Email from ex?

You've spoken to your solicitor so you have a good sense of what legal grounds he has (none). So no, I wouldn't bother paying for a solicitor's letter at this point. Short, polite email telling him you don't agree with his portrayal of things, asking when he plans to next see DC, BRIEFLY outlining the path you see to more contact ("if you're seeing him every fortnight at a minimum and have done so for long enough to feel confident being alone with him for extended periods, and have equipment at your home, I would be happy to start with single night overnights and aim to build up"). Say nothing about parental responsibility etc. Don't cancel your CMS claim.

That's because ChatGPT assumes you are "legal parents in law" and he doesn't know enough to realise it's wrong.

What a prat.

I wouldn’t waste money on a solicitor to reply at this point. As you say he’s not got PR so he’s not going to get very far, and you are offering contract. I’d send one of the responses drafted on here, and point out you’ll be willing to consider more contact once he’s able to stick to what you’ve agreed so far. He’s probably just pissed re the CMS. They all kick off when they get involved. When I told my ex I was going to the CMS if he didn’t pay me some maintenance he called me a gold digger and benefit cheat. This is despite the fact I signed my 40% of the house over to him for nothing, and the fact he didn’t pay me any direct maintenance for 12yrs. And the fact I work full time and have for 24yrs!! I quickly had an apology but just goes to show what crap they spout.

The best solicitor response I've seen in very similar circumstances =

''Thank you for your correspondence of.......

It's contents have been duly noted

Yours''

And it can used over and over again if he gets into the habit of writing this sort of thing

Exes only exist to annoy you.
Part of being split up

He's trying to scare you and exert power.
Let him do hat he's got to do, he has no chance of having the child for half a week. None whatsoever.
Don't let him rile you, it's what he wants.
Sad to say there will be more to navigate no doubt.

I would respond to his email, point by point, in a dactual/non critical way. He just doesn't want to pay maintenance I guess.

He’s realised how much maintenance he’ll have to pay you if he only has the child eow, balked at that and is now playing funny buggers and talking about shared custody. It’s a load of nonsense and he won’t stay the distance. The clown hasn’t even done anything about getting his name on the child’s birth certificate.
I would reply to the email, reiterating what you’ve said about how he can work up to overnight contact and what you are offering currently. Don’t even refer to his comments about preventing contact. You know it’s rubbish, he knows it’s rubbish. Not only can he not prove it, he most likely knows that you are able to rebut that argument easily. By not even referring to it you’ll maintain the upper hand and he’ll be thrown off.
If you haven’t already, make a list/chronology of the efforts you’ve made to promote contact for use later if the silly twat continues to try to pull at that thread.

This smells like a new girlfriend is in the air and he is trying to make you look like the “crazy ex” to justify why he doesn’t see/know his kid. Also he’s played victim (the poor dear has been beside himself because you “won’t let him see his baybeeeeee’”) and sympathy for this cruel situation got him in her pants.
This guy sucks.

He's definitely starting a paper trail. I'd personally be making sure I had my own - screenshots of relevant messages etc to support your side!

I bet he’s got a girlfriend that he’s trying to play happy families with. My ex wanted all the contact when he had a girlfriend who had a child herself. He played all this act of the greatest dad in the world to his girlfriend - yet as soon as they broke up, he dropped all contact with our son to only twice a month. I know it’ll happen again that he’ll get in another relationship and try and have our son more so he looks good (and so the girlfriend is the one caring for him). It’s textbook ‘deadbeat’, they pick and choose if and when they want their child - when you set boundaries for your child’s best interest, you’re the ‘bitter baby mum’ and the devil to anyone they want to tell.

Amen!

Agreed this one is the best. It’s not promising anything and very succinct.

Do not put him on the BC or give him PR if you can avoid.

I wonder if his “top notch legal team” is aware that he is not on the BC?

Log the times he hasn't turned up, write as many as you can. If he wants to go to court/the legal route, you need evidence and he needs to understand that you aren't just going to hand over your child at the drop of a hat, particularly when he isn't even on the bc, which he'll need to sort before having parental responsibility. Sadly, you can't prevent him from going on the bc eventually if he wants.

Haha! I'd be waiting with bated breath for his top notch legal team to get in touch.

As others have said, you have all the written evidence as to why he has been the one who has been stopping him from seeing his kids so just keep all that safe in a draft email in date order. I doubt you'll ever need to use it, but just in case ...

Also i would buy a school diary, the week to a page ones, they are cheap in the works .
Start putting down dates he emailed.
If he picked up. Or the excuse and how he sent it.
Any money he gives, as gifts or maintenance. If your child was sent to Grand parents instead.

Events missed , to have it all to hand if you go to court, really will help you plan bettter.

Keep your replies really simple.
Save the loaded guns for when you need them.
Record everything, email is best, reply so it is a record that benefits you.
Thank you for the email.
Please confirm as previously agreed that your contact will be....
Or sorry you could not do a visitation on x date. Thank you for informing me...

You do know this is because your going to have to garnish his wages via CSA and he won't be able to stop payments....

Can I get an amen!

This one is the best reply of all the ones mentioned.

I’d send: hi ex, interesting emails, the only bit that’s true is you got my name right. I suppose the gist of it though is you’d like to be a more active, involved parent which is great. You did also just cancel Saturdays contact with ‘Ben ’ - does this wish for shared care mean you are going to commit to regular Saturdays and would you like to see Ben this weekend after all? Also, on the dd/mm/yyyy you sent a long list of the dates you can’t see Ben (Saturday wasn’t on it, which is why we agreed it as a contact date), does this mean you are going to reconsider those dates and plan more time with Ben? Let me know what days you would like and we can make arrangements. At the moment we have booked in this Saturday although you cancelled that in your text yesterday and next Saturday.
Kind regards,
op.