To not take excited 4 year old to his first lesson

You’d leave the puppy alone overnight though right? (Ie downstairs whilst you’re upstairs). Just take him for a walk before and then he’ll sleep whilst you’re out. You do need to leave home eventually without him…

The responses on this thread! You're not 'choosing a dog over a child' if you can't take him swimming on one occasion, because of tricky logistics involving a pet that he wanted and will hopefully enrich his life in other ways. The consequences of disrupting a young puppy's training (eg separation anxiety) cpuld be much worse than the consequences of not going swimming with your son (upset until you distract with something else, and can.go another week)

If you are stressed out enough to write a post on MumsNet I would say just leave it for this week as you're likely to be worried about the puppy and the period and if it's a class you need to be in the pool for too it's a faff enough!

He's 4 and I know it feels like the most important thing today but one day he'll be 14 and he'll have done gazillions of swimming lessons and won't remember one missed one. I have 12 and 16 year old boys who've done lots of various sports, music lessons and scout activities regularly over the years and sometimes it's just not possible to do everything all the time - car breakdown, a one off awards ceremony or match or concert for an activity that clashes with something else. That's different from just not being arsed.

Grant yourself some grace, tell him you'll go next week. Maybe as a distraction have his favourite weekday tea or some other low key no cost treat!

Consider crate training your puppy while he’s small going forward - create a dark cozy den with toys in it that he’s safe being left in for a couple of hours.

some people are hugely anti crates - but I think they’re a very useful tool for dogs as they get used to being in a big house by themselves

An animal or your child. I would have thought the answer would be obvious.

This is MN, it's full of them 🤣

Can you ask if any neighbours can look after the puppy for a couple of hours? I would jump at the chance of puppy cuddles if anyone ever needed! I don't want the responsibility of my own dog, just love other people's.

I can't believe you're putting a puppy before your DS

You allowed yourself to be nagged into getting a puppy by a four year old, who has no idea of the responsibility involved?

Are the swimming lessons weekly? Surely if the puppy can only be left for 10 minutes this week, it won't be ready to be left for 2 hours next week?

Apps like Bubble have pet sitters so that's what I would try to do

Even though you just said:

It was my son who has been nagging fir the puppy, so this is a good lesson on responsibility.

Glad you've managed to sort other swimming though and won't be using this as a 'lesson' for asking for a puppy.

Please don't let your son down, he will remember it

Or just tell him the truth. Why does everyone on mumsnet always recommend lies.

He can start to understand how puppies come with responsibility though. Why is that such a bad lesson?

This I'm afraid. Don't get me wrong. I feel for the puppy but I also feel for your boy

Do not tell your young child he is missing out on something he was looking forward to because of the puppy. It's far more likely to cause resentment than a sense of responsibility. Tell him the car isn't working / the lesson is cancelled or another reason, but whatever you do don't tell him it's because of the dog.

Take the puppy, if you can? Or could DH rearrange things?
Also another one here who says that you are being very good to worry about leaving puppy too much too soon, but at 15 weeks I'd expect you to be leaving them alone at least a couple times a day for small amounts of time - 10 minutes here, 15 there, in fact at this point I'd hope it would be more time. But that's okay! Pup is still young enough to claw it back - you could follow the below schedule:
Monday: 2 x 10 mins
Tuesday: 3 x 10 mins
Wed: 2 x 15 mins
Thu: 3 x 15 mins
Fri: 2 x 20 mins
Sat: 3 x 20 mins
Sun: 2 x 30 mins
So tiny increments, but lots of instances, then ease it up over time. Talk to your trainer about good 'leaving the house' practices to follow. Best of luck!

I think you're doing the right thing.

He is 4. He cannot assess impact of a puppy on family life

So yeah, don't leave the puppy, explain to child today isn't the day and plan a substitute activity!

OP your child is 4, this isn't on the child because 'he wanted a puppy', yes it's a life lesson but he's barely out of pre school so don't put the responsibility on him wanting the dog. The dog belongs to adults.

So who is going to take your son to the swimming lesson?

There are some things that I’d never miss like Christmas plays or first days at school, but I don’t think I went to any of DS’s swimming lessons in the first year or two. DH took him and it never occurred to me that it was something I should be going to.

You can't let your child down for a puppy. You won't be gone for hours. The puppy will be fine. You've said how excited your son is so he will be very upset I wouldn't be able to let him down