To think that some people need more downtime/rest or am I just lazy?

Well quite, but when the OP said she's excluding neurodiversity, I took that to mean she's excluding all other medical conditions too.

Maybe I was wrong to assume that.

I have ADHD and go from being completely on the go and can keep going endlessly, but if I stop I can’t start again. If I go out socialising I need a good chunk of time afterwards to just ‘be’. However even if I’m sat on the sofa my brain is continuously shouting at me that I am lazy and need to do XYZ. And that’s exhausting in itself. My diagnosis definitely helped me understand I’m far from lazy
That's exactly me too. I'm always buzzing, multi tasking, on the go, doing quantity of things at twice the speed of others. I walk, talk, think fast.

But once I stop, usually at home, that's it for me! I just want to crash and not talk to anyone. I want to hide in a hole, undisturbed. Home for me is the place to do that.

My OH is always on the move from the time he wakes up to going to bed, but he does everything much much slower than I.

I have to do this though, because genetically my neuromuscular junction gets damaged by activity and needs lots of rest to heal it. When I over do it I simply can't send messages from my nerves to my muscles so they don't work.

I am lucky to have recently found this out. Before that I judged myself harshly too. I expect lots more people will learn about themselves as scientific understanding of invisible conditions increases

Just because someone has less physical ability than another that doesn't mean it is a moral failing or lack of determination, it could be quite the opposite, that even the little they do takes huge determination

Oh, and at the minute, I'm sleeping 9-6/6.30 most nights. I stayed up til gone 10 last night and I'm yawning while working now.

Not to your extreme but yes, I do need to.
I tend to only plan a max of 1 evening/ weekend event a week, and maybe one daytime meet apart from work. If we were out on Saturday, we probably wouldn't do anything Sunday.

DD is almost 5, and has just started school, she was insistent that she was having a lazy day Sunday. So we did. TV, colouring, a game, baking. That's full enough.

I think I'm lower energy than lots of people in some ways. I was chatting to a mum who works full time as does her husband, she was saying how with doing all the housework and life admin in the evenings they rarely sit down before 10pm. If I had to do that I'd need to be medicated.

Gosh how kind and thoroughly helpful of you.

I could never be constantly on the go. I'm amazed that people do exercise classes or the gym, or socialise in the evenings, and still manage to get up for work the next morning without feeling exhausted. At the weekends I make plans to do nothing, so if we have lots on I'll make sure I fit in a slow morning or keep Sunday afternoon free to wind down.

It's probably all out of habit but I'm also the sort of person who would nap every day if I didn't have to work, so maybe I am just a sleepy person.

I need recovery time after socialising so I'm more of a classic introvert, but when I was dehydrated/not eating very well/exercising regularly I could have written your post word for word. Not saying that's you, but my energy levels and ability to cope with 'doing' a lot has changed in a way I really didn't expect.

This thread makes me think of the one that turns up occasionally where it's someone complaining that their friend is too busy to meet up unless you book in weeks in advance - they think it's rude, I just think some people.like to be a lot busier than others and others need more downtime. Both of which could result in a decline to an invite for coffee!

We are all different and I think that comes as such a surprise to so many people, I'm not sure why?

I'm busy all week but I need time to myself. My husband is not so busy and he moves at a slower pace. We kind of meet in the middle and that's fine for both of us.

hairybrush, how rude you are to refer to anybody as 'dull'. People may think of you in less than glowing terms but hopefully they'll keep it to themselves.

I think it's really good to have time staring into space not actually doing anything.

I don't always build this into my day but say, if I have a chance to not sit and read or listen to a podcast or play a game on my phone or organise something, say, when I'm on a train, walking the dog or waiting for an appointment it can be a good thing.

I find it beneficial to just drift off into my thoughts sometimes. Particularly for peace of mind, imagination and creativity. A bit of boredom, it often starts off with my thinking "Gah, this is boring, let's use this time to..." then I think "hang on a minute" and a few moments later I've gone into my thoughts and I'm not bored at all.

There is so much pressure not to waste time and to be always doing but I actually not doing to be beneficial. Sometimes I think of a solution to a problem at work, sometimes I reflect on a dream or think up a book plot. It gets my creative juices going which feels important to me.

I should add, I used to be the person who went to the gym 4 times a week and came back into the office the next day after a holiday with jetlag feeling fine. Its like I burned through all my energy and I'm shattered now!

For me chilling at home usually means lots of time in bed or pottering around the house. Usually a nap. Reading/journalling. Light chores. I've often wondered if I have chronic fatigue as I'm very easily tired out. But no doctor has ever found anything.

I do have PMDD and ADHD so I wonder sometimes if it's part of living with those conditions.

I need a lot of downtime but I just accept that about myself now.

I'm pretty low energy but I love company, so I'm a bit of a contradiction. Sometimes I have to force myself to make the effort to go out because I know I'll enjoy it and feel better for it.

Definitely. Everyone has to try and make things work for them without feeling guilty about it.

No, it isn't about introversion. I'm pretty introverted, in that I need a lot of alone time, but that doesn't mean I have to be sitting on the sofa staring at the wall. I could be out for a run, or doing a beach litter-pick, or at the farmers' market shopping, or at an exhibition. I mean, it doesn't affect my energy level.

And yes, that's a good question -- what do people mean by spending a day 'chilling'?

Neurodiverse people often need recovery time after social situations, I'd say consider this as a possibility

I have ADHD and go from being completely on the go and can keep going endlessly, but if I stop I can’t start again. If I go out socialising I need a good chunk of time afterwards to just ‘be’. However even if I’m sat on the sofa my brain is continuously shouting at me that I am lazy and need to do XYZ. And that’s exhausting in itself. My diagnosis definitely helped me understand I’m far from lazy.

I enjoy socialising and being with people but it also completely drains my batteries.

Yep, I have health issues that give me fatigue
Usually I only leave the house once during the week and then at weekends one day out, one day in
I do exercise at home though so not like I'm not getting any movement!

Yeah. I find social interaction very stressful. Especially with strangers.
I like people and I like doing things but if I plan too many things back to back at some point I'll simply breakdown and be unable to attend them.
I can't do two things like have a doctors appointment then a social meet up for example.. I just won't be able to do both and I've had to accept that and work round it. I used to try when younger abd then just end up letting people down.
It's better to understand yourself and have clear boundaries than say you'll do something and let people down.
You have to accept that some people won't understand abd will just think you can't be arsed and will find offense
But as you get older you learn to sit with that. They aren't good people for you anyway.
Some people don't get the amount of energy it takes some other people to be social because it actually gives them energy and they are more drained by being alone!
I strongly suspect I might be autistic.. which may have something to do with this. I find it very very hard interacting because understanding how people want me to respond takes an incredible amount of energy.. then often I feel like I didn't do well and I came across strange or offended someone.. and then of course the anxiety about that saps more energy.
All in all it's exhausting. I like other people and do want to do things with them but I do need a lot of space and alone time to recharge. Especially from interactions with any strangers.

I'm like you and have a friend like yours.

I don't think it's a "need" though. I think it's a learned response. If you'd grown up in a home where it was always go go go then you're more likely to be that sort of person. Commuting every day for an hour each way was fine when I did it - but now I WFH going in once a week is a chore.

I have down time when i feel like it.
Like right now im on mumsnett with some crisp and coffee.
Later i plan on reading a few chapters of my cringy cheesey book in the back yard.
Most likely read in to the night.

something like commuting twice a week to the office will have me exhausted and needing a PJ day at the weekend to recover.

We're all different, we all have different energy levels but needing to spend an entire day sitting round the house in your pyjamas, just because you've commuted twice in a week, sounds very extreme to me.

It's probably more a habit than a need.

I have a high energy child - she does lots of extra curricular activities

She understands that my body needs rest because she sees what happens when I push through. We may be like chalk and cheese when it comes to energy levels but we are still incredibly close.

I think I'm a mixture.

I work 3 days a week and get home about 7pm. I feel "peopled out" by then as l do a public facing job and just want to put my pj's on and watch TV in bed.

On my days off l like to have plans to meet with friends... but l don't over fill my day. So l exercise in the morning and meet for lunch etc. I wouldn't then choose to socialise again in the evening.