Giving moved out daughter’s bedroom to younger sister

Apologies if I have missed it somewhere but for DD22 when she finished Alevels at 18 where was she living before moving in to flat with boyfriend ? - did she go to uni or stayed at home with a job ?

I'm the youngest of 2 (older brother ) - being always last to get the biggest room is pants

Oh, then why is she still spending over half her time at home during the work week, and also almost every weekend which would be exactly when her and boyfriend are off work and able to be alone? Most of her time with boyfriend is at home, not at the flat.

If she's old enough for a mature relationship and to make the decision to move out, she's old enough to accept your decision. She might have Autism, but you still need to speak to her and treat her like any normal minded person, because she still is a normal person capable of making big decisions. You cannot favour her over your youngest children.

She has a home of her own now so her Sister should move into the 'spare room'. That's what it is now as your oldest can't claim it as hers any more as she has her own room in her own home. Let your oldest know she's always welcome to stay & have a bed in the box room for when she sleeps over. It's not like she'll need a big room if all she's doing is sleeping in it.

I feel very sorry for the 16 yr old due to all the people saying ooh don’t make any changes, she is an adult who has chosen to move out, it’s completely unfair for the 16 yr old who lives there permanently to be suffering in the box room while her adult sister gets an entire flat to herself and still gets to keep her room, talk about pandered too

@ExquisiteEmelda The post was deleted because it was reported. It was an outright personal attack.

I don't know what accusing someone with ASD of being anti-autistic is though.

Just do it. If you ask her she will think it's her decision to make.

Please don’t assume you are the only autistic person posting on this thread because I can guarantee you, you are not.

You are not being bullied, posters are disagreeing with you.

What if they are being rude though? You don’t have a get out of jail free card because you have autism. Someone with autism can be intentionally rude the same as someone without autism.

MNHQ deleted your post because it went against their talk guidelines ie bloody rude, not because they don’t value what you have to say.

If you really think mnhq are targeting you because you have autism then you probably should take a break

The bullying on this thread truly shows what MN posters are like. I am going to ask MN to delete my account. This is what it's like to be an autistic person posting here. You get instantly bullied and piled on.

@MNHQ please delete my account and all posts

@OnAndOnAndonAgain My comments in this thread are all about autism and anorexia, I assume they do read them before deleting. But they randomly decided to delete them because they don't value an autistic woman's input, they'd rather just chuck out my contributions because oh no, someone with autism used the Wrong Tone! What a crime. Even though it's literally a social communication disorder.

Mnhq don't have a crystal ball, they don't know who has asd and who doesn't

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay I never attacked you, please don't mislead when I can't quote my own post to correct it.

@verysmellyjelly Wasn't strange at all. You chose to personally attack me about my ED and ASD.

It is typical of MNHQ that they only delete a post of mine. They are very predictable in targeting autistic women and not the people posting ableist hate.

One of our reasons was that dd2 is going into gcse year so will be spending more time in the room working. Having just done a levels and now on gap year dd1 is only using the room as her base not for study. Same probably applies to op - hard to argue with that really.

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay I find your comments to be hateful and anti-autistic so I guess we just have to disagree. Accusing someone with autism repeatedly of being rude is ableist.

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay I have never said bulimia was a lesser ED than anorexia, I'm not sure where you're getting that from. They are different that's all. Of course one isn't lesser than the other. That is a strange thing to read into my posts.

Anorexia is the ED this thread is about so it feels like you want to derail and get into a fight. The cases I am referring to are cases of anorexics. It is also anorexia that has the particular association with autistic girls. Bulimia is just as serious, only different and causes different types of death.

@verysmellyjelly Bulimia is not a lesser ED than anorexia.

You aren't the only person here with ASD so yes you are rude and I find your posts are hateful to other people with ASD and EDs simply because they disagree with you.

You are very aggressive in your posts. Your opinion is as valid as anyone else's but it is not more valid.

Your accusations of anti autistic hate is unfounded imo.

@TheHangingGardensOfBasildon with luck she will resettle fine in her new place and a longer period of transition will be successful. Then even if the family moved she would cope okay.

@ExquisiteEmelda I and others have found that MN barely responds to ableism unfortunately. I don't report anymore because I find it triggering when they say it doesn't break site rules and essentially that is them saying the ableist content is fine.

Avoiding retriggering the oldest DD's eating disorder is a big deal, and it just shows you don't understand and can't empathise.

But she seems to have managed with the much bigger break in routine in actually moving out - of her own volition.

What would happen if the whole family had moved house? She wouldn't be able to still have any access at all to her old room once strangers had bought the house. At least, with the house still being in her family, she can still see and go in the room when she visits.

Have a chat with her and explain, you can ask her if she’d like to help decorate the small bedroom for occasions she does stay.

my brother and I used to swap rooms every couple of years so one had the biggest (usually whenever he decided 🤪…and probably because he wanted a clean room!)

Anti-autistic hate? Pretty sure being ableist/hateful is against Mumsnet guidelines so if you have seen any posts like this then I’m sure you have reported them. Yes?