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Original poster

Who is BU? Kids had noro, their dad is refusing to take them to school

292 replies

biohazardservant · 16/09/2024 20:22

I'll try to keep it brief -

Kids came down with noro on Thur-sat. No symptoms since late sat evening.

One child puked on me. I'm now having noro symptoms and am physically too unwell to take them to school in the morning due to vomiting.

Their dad and I don't live together. He has a new baby with his new girlfriend. He's refusing point blank to take the kids to school in case the baby catches it and won't listen when I say the kids are now absolutely fine.

School is saying they must go in tomorrow if they're no longer ill.

I don't have anyone else to ask.

Genuinely can't tell if I'm BU at the moment or if he is.

OP posts:
Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:57

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:56

Hazmat suits for the kids?

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😂

Maybe he has friends or family who could take the kids to school?

GingerPirate · 16/09/2024 21:56

From another bucket - norovirus?
That only survives in temperatures below zero.
Unless it "mutated".

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:56

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:55

He needs to try to come up with another solution? Not just leave the onus on his children's ill mum?

Edited
Show quote history

Hazmat suits for the kids?

mellowfell · 16/09/2024 21:55

I would have added an extra day saying they vomited last on Sunday instead of Saturday. Your ex is being reasonable and yabu to risk it being passed onto a newborn. You should have known that what your children get will pass onto you and should have fiddled around with the last d/v days.

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:55

Leah5678 · 16/09/2024 21:54

Look usually I'm the first to call out a deadbeat but what do you want him to do? Expose his baby to noro virus (very dangerous for babies) even if the kids re over it the mum still has it and they all live together so will carry her germs on their clothes.

Somebody mentioned a taxi but I don't think 7 year olds can travel in a taxi alone

They'll just have to have a day home

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He needs to try to come up with another solution? Not just leave the onus on his children's ill mum?

Leah5678 · 16/09/2024 21:54

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:51

Well that's another point - who wants such recently pukey children in their car with them?

But the OP is ill, and really the kids' father needs to step up, in some shape or form. He's got 3 kids, not just a baby.

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Look usually I'm the first to call out a deadbeat but what do you want him to do? Expose his baby to noro virus (very dangerous for babies) even if the kids re over it the mum still has it and they all live together so will carry her germs on their clothes.

Somebody mentioned a taxi but I don't think 7 year olds can travel in a taxi alone

They'll just have to have a day home

dreamer24 · 16/09/2024 21:54

Sorry OP but I don't think he's being unreasonable here. I'd not be taking that risk either with a newborn to consider. As others have said, keep them off another day.

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:52

Sickalready · 16/09/2024 21:52

You can’t risk a newborn. Keep your dc off an extra day or ask the school for help

The school isn't going to help.

Sickalready · 16/09/2024 21:52

You can’t risk a newborn. Keep your dc off an extra day or ask the school for help

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:51

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:49

Well, if the OP's kids do go to school tomorrow, they may well soon be kept busy vomiting repeatedly themselves.

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Well that's another point - who wants such recently pukey children in their car with them?

But the OP is ill, and really the kids' father needs to step up, in some shape or form. He's got 3 kids, not just a baby.

Londonrach1 · 16/09/2024 21:51

This is difficult. A new baby with noro. No way I'd expose my baby to that. Message school and explain you very ill. Hope you feeling better soon

Raspberryripple11 · 16/09/2024 21:51

To be fair you need to leave 48 hours between last symptoms and returning to school so they should’ve been off today anyway.
Norovirus in a baby could be very dangerous so I think he’s sensible to not want to risk bringing it home.
Can any friends/neighbours/other family drop them off in the morning? Just make sure they wash their hands before they leave the house.

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:51

alpacachino · 16/09/2024 21:48

His partner has just had a baby and you think he should move out for a few days????

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No, I don't really think this.

diddl · 16/09/2024 21:50

Tbh if they were last ill Sat & now Op has it I'd probably have been thinking of keeping them off today & tomorrow anyway.

Codlingmoths · 16/09/2024 21:50

I’d say to school I’m too sick to take them, but please send these reminders to their dad who is refusing to take them.

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:49

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:46

Do you not think the teachers have other things to do other than transport children?

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Well, if the OP's kids do go to school tomorrow, they may well soon be kept busy vomiting repeatedly themselves.

soupfiend · 16/09/2024 21:49

I wouldnt have thought teachers are allowed or even able to transport children

OP is being completely unreasonable

And how exactly is school 'on your case', in what way, 20 phone calls today, someone banging on the door, texts messages all day?

They're not able to come in, full stop. If they were ill on Friday, chances are they were still ill Saturday, so at best only well enough to go back tomorrow, not today

And they cant come in tomorrow.

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:49

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:47

Maybe he could come stay in the OP's house to take the kids to school so he doesn't have to go home to the baby?

Though he'd probably catch it himself then and having a vomiting ex in close proximity for multiple days is probably not going to aid the OP's recovery.

Look, I'm usually amongst those calling out deadbeat dads (and he may well one judging by what the OP has said). But if you're balancing a couple of days more off school for children who are probably still infectious against a tiny baby potentially ending up in hospital or worse, the sensible outcome is surely clear to most people.

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What about the OP though? She's going to be minding two children feeling like death?

alpacachino · 16/09/2024 21:48

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:47

Maybe he could come stay in the OP's house to take the kids to school so he doesn't have to go home to the baby?

Though he'd probably catch it himself then and having a vomiting ex in close proximity for multiple days is probably not going to aid the OP's recovery.

Look, I'm usually amongst those calling out deadbeat dads (and he may well one judging by what the OP has said). But if you're balancing a couple of days more off school for children who are probably still infectious against a tiny baby potentially ending up in hospital or worse, the sensible outcome is surely clear to most people.

Show quote history

His partner has just had a baby and you think he should move out for a few days????

Pandasnacks · 16/09/2024 21:48

@ncforthis2024 they don't have 'atleast 72hours' symptom free, they were ill Thursday-Saturday. So end of today is 48 hours.

MissMoneyFairy · 16/09/2024 21:48

Maybe he didn't want contact with op, didnt want to be in the house, she still has d&v, presumably gets kids ready for school, he might not want to expose his baby to any risk which I fully understand, I'd have kept them off school .

alpacachino · 16/09/2024 21:47

Why is the school on your back? Term has just started

DDivaStar · 16/09/2024 21:47

They've got a new baby of course they're being cautious. Even if probably unnecessary.

You didn't actually need to tell the school they're fine until you had confirmed how you were getting them there. Another day or 2 wong do any real harm.

Goldbar · 16/09/2024 21:47

Runnerinthenight · 16/09/2024 21:43

There's other ways he could deal with it surely?

Show quote history

Maybe he could come stay in the OP's house to take the kids to school so he doesn't have to go home to the baby?

Though he'd probably catch it himself then and having a vomiting ex in close proximity for multiple days is probably not going to aid the OP's recovery.

Look, I'm usually amongst those calling out deadbeat dads (and he may well one judging by what the OP has said). But if you're balancing a couple of days more off school for children who are probably still infectious against a tiny baby potentially ending up in hospital or worse, the sensible outcome is surely clear to most people.

ncforthis2024 · 16/09/2024 21:47

PixieLaLar · 16/09/2024 21:28

This!
How selfish and bitter you come across, he’s 100% doing the right thing protecting his baby and girlfriend.

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Ridiculous.

The OP is not ‘exposing a new baby to Norovirus’ FFS. She is asking the father of his two children to take them to school as she is unable to.

The children have at least 48 hours symptom free, are not in the house with the baby, and are not in any contact with the baby.

It’s a simple task of collecting two children who hop in the back of his car, and hop out at school. He can hand gel his hands if he’s so inclined. The children aren’t licking the bloody baby FGS.

He needs to learn to be there for his existing children and manage the complexities of a new family, not just ‘decline’ when conditions don’t suit. Those poor children.