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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel insulted

31 replies

insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:03

I was in town today and browsing in a pharmacy/shop, and a member of staff approached me and asked if I would be interested in a free blood pressure check, which they're offering today. I thought why not? That could be useful to know.

I then went through the process to have this done and after I gave my DOB they said I'm not old enough as you need to be 40. I am only in my very early 30s!

It's really spoiled my day that the original woman thought I was 40+. Maybe I'm being pathetic but I feel like complaining to the shop as approaching people who are nowhere near 40 and assuming they are would upset people. AIBU

OP posts:
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KrisAkabusi · 16/09/2024 18:03

insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:35

Basically to suggest staff are told to be a bit more mindful when approaching people for age related checks, not just assuming their age and wording it in a better way.

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How would you word it? Given that they are going to ask you anyway and have to check you're over 40. What phrasing wouldn't insult you?

easylikeasundaymorn · 16/09/2024 17:57

you only need to look at some of the 'guess my age' threads on here to understand that many people are absolutely TERRIBLE at guessing ages.

Purpleraiin · 16/09/2024 17:52

insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:22

Thanks for the response. Yes hoping this was the case, but if managers are putting that pressure on staff to the extent it means they are risking insulting customers to meet numbers surely that needs to be addressed?

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From my experience they rarley care. If it's a big chain pharmacy and a customer emails in a complaint to head office, it may, or may not get passed down to the store manager. If it does make its way down the chain then I can honestly say I have never seen a manager take a complaint seriously. I've heard them mentioned for about 10 seconds in a quick morning group huddle then carry on like it was never mentioned. If its an idependant pharmacy then it's mentioned briefly before the pressuring is resumed. All they care about is numbers, targets, money.
If the ammount of pressuring can lead to errors/insults, then let the patient vote with their feet rather than reduce the pressuring seems to be the go too.....
I'd like to think that's not the case everywhere, but I'm a locum so have worked in many many Pharmacies, and that seems to be the general attitude in all the stores I've worked in.

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 16/09/2024 17:49

Rather than complain you could suggest that they find a more tactful way of phrasing the question. Someone said to me recently 'I'm sure you can't be anywhere near pension age, but if you were, you might be interested in this...' I was rather charmed (I'm not at pension age yet, but fast approaching). Maybe they could say when they get to the age question, 'Oh gosh I forgot about the age criterion. Sorry to have taken your time'.

TooMuchRedMaybe · 16/09/2024 17:49

Don’t complain. Everyone gets it wrong sometimes and we don’t need to have a society where every mistake becomes a complaint. Especially not when it comes to their livelihood.

These two guys for example are the same age. Who would a thunk?

To feel insulted
greenrollneck · 16/09/2024 17:47

Be nice if that's all I had to be offended and worried about. I'm sure they didn't mean too.

Molambulus · 16/09/2024 17:45

Moveoverdarlin · 16/09/2024 17:09

Don’t complain. It’s really hard to judge ages sometimes.

I think especially if you’re older.

It’s a weird thing, people younger than me all sort of look the same.

Everleigh13 · 16/09/2024 17:44

insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:42

No she was 50+ (and yes I know I'm assuming her age)...

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Ah, I see. Well try not to take it personally. I understand how it made you feel rubbish in the moment but it really isn’t a reflection of you. Perhaps she is really bad at guessing ages or she only caught a quick glimpse of you.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 16/09/2024 17:43

insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:42

No she was 50+ (and yes I know I'm assuming her age)...

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So am I, and as I said, I'm hopeless at guessing ages of younger people because everyone between 20 and 35 looks more or less the same age to me. 😐

Original poster
insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:42

Everleigh13 · 16/09/2024 17:41

Was it a young person who asked you? I think a lot of teens / early 20s are rubbish at guessing people’s ages. I know I was!

Edited

No she was 50+ (and yes I know I'm assuming her age)...

OP posts:
Everleigh13 · 16/09/2024 17:41

Was it a young person who asked you? I think a lot of teens / early 20s are rubbish at guessing people’s ages. I know I was!

Just4thisthreadtoday · 16/09/2024 17:40

insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:35

Basically to suggest staff are told to be a bit more mindful when approaching people for age related checks, not just assuming their age and wording it in a better way.

Show quote history

@insulted4

people are shit at guessing ages, stop taking it so personally!

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 16/09/2024 17:39

insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:37

Now I'm wondering what is it about me that makes me look 10 years older than I am? My clothes, posture, make up? I think a lot of women would be a bit upset if someone assumed they are 10 years older than they are?

It's not necessarily you.

In my experience most people struggle to accurately age anyone who is outside their own sphere of reference. I genuinely can't tell if most younger people are 20 or 30, and the same youngsters routinely tell me I'm 10-15 years younger than I am in reality.

Arctangent · 16/09/2024 17:38

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'd be fuming if someone assumed I was over 50!

I do think they are targeted on how many they do though, so it's likely they weren't being too discerning with who they ask.

DeCaray · 16/09/2024 17:38

Ask to see the manager. 😎

Original poster
insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:37

Now I'm wondering what is it about me that makes me look 10 years older than I am? My clothes, posture, make up? I think a lot of women would be a bit upset if someone assumed they are 10 years older than they are?

OP posts:
Original poster
insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:35

Paganpentacle · 16/09/2024 17:34

What would the nature of your complaint be?
Somebody misjudged your age?
Seriously.
WTAF...

Basically to suggest staff are told to be a bit more mindful when approaching people for age related checks, not just assuming their age and wording it in a better way.

OP posts:
EffortlesslyInelegant · 16/09/2024 17:35

Insulting would be if the pharmacist approached you and said 'By Christ you're ugly - can I recommend a surgeon friend of mine?'

That would be insulting. Your scenario is not.

Paganpentacle · 16/09/2024 17:34

What would the nature of your complaint be?
Somebody misjudged your age?
Seriously.
WTAF...

Skyrainlight · 16/09/2024 17:33

Don't complain, that's completely ridiculous. Get a grip.

Original poster
insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:30

What wrong with being over 40?

Nothing, but staff (who work for a big corporation that sells beauty products and anti aging skincare) are very tactless to assume people's age if they're not sure (and in this case insinuating I look about 10 years older!) I spend a lot of money there and this has put me right off.

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Anywherebuthere · 16/09/2024 17:27

What wrong with being over 40?

Honestly it's hard to tell the difference between 30-40 most times anyway. It's not a big deal if someone gets anyone's age wrong.

But I bet they were more interested in meeting targets than thinking about your age.

Bit daft to take it personally.

Original poster
insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:27

And if I was around 40 of course I wouldn't think it was an insult, but who wants to be told they look almost 10 years older than they are?

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HoppityBun · 16/09/2024 17:25

alpacachino · 16/09/2024 17:21

Don't complain. You're putting a value judgement on age. You're the one saying it's insulting to be thought to be over 40 when you're in your 30s.

It's a you problem

I don’t think this is quite fair. I think the OP feels insulted that people think she looks over 40. On what other criteria would they base their assumption in this circumstance?

Original poster
insulted4 · 16/09/2024 17:23

alpacachino · 16/09/2024 17:21

Don't complain. You're putting a value judgement on age. You're the one saying it's insulting to be thought to be over 40 when you're in your 30s.

It's a you problem

Well shop/brand place makes a lot of money from selling anti-aging skincare so if I have a problem with age it's due to corporations like them.

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