Do you have friends who ignore/block you (or everyone) during periods of emotional overwhelm?

I live with someone who will act bright and breezy for the crowd, but I get the real him - can be very distant and overwhelmed when trying to deal with difficult emotions.

I find it exhausting as well tbh, but don’t want him to feel he has to act up for me, so I try to get on with my own stuff and leave him to it - while still knowing I am around. It is hard though.

Mmmm I sort of do this, although I don't block & ignore people but I do hang back and only chat with whoever I come across in my daily life. I don't reach out to my oldest friends necessarily which might bother them, but I hate contacting people with a problem. I feel like I'd be popping up like 'Hey! It's me! Want to hear my bad news?' 😆 So I just don't.

Just one

She needs space and I give it to her.

I’m inclined towards this. When my husband left just before I had a baby I didn’t tell anyone for weeks- even my own family. I have great friends and family and they were a huge support a bit later. I find it hard to deal with someone else’s reaction/ emotions on top of my own and need time to process for myself and decide how to deal with something. It’s nothing to do with not valuing my friends and I’m very happy for them to approach me whenever they need me.

I’ve done this. It’s nothing personal. It’s not a good coping strategy for your friend to be doing but I can relate. A few experiences have made me feel that I am making myself more vulnerable if I reach out when I am already in a vulnerable state. So I feel I need to do the safest thing and hunker down. It feels like is unsafe to do the opposite if that makes sense.

If you say ‘thinking of you but no need to reply’ that can be a really nice thing. You can then see the read receipt and at least know that your friend has seen it.

I am probably one of those friends, however I don't 'choose' to distance myself, it becomes impossibly overwhelming to communicate and connect with people. I'm (as yet undiagnosed, but several medical professionals agree) autistic, so I suspect it's related to that.

My advice is just let them do what they need to do in difficult times, it's not about you, stop being so self involved. Leave them in peace. Why is it driving you crazy? They are dealing with things in the best way they can.

Yes I’m like this at times. If I’m
overwhelmed emotionally, I can’t manage friendships on top as well

Yes - unfortunately I have been one of those friends. It’s a coping strategy, albeit a bad one. That being said I’ve never blocked anyone, that’s a step too far in my opinion.

Thankfully things have improved and I no longer do it but please be kind and supportive to your friend when they decide to resurface, they really do need you and will be feeling awful about the situation.

I am like this due to many factors inc trauma. Replying to a message becomes another source of pressure and overwhelm during a hard time. I would remove the pressure with a message prefaced by something like 'no need to reply to this.' That will actually increase chances of engagement as the added pressure is removed

I find it very difficult to manage relationships and during really difficult times I’ve definitely cut myself off until reached out to.

I’m not saying that’s right, and I’ve lost a lot of friends that way. But I honestly struggle to spread myself, and “deal” with the difficult thing.

I have one friend a bit like this. She's lovely but won't talk to anyone when she's struggling, just shuts down. I've learnt now to leave her alone.

I have friends like this too, sorry I have no advice - it's hard