Email from ex?

Contact is for the benefit of the child, not him or his mother. Just ignore, ignore, ignore.

Strange bloke. You're in a good position as he has put so much in writing / text.

It's as meaningful as a used piece of bog roll. He's trying scare you by getting an AI to write a nonsense legal sounding letter. Silly bastard.
Just totally ignore it. It probably makes absolutely no sense anyway. He is the one refusing to see his child. What a loser.

He isn't going to do anything to you I would ignore and continue with CMS application and your daughter having some sort of relationship with her fathers side of the family.

It always goes back to money he'd not interested in seeing his daughter he's pissed you asked for money.

His mum probably wrote it.

Whatever you send back, keep it simple, repetitive and offer mediation.

"Dear Ex,

This email and it's contents are not congruent with the conversations we have been having over the past 18 months.

Please see attached documentation of all the times I have offered contact and you have declined. Please note the times you have cancelled due to more important commitments.

Please also see a detailed list of all dates you have had DC alone.

Please note you are not on the birth certificate(s) despite repeated requests, so this conversation is moot until you take action to remedy this per my multiple requests.

I will contact CMS again - last time this process was interrupted as we attempted to reconcile.

Child A is still breastfed. It is logistically unreasonable to expect overnight contact until this has finished.

I am and will remain open to mediation to find a suitable visitation schedule that works for all of us. Please let me know if you would like to pursue this avenue with goal of maintaining a positive co-parenting relationship which is in the best interests of our DC."

If he’s not on the birth certificate surely he has no legal right to the child so his letter is full of bullshit. I know this isn’t the path you would want to go down.

I’d add being away from me (as primary carer) just so it’s written!

Op I just wanted to say, I have spent the last 10 years being dragged through the family court system by an abusive ex and his vexatious litigation. I have been very poorly advised by solicitors on a number of occasions and I think you have been as well. Solicitor cannot say how a family court would view you ceasing contact because it’s basically down to the judge and they do not like it in general (this is an understatement). It could be held against you for the next 14 years. I think your solicitor is not worth the money you have paid.

if you ever want quick legal advice, a lot of solicitors will give you 30 minutes for free, and also if you go to https://www.barcouncil.org.uk/bar-council-services/for-the-public/direct-access-portal.html to speak to a direct access barrister who may also offer 30 minutes for free. You really don’t need to bother sending wordy emails. if you end up in court, they will not be read there’s no point. Keep it short and sweet and do not state that you are ceasing contact as this can be taken out of context and used against you.

Frame it as an offer, not a rejection. Yeid love you to have her for six hours as discussed, building up to overnights…

if you want her to have a relationship with her grandmother, you could also offer a short amount of time there, but if he’s trying to use his mother as a proxy that’s obviously bullshit. There’s no point arguing with him, if you end up in court, they will take the headlines from what happened, they’re not going to care about the rest of it and it will be dealt with very quickly. You just need to stay focused on what you want for your daughter and don’t get pulled into it all. He’s embarrassing himself with these quasilegal emails, just leave him to it

I wouldn't get solicitors involved at this point. It is likely to escalate things and get very expensive and it's not necessary.

Get used to holding onto your understanding of events in the face of absolutely inaccurate and unfair claims from your ex. Maybe he believes himself. Maybe he doesn't. It doesn't really matter, don't get drawn in. Useful practice for having a toddler.

I would respond outlining what has been agreed, reiterating what you are aiming for (a good relationship with your child) but don't get involved in arguing with him.

YOu actually have to laugh, if you can, at the delusion of these men. I mean, saying he's always paid - that is the EASIEST thing in the world to prove/disprove. But they think that because they've said it, you will back down. Classic attempts to gaslight.

Did you ever reply? As he's now sent TWO emails, if you haven't, I'd go back with something short, sweet (really no need to produce proof at this point - he's lying, you know it and he either knows it and is doing it anyway or has completely deluded himself) and telling him to stop harassing you:

Dear Dick
I dispute all of your claims and have consistently tried to encourage and facilitate a positive relationship between baby George, you and even your family. It's a pity you can't turn up this weekend as agreed, please let me know when you might next be able to see him.

As for CMS - as you have regularly not paid, paid late, and threatened not to pay, I have had no choice.

If you have legal advice and want to take this further, please go ahead. I believe it begins with you asking for mediation, which I would of course be happy to attend once that is scheduled. Otherwise, please stop sending me threatening and accusatory emails.

NC

Under section IV of the Unhappiness at Being Taken to the CMS Act of 1989, he clearly has a very strong case. Expect to hear from his top legal team soon.

Go to CMS and totally reduce contact with him - just file any emails etc he sends for evidence but don't respond unless there is anything relating to him seeing his daughter. He is playing games - probably because you have ended the relationship.
By all means, try and arrange times for him to have his daughter, say for 2 months. If he is consistently unreliable etc, follow your legal advice and cease contact, as it's not good for anyone. If he takes legal routes, let him, as it will simply show up his lack of commitment/manipulation of the situation.
Just keep all your evidence stacking up.......

Sounds like the email was sent in the presence of someone he wants to look good in front of.

I would reply saying a the the email he sent you is full of lies and you have all of his text as evidence that he has made a very poor effort to see his daughter.

Defend yourself by writing a letter to him, taking up each point he makes, giving your answer to that. At the end say you still wish to come to an amicable agreement saying the balls in his court. Don't get aggressive in your writing, stick to the point. He may be planning to put 'his interpretation of things' in writing to use against you in future should you end up in a legal battle. If this persists, tell him you are seeking legal advice. Cover every angle.

I would not send him any evidence or screenshots. That's for the court, if he gets as far as that.
Much better that he does not know exactly what evidence you have, then he can't work towards discrediting it.

He's trying to avoid maintenance. I think you said you started a CM claim?
He wants to establish 50/50 as soon as possible so he doesn't have to pay anything then, once he's got it, he'll carry on letting you down or offloading DC onto his mother.
And absolutely the silly sod has got AI to write his email - what an idiot to use the whole thing! Too lazy to adapt it, I suppose.

I don't think you need to do anything other than keep his communications - it seems he's perfectly able to torpedo his own case all by himself...

I think I'd make it short and sweet

Ex

As per your email dated x time x, I confirm receipt.

As I've previously confirmed with yourself, dd has always been available for you to have contact with every other weekend. I understand that this can sometimes be difficult for you to commit to, as evidenced by you being unavailable on x, y, z dates.

You've previously preferred contact on a Saturday, so if another day would be more convenient please let me know and we can discuss this as an option going forward.

I'm also available to discuss alternative contact this Saturday, as you've made me aware in another email (dated x), that you are unavailable for contact.

Regards
Me

I'd also be keeping logs of times you've made dd available to him and when he has cancelled etc.

Have you replied or mentioned what he sent you?

I'd love to write an email back and give him so home truths and put all his bullsht right but I know I can't.*

Yeah, I sympathise with this. You want him to be embarrassed. To acknowledge he's a dick. Maybe even to change. But it won't happen and it's good you already know that.

Years later, I still hear via extended family who have the misfortune of seeing exBIL that he is still complaining that I refused to "help" him when he asked for help before they broke up. It's amusing because a) I'm his ex's SIL, not exactly a key figure in their drama b) he didn't ask for help. He sent me a stream of messages in which he accused SIL of a bunch of things. The implication was that I should tell her that she was a problem (that's the bit that I THINK he thought was asking for help).

You simply cannot reason with these people. You also have to accept that if he is doign this because of a new woman, she will not listen to reason or look at your proof. He will produce a dozen reasons why you're wrong.

Guessing you have evidence of messages you have sent to him asking him to see DC and his subsequent rejections. I would respond with screenshots of such messages and explain in the least emotional way possible that you have tried to facilitate contact since DC was born but that he most often does not accept. I would tell him he is always welcome to see DC provided it is routinely to provide stability for DC. Ask him to send over a schedule of when he would like to see them and react accordingly.