To stop dating this man for this?

Not that it's any of your business but that thread was about a past relationship with my ex husband who treated me like shit. The post were on now is an OP not fancying sex with a new date now a long term dickhead. Completely irrelevant. I wish I had time to search all your comments but I have a life outside mumsnet.

You looked up a 4 Yr old post without context 🤣. Good for you

I think this poster is being very disingenuous. This a post they made previously:

LemonPeonies · 16/06/2020 14:26

@NoMoreDickheads it's like anything gets in the way of them getting their sex they can't handle it and throw tantrums! It's so entitled isn't it. He also used to show me articles and programs about how women owe men sex and in Russia etc they just have to give them sex, it was like a veiled threat. So glad I fucked him off and am now with a respectful and kind man (who is much hotter too)!

Bleugh 🤮 loser. Sorry OP, but unless you’re happy being a fuck buddy then I’d drop him like a hot, rotten potato

They absolutely do

What I'm struggling with on this post is that the everyone is ignoring the fact she said no several times and he keeps pressuring her to change her mind and demanding she changes her schedule for sex

Not only that, they are implying there's something wrong with her for saying no and that it's not normal early on in a relationship

No wonder men ignore consent when many women trot out the narrative there's something wrong with you if you say no

This guy is giving her the ‘ick’ and that’s all it matters, her gut feeling is telling her something and she’s questioning it (she shouldn’t), I’m sure most women here who were delighted to shag silly their new guy after a few days were not getting the ‘ick’ (hence the reason they were happy shagging their guy).

Always follow your gut instinct.

Unfortunately whether you agree with it or not, 7 dates is not enough to know a person properly and sleeping together so soon makes a lot of men put the woman in the sex only compartment and dismisses them as being relationship material.

I'd bet good money that absolutely loads of happy long term relationships involved sex before date 7.

You're over exaggerating, he was excited after their last sex filled encounter so started the conversation with sexual remarks, then tried thinking of ways they could have more sex when they see each other? Sounds like normal last and excitement to me. I've been guilty of those things and from past conversations with female friends when they're dating someone they like they definitely have to. What's your data?

Can you hear yourself?

Why does a man think he has the right to overcome any obstacles that a woman chooses to put in his way?

Having sex before doesn't mean it gives automatic consent for any sexual activity after

What would you tell your daughter who come home and said "I've told my new boyfriend no to sex because he keeps pressuring me into it, what should I do?"

What would you tell your son who said "My new girlfriend had sex with me all weekend and when I text and asked for sex she said no, so I've given her a list and pressured her to change the plans to have sex and she keeps saying No, how can I get round it?"

But as you can see lots of people’s real world experience is the opposite.

So where is your data saying it’s a majority that would welcome a man reducing all their communications to sex talk and trying to push past her “no”?

From living in the real world

You accused me of being a man because you don't like my point of view. Now you're accusing me of being an abuse victim because you can't see from my point of view. I can't see from the other point of view either but haven't called anyone anything. People think differently and this man isn't attempting to rape the OP, just trying to think of ideas over the obstacles OP has put in the way of having fun together that doesn't involve chatting over a table with food. Their priorities are different and that's OK. As you cann see other women on here have said the same as me so I'm clearly not the only woman with this perspective. I've said a few times she needs to find someone more on her wavelength and him vice versa.

Where are you getting this data from?

This is why it's good to wait

I see why you are a bit meh about this (a list? Lol), but I would give him another chance. You like him, you had great sex - he’s probably cunt-struck and didn’t realise how he was coming across. Give him another chance and take it from there.

Yuck.

Some people just view relationships as more than just sex?

Evidently you are not one of them but you are brushing aside some disturbingly coercive behaviour from him and suggesting she is the issue for

• Wanting messages that start with a basic greeting / niceties before jumping into sex talk
• Having prior commitments and not being able to change
• Not responding positively to him trying to push past a no.

Very odd.

No it absolutely isn't.

Your are spectacularly missing the point.

Not once have I shamed or attempted to shame you for having lots of sex

However you are being mysoginistic by insisting the OP is abnormal for not wanting sex for 1 night. That's a typical bloke response who thinks they are that amazing thst no woman should ever say no to them

The issue as I've repeatedly said his him demanding she fits sex in, despite her saying No.

It's worrying you can't understand the rules of consent to be honest and that you think sex has to be a priority even if one partner says No and that sex should be happening regardless.

It's almost like you've been groomed and abused at some point in your life because you have no understanding of it

Go for dinner and tell him how you feel. His response will tell you whether or not to see him again.

They gave a valid reason. Would you attempt to browbeat somebody if they gave a reason for why, on that particular day they would only have time for dinner? Do you not see value in their company outside of the bedroom?

Actually,I'm in awe of the fact that you managed to have 7 dates with him before having sex! This is the reason I have given up on men. I got so sick of every single one of them expecting sex on the first or second date.

Be transparent with him, most men struggle to read between the lines. Tell him you want more than sex and the fact he has only wanted to talk about sex since you had it is incredibly unattractive to you.

There is some clear water between “indifference” and “trying to push the topic after being told ‘no’”

It's really not a woman's responsibility to educate grown-up men, much better to believe them when they tell you who they are.

I agree with taking longer to get to know somebody but not for the fairly misogynistic reason the other person has stated.

A man who is genuinely interested in getting to know a woman long term (and who is not a misogynist) will not be put off by having sex with a woman “early”.

Conversely a man who has no interest in a woman beyond getting her into bed is not going to change his mind because she made him wait longer for sex. The benefit of the latter is that he will likely see himself out / she can see what he is after and get rid before she is too emotionally invested.