moaned since.

As long as your kids aren't screaming constantly they cam bugger off, normal noise is allowed and in the same way as flats, terraces are renowned for noise travelling.

PhilsMajicHat · 17/09/2024 21:19

I am in the position of your neighbours, their kids crash about and run around for hours. We also have suspended floors, and when the kids jump off the furniture I feel the shake in my floors. I have not and will not say anything to them, but living next to them can be hell at times, even where the is no noise I am just waiting for it to start up again.

plans are being made to move, but will take some time 😕

Miniopolis · 17/09/2024 21:15

If they own, then they have a lot more to lose than you if an official dispute happens. I’d say they’re pretty close to harassment with the wall banging as well. Maybe it might be helpful for them to become aware of that.

Maria1979 · 17/09/2024 21:04

ForeverPombear · 17/09/2024 10:14

I had neighbours like this the only difference is I didn't have children and it was just me living there. They complained about noise all the time coming from my house, even when I was at work and the house was empty. They came around and bashed on the front door at 11pm one night complaining about the tv noise, my TV wasn't on I had been sat on the sofa reading a book.

🤣🤣🤣 Excellent. Maybe they are the ones who moved in next to OP?

OP these neighbours are not worth it. No need to try to please them, they will always complain. Let your children live normally, stop being afraid of bothering your neighbours, they are the ones bothering you. They sound awful. Do speak to council about their behaviour.

Redruby2020 · 17/09/2024 21:00

I understand how you feel, when my new neighbour moved in below me, when my child would tantrum make lots of noise upon me coming home, they would ring my bell.
But it's ok that we have to be disturbed on the nights her bf chooses to come here, when he is just a visitor, and then you might have your own child in bed.
Your neighbours would love my neighbours child then, as at weekends and holidays the youngest is crashing up and down until anywhere up until 11pm or later.

I say the same as others have, get on with your life, they have a cheek. Very controlling.
Unfortunately most houses are old and this creates many issues.

I heard of one persons scenario who lives in a small block and it's concrete internally apparently, I was thinking oh that must be good, as they were saying it helped.

Carrotmccarrotface · 17/09/2024 20:52

OnNaturesCourse · 17/09/2024 00:04

Can I / is it reasonable to complain to the council about their banging? The thought didn't even cross my mind but now I think if they wake my toddler up again I may just go down that route.

I discussed it with the council. They told me that unless stood in their flat the noise was like standing on a busy road junction, tell them to “get to, get to, well just tell
them to get lost love!”

Neighbours are being dicks and are harassing you. Children have a right to play which is enshrined in UN law. Register a complaint against them.