I have a toddler with my ex (1.5years).
Broken up and got back together a few times. Had been trying to "make things work" for the past year (not living together), however I ended things a couple of months ago as realised he just wasn't making us/our child a priority.
For example he could regularly go weeks without seeing dc, citing work reasons. He really just popped up when suited him.
If I ever asked him for help, or asked if he could have dc while I had an appointment/wanted to go for a meal with friends he always declined. Had plenty of time to go to the gym every day and go out with his mates though. Caught him out in many lies when he said he was working/had no time to come and see dc but he actually wasn't.
He's recently asked for every other weekend, which I had loosely agreed to. Dc still breastfed and under 2, he's never had them overnight so I thought daytimes best and then build up to overnight from age 2 was reasonable.
I've had a MASSIVE long email from him now. Sounds very legal but send from him. Saying that he wants equal shared care and this that and the other. He lives over an hour away not sure how this works!?
It sounds very threatening, and says I've prevented him having contact from birth, which isn't true. In fact most of the little contact he's had is because of the effort I've made, often taking dc to his workplace or to see his family. The effort on his end has been next to nothing.
The email is bigging himself up massively, and putting me down and making me sound like I’ve been unreasonable. I’ve always told him (since the relationship breakdown) that he can have dc but that it needs to be set days and build up to overnights, that routine is important, being settled in nursery etc.
He’s had her of a Saturday twice now, one of the weekends which should have been his Saturday he said he couldn’t due to being busy with work…
Why is someone who does this, sending me a threatening email making out like I’m preventing contact?
AIBU to think it’s manipulation and him trying to start a paper trail of some sort?
I wish I could get inside the head of these men and work out what they are thinking.