Who is BU? Kids had noro, their dad is refusing to take them to school

What if the new baby was living in the same house?

But it isn't. You may as well say "what if the dad wasn't around at all, then OP would just have to manage".

Neither of those what ifs are relevant. You can only deal with the situation you're in.

Norovirus is the most common cause of stomach bugs in adults (according to the nhs).

It's also not always horrific. You can have noro and only vomit once or twice.

So if you have any kind of stomach bug as an adult, noro is a reasonable guess.
In children, rotavirus is more common, but less likely to be affecting OP this badly.

www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/stomach-liver-and-gastrointestinal-tract/gastroenteritis/

If at all possible I highly recommend vomiting through the school office. It is the school being unreasonable here.

It’s reasonable and sensible to not want to expose an infant to a highly contagious illness.

You don’t know that your children aren’t contagious. You also don’t know that they won’t your illness into their dad. You want them to not be, which is not the same thing.

I'm a single mum and was in this situation once where I couldn't physically take my DD to school. Pastoral care came and picked her up! At the end of the day if you are too sick to take them, you can't take them. Direct school to speak to their father rather than you.

I agree.
I think the OP is really cross with her ex who has started a family with someone else and dramatised the school response so we would all slag him off.

While I think he is right to try to protect his baby, his attitude in the text wasn't great or helpful.

But I think there is probably more to the whole story than we were told.

The 48 hours has passed and the children have been well since Saturday. The school don't necessarily know this, but there's no reason they can't be back at school aside from them not being able to get there. Plenty of precautions their dad could take which would mean OP could also get some rest to recover whilst they're at school, they're going to not see very much of him once the winter bugs and viruses kick in if he can't even face having them in the back of his car for 10 minutes to take them to school.

Some might, but this is not true for all schools. I doubt that any school would be insisting for kids who have recently had noro to be coming into school before the 48 hour rule , and even after the 48 hours if they are still unwell, I doubt they would be insisting this. Unless OPs kids have a history of poor attendance which is why she's apparently getting a hard time from them, I don't see why they would he difficiult about this.

OP hasnt been back

Posters are saying the schools 'response' is annoying or unreasaonble

I dont believe for one second the school has made any response to the OP, its highly unlikely there has been any 'insistence' that the children returned yesterday or even today.

OP has been unreasonable, hasnt liked it, has overegged what the school might say and now wont return.

It is very annoying that the school is taking this response.
With sickness bug you are meant to stay of school 48-72 hours after the last time you had symptoms.
This is to reduce spread. If I was a parent at your school and found out they were pressuring families to send in children before the quarantine time had passed I would be very very pissed off. All this achieves is risks staff, pupils and their families unnecessarily.

If I was your ex I would.not be risking both households becoming ill for no reason.
If the other parent deteriorated and needed hospital that would.be different but while the children can be taken care of there is little point spreading illness

I think your only option is to call the school and explain the situation.

He won't take them and your family and friends can't help due to distance or work commitments, so that really is the only option.

FWIW I'm a teacher and we are very understanding in this sort of situation. Lots of us are single parents too and have the same difficulties when we are unwell. The only way we'd be 'chasing' is if your kids had terrible attendance and there was a history of missing school for spurious reasons because then it has the potential to be a safeguarding issue.

.

If they have been fine since Saturday night then they should be in today and the risk to their dad and his baby will be miniscule IMO

call the school and explain. Or send them the screenshot. Not saying I think they should but I heard stories of schools picking kids up during Covid when parents were ill and kids had recovered

he does sound like an unhelpful twat.

Bollocks.

My niece had noro as a 4 month old exclusive breastfed baby. She ended up in hospital for over a week and we are flipping lucky she survived.

The standard guidance schools use is 48 hours after last symptoms, the last hospital I worked at due to staffing this was reduced to 24 hours; pure fantasy that the majority take longer than this off of school or work.

He could take them and isolate from the newborn. I had to do something similar when youngest got it at school. She and i separated from everyone else and it worked. I got ill but no one else did.

I didn't have a choice because I wasn't a part time "new family matters more" parent.

Eta....thinking more, if he has parental responsibility, why isn't he getting hassled by the school? The op can't opt out so why the hell can he?

Further to my previous post, I found this online:

"People infected with norovirus are contagious from the moment they begin feeling ill to at least 3 days after recovery. Some people may be contagious for as long as 2 weeks after recovery."

I think the school is unreasonable to say your kids must be back at school so quickly, even though children tend to bounce back more quickly than adults. However they only said it, can't insist.

The school are probably only sending the messages to prove that they have done their bit to get the kids in. the fact is that no member of staff will want them driven in by someone carrying active virus spores into school, but OFTSED will just want to tick the box that they are doing all they are required to do in order to get the kids in.

Ridiculous, but probably what it is all about.

I know, some men are just a walking disgrace! Though why you'd expect a man who wouldn't contribute to his kids' school shoes to step up in any way...

@biohazardservant I hope you all feel better soon x

And risk infecting the taxi driver?

Dunno, but the OP needs some sort of long-term solution to cover this kind of thing. What happens if her car breaks down?

Of course it sucks. But that's how the cookie crumbles. Lots of men get away with taking very little responsibility for their kids. Women are too often the default parents who get all the shit (literal and figurative) to deal with. I'm sure the OP isn't wrong that generally speaking he should step up, even if SIBU in this particular situation.

Pack them off in a taxi. If the driver is funny about it, get in said taxi with the kids, you don't have to be dressed or even washed. Bring a leak proof sick bag.

I've had to do this in the past. It's horrible but it was the only way to get ds to school, and he was absolutely fine, so really didn't need to stay off. And while the taxi ride was unpleasant, the quiet house was worth it

I don't think it will harm your children to have another couple of days off school, they are still very young. Though the symptoms of norovirus usually only last two days, people will not be properly well until after six days or so.

Given the circumstances, your illness and their dad not wanting to risk infection, I am pretty sure you would not be fined, op. That would be too mean for words, you have sound reasons.

I do hope you are all better and back to normal soon. Take good care of yourselves and good luck.

Don't send them in OP and don't feel bad about school. The teachers probably don't want them in infecting everyone else either, they're just forced to chase up nonattendance because it's one of those things that get monitored and they have to follow their process. If they say it's not authorised just say you understand and there's nothing you can do about it. Or if you think they're still in the infectious period or not feeling well enough say that.

I think for me it's the way he abnegated all responsibility for his children, and didn't attempt apparently to find another option to get them to school - while his ex is as sick as a dog minding their kids!

Tbf I wouldn't rely on antibodies either. My GP told me that my 11 week old baby wouldn't contract chicken pox because of my immunities and the antibodies in my breastmilk... she was wrong!