To stop dating this man for this?

Touché! Although you're way of thinking is in the minority amongst the general population

What I loved about my DH is that even after we had already slept together we kept going out for dinners, house parties, bars, restaurants, visit places etc and sex was just something that happened in the end of the night. For me this man being all about sex would be a massive turn off and I widnf see him again as I would feel bored.

THIS!

@Actuallyaperson So not only does he misread you completely but he doesn't have basic manners? You must be disappointed to find out now.
Challenging you as why you can't make it work is a little worrying.
At this stage, DO NOT explain anything anymore, if you tell him what to do he probably will. No, you need to see him 'in the wild' not teach him to play a better game.
Have dinner somewhere neutral. He sounds quite unconstructed so you'll know before pudding if he's worth your time or not and if not, no doubts, no regrets.

@DeCaray

LOL!

This makes women reasonable for a man’s behaviour. Men don’t put women in the “sex only” category because a woman has sex with them “too soon”.

They know from the start whether this is a woman that they would be interested in potentially long term or not. Waiting to have sex won’t change a man’s mind, but it can, happily, lead to them seeing themselves out.

…I dunno .. when I first had sex with my (now) husband of 20 years, all I could think about was when we would next have sex .. I talked about it with him all the time (early days of texting as well!), he liked that I was sexually very open, and was happy to talk about what I wanted. If it was a choice between eating, and sex, it would be the latter.
It was amazing sex, with someone I was falling in love with .. maybe I was a bit obsessed 😂😂

All these years on, still fancy him .. and tell him.. but these days, dinner would win !

This would probably completely put me off and I would decline to see him again - but that is because I was constantly meeting men just looking for (at least it seemed that way to me) for sex.

However it may just have been a long time for him and he had a great time in general including the sex.

I suggest you have a conversation and tell him that his behaviour is making you think he is only after sex which is not what you are after at all. You want more.

His reaction to that and how he behaves afterwards will tell you if he wants to try a serious relationship with you or just wants a sex partner and then you can act accordingly.

I slept with my partner on the day I met him and we've lasted

Guarantee that if you marry him you will be back on here in 5 years saying that he sulks when you won't have sex with him and he coerces you into sex when you don't feel like it.

Yuck. He would give me SUCH an ick.

Subtle flirting is so much more attractive than a man acting like a sex obsessed teenage boy.

It's almost as if... not everyone thinks exactly the same as you do?

It might be normal to want sex with someone you're dating, but it's not normal to try to pressure that person into sex when they've clearly said no - twice! It's also not normal to feel like you can't meet up with someone without it having to lead to sex, just because you've had sex previously.

Well I work 12 hour shifts too on my feet all day and would still prioritise sex in a new dating relationship. So we'll have to agree to disagree.

Anyone sending me a "list" would have been finished with.

Yup that would give me the ick. I went on two dates with a guy I liked. On the second date he told me he could book a hotel room as it was the third date. I said no and he got really weerod. Ergh i hate dating

It’s almost as if he wants you to confirm that you’re definitely going to have sex before the evening goes ahead. He’s too eager to get at you and I would find that off putting.

Yeah, once you have the ick you can't get rid of it I don't think.

I agree with you, but I also think “the ick” is a very visceral thing we ladies get (thank goodness for our intuition), it’s something that can’t be properly rationalised, it’s just an “ick”, a turn off, it’s the universe telling ‘something is not quite right’ with this guy, and you can’t really pin point why but it’s your gut feeling talking to you, listen.

It's not pressuring, it's completely normal to want sex with someone you're dating! I would be very confused if my date prioritised going out for dinner when there's many other things you could do to make time. If you don't wanna rip their clothes off at that point in dating then either you're not that interested in them as a person or not particularly interested in sex in general. I would find that incredibly boring so I did suggest she could find someone else who would prefer doing other things. I'm just saying it's gonna be hard to find 🤷‍♀️

As he has shared a list and his schedule with you, I would absolutely make it clear your basic expectations in communication e.g. don't start with sex texts and how his previous communication made you feel.

Sounds like he deserves a chance to redeem himself as you've had multiple great dates and fantastic sex.

Good luck

1 night of saying no doesn't mean it's low on their priority.

For God's sake, stop making men pressuring women for sex as normal and acceptable!

Exactly

I'd probably say you're just not that into him. With the handful of men I've been in love with, in the early days of attraction, I couldn't wait to shag them again. Dinner would come second🤣🤣

Also claiming there's something wrong with a woman who shows an interest in sex / has a healthy sex drive is just a different level of misogyny.

No but you clearly have to be a woman in order to give birth was my point 🙄. They had already been on 7 dates it wasn't their first date. Its not unreasonable to be interested in sex with someone in that situation and I can't see anything wrong with suggesting making time for it when you're in the early, should be excited to see each other phase. Must be another mumsnet thing as I don't know any women in real life who would not be interested so early on.