Husband is buying a car when I don't think he should.

We had one car for years. It was leased in my husband’s name but me on insurance. I wanted my own car. I wanted my own no claims and insurance record, my husband is in a band so I wanted my own little car where I could leave the parcel shelf because I wasn’t taking equipment in and out. I could decide how clean it was and my seat didn’t have to keep being adjusted all the time. I had my budget. I pay for my car. He pays for his. Might sound silly but he agreed because he could see why. I don’t see why you would have an issue.

She hasn't said he's got a disability, so presumably he's got legs, and from the sound of it bike, trains. Taxis. He's got the same options she had before she could drive.
I don't think being a single week without a car constitutes 'no means of transport' from what she's described.

He's probably making the decision now as you are taking the car for a week leaving him with no means of transport. If I had spent 9 out of 10 years having to drive everyone around and then had my car taken away at random points then I wouldn't be too happy.

You say he's not considering you or the kids. Are you actually considering him here?

Just for an alternative perspective...you're complaining that he's just made this decision on his own, but that's the exact same reality in which you want the right to veto his choice regardless of his justification for wanting the second car. Those are the exact same thing from two different sides.

If it's affordable, then there's no reason not to - especially, as somebody else mentioned, it's going to be useful as the kids get older. They'll almost certainly have different activities, and the logistics of it will inevitably mean that one of you ends up spending the whole day running around ferrying kids about, as opposed to splitting the duties and both of you having most of your day free.

As an example of why it's actually a really good idea - he's taken one of the kids out (say, to a sports thing), and you're at home with the other. Kid 2 has a serious accident requiring an immediate visit to A&E. You now have to hope there's a taxi free, which is usually going to be a 10-20 minute wait (round here, at least) or call an ambulance (maybe an hour or two), as opposed to just chucking the kid in the car and going. I've had this exact thing happen in both circumstances, and believe me...the outcome was far better when I had my own car.

As to the last bit...if your justification for the veto is that you want to make sure he's stuck in the house and can't go anywhere without you, then you need to give your head a wobble.

Before purchasing a second car he needs to investigate how much tax and insurance is going to cost. Work out these costs on a monthly basis. If a second car is going to cost 100 quid a month before you've even bought fuel, he needs to work out if it is worth it financially. If the second car is only going to be used weekends that's 25 quid a weekend.

Why would she say this? Her DH has been the only person "running the kids around" for the 9 of the last 10 years!

OP, I think he is looking to the future and seeing the convenience of having to cars. It's not always fun being the only driver and I bet he has occasionally felt frustrated at that. Now you can also drive, why wouldn't you take advantage of the convenience of both having a car?

You are also about to take access to a car away from him for a number of days whilst you go away. So, again, you are not being inconvenienced by only having one car, but your DH is

I wouldn't worry. I thought my husband had 2 motorbikes until I went into the garage to find something. Only to be greeted by 4!! No4 was a recent purchase but No3 6 months ago

OP has only been driving a year so it’s not like they’ve gone 10 years sharing a car they both drive. They now for the past year share the car and maybe after the last year DH has decided it would be better to get a second car so everyone is free to do what they please.

However OP I do think a sit down to talk about the financial side of it is what is needed. If you can’t afford to run a car he needs to know that before making any decisions.

Tell him that you think it's a great idea, he can continue to use the cords dm you'll have a bigger car to run the kids around. Bet he changes his mind

I'd be upset too.

It sounds like there are bigger issues here:

Financially you say that you might be expected to pay the running costs for the corsa but you can't afford it. How are your finances run? Unusual its not joint?

Plus you said it's another reason for him for escape from family life- are there wider issues here of him doing this?

But from what you say, it doesn't sound like it's needed at all.

i'm with you, if you’ve managed 10 years with one car why on earth do you suddenly need two?
Because for 9 out of those 10 years the dh has done all the driving so there couldn't have been 2 cars?

100% with you.

I’m with you, if you’ve managed 10 years with one car why on earth do you suddenly need two? Definitely upgrade to something more roomy, comfortable but why an extra one.

I’d put money on him getting some unpractical sporty car for the second car which is why he wants two. He’ll drive the flash new one and leave you and the kids with the corsa. He also has no respect for your opinion or involvement. Sounds like this is just the final straw for you- so good luck. What a twat.

We only have one car. We did have two and debated the selling of the second as it was a good low mileage ULEZ compliant.

But the cost of just keeping them on the road is a lot. Insurance has gone up a lot, especially if one would need to move to your name only before you've been driving two years.

MOT, servicing, couple of new tyres. Realistically £600 plus without any issues.

I mostly WFH and husband is within easy walking distance so we couldn't justify it.

Like a PP said, once or twice a year it would be handy but not enough to justify the extra expense.

If you have access to good public transport and are in an area where parking is difficult/expensive, a second car is probably at best an unnecessary luxury or at worst a hinderance.

Realistically how often do you think it will be used? You can pay for a lot of taxis or join a car club for a fraction of the amount it costs to buy and run even a cheap car.

I'd consider replacing the Corsa with something bigger and newer but running two cars seems a waste of money in your circumstances.

If you don't want or need a car, presumably he'll be fine if you sell the corsa rather than paying for continuing to pay its costs?
Maybe work out what all those costs are. Then how much that would buy you in terms of taxis or maybe a hire car for a week if you need to take the kids away without him again?

You don't get to "shut people down immediately" when you are in a relationship.

Not if you want it to last anyway.

Saying "No" is just as bad as the other partly saying "Yes".

You have to negotiate some sort of compromise where neither party gets entirely what they want, but is an acceptable outcome for both sides.

Seems reasonable enough. Everyone needs their own time and space. He was probably used to having his own car before the OP got a licence.

you do know that when he sent the links you could have shut him down immediaetely don't you?

you could simply have repleid with NO! or, if you needed to think about it, after some some replied with NO!

or.. you could make it clear that if he purchases a 2nd car with his own money then he is the one that takes up the financial burdon of said 2nd car!

you've made a lot of assumptions.... perhaps a conversation between the pair of you would be your first port of call.

I don’t think you’re thinking ahead like he is. You’re looking back and thinking that for x years, when you couldn’t drive and for most of it didn’t have dogs and kids you managed fine with one car. You’re also looking at now and thinking how you walk, cycle, WFH and so on.

But as the kids get older, what if they have different activities on the same day after school but at different places? What then?

What if you both need the car - not a WFH day for either of you and it’s too far or too bad weather to walk or cycle and trains are on strike again.

What if you want to go shopping, but he wants to get the dogs walked?

I think that buying a new, safer, family car while keeping old car as a run around with dogs car is actually a good idea. You will get next to nothing on part exchange for such an old car, it’s probably paid off so just the cost to run it until it dies. So keep it too. It will add more options to planning family life at very little extra cost.

I think he needs to discuss things properly with you. A bigger car sounds sensible two does not seem necessary. Write your list of pros & cons and sit down and talk to him when he’s home. It’s unfair if he’s expecting you to shoulder the cost of one car if it’s not your decision.

I’d be thinking he wants to go off on his own for jaunts and trips out OP. Hence the emphasis on justifying why he wants a second car.

Well it does sound like it’s time for a bigger/newer car and if you find you’re never using both cars at the same time you can always sell the corsa down the line. So he’s not wrong. However, his communication skills leave a lot to be desired and I get why you’re pissed off at the way he’s gone about it, I’d feel exactly the same.

I'm not a car person, think they are a waste of money and would drive the Corsa until it dies then replace with something bigger.