Do you have friends who ignore/block you (or everyone) during periods of emotional overwhelm?

No, I don't have any friends like this.

I don't block, but I do tend to ignore.

When I have made the fact I am struggling public before, I get overwhelmed with the messages and offers of help etc. People seem to want replies and updates, and I just can't manage with it all.

So, I just hide for a while. It is very hard to put myself back out there though.

Yes, i have a friend who's done this for the 25 years I've known her. She also moved 200 miles away from everyone she knows to then complain that she's lonely.

I do respect that. That’s precisely the point I made in both my posts. I’m simply saying that noone tells you want to do in that situation. Ignoring someone who is very clearly in need of support goes against human instinct, but you have to do it or you’ll get pushed even further away.

Shut down is a coping mechanism in the short term or it's also a symptom of trauma.
It's not about you it's an attempt to cope. Sometimes it's easier to shut down communication than to deal with the uncertainties and insecurities

I have a family member who sends out WA broadcast or statuses to not contact her.

We've recognised it's usually a cry for help so will wait a few days then send, flowers, food or offer to have her kids for the weekend/holidays.

We realised it's not about us, so give her space to deal with whatever it is, and leave room for her when she re-emerges.

Me. When overwhelmed, what’s to say. No one can help. Only time and quiet helps, in order to process and come to terms with the overwhelming feelings..

I go quiet but don’t block. I know I need to process my thoughts and figure stuff out myself without having to worry about others opinions or emotions. I’d hope friends would be understanding of this.

I don’t like how always available we’re expected to be now. Some of my closest friends I’ll maybe see every couple of weeks or once a month with very little messaging in between which works for me. I think I’d struggle with a friendship that required constant messaging.

I am that friend! I struggle hugely to reach out when things get too much! It is not because I do not value the friendship but just that I cannot cope

While I understand and share the feeling of not always being able to respond to messages etc, I find it very hard when particular people are too overwhelmed to message or meet up for long periods but then expect immediate resumption of close friendship when they feel like it. It can feel like a one way street which isn't how friendships or relationships should really be.

Absolutely this. I'm amazed that you've made this about you, tbh.

There is nothing to handle I just understand and let them be and not make it about me

Also all of this.

This.

I'm one of those people and I have absolutely zero headspace left to deal with anything, but the essential. All I want of an evening is to switch off with mindless TV...

I'm probably this friend at times of stress or when I'm unwell or feeling down. It's not a personal slight to my friends, it's just that I cope better by processing my feelings myself before talking about it endlessly. I need time to figure out how I feel about something and make my plan of action to move forward without others' influence.

I find constant WhatsApp's and messages from friends a bit much even when I'm feeling good! I've got a really full on job and two young kids, a house to run and a husband to try and connect with... I can't do all that and message about the minutiae of my day on a WhatsApp group!it overwhelms me. So if I'm stressed or down that overwhelm just leads me to switch off from all that for a while - and I don't actually think it's a bad thing.

I do this. I can't really help it, it's how I cope with stressful times. I don't go no contact with everyone, but low contact with my wider circle of friends. It isn't great and I feel bad for it, but my good friends understand that it is in no way personal.

I'm like this: if my life is stressful for whatever reason, communicating with others is the first thing to go. Looking at my phone and seeing WhatsApp messages, Instagram DMs, missed calls, etc, to reply to when I'm already overwhelmed is just too much - I don't think we're meant to have as much stimulation and constant access by people as we do, and I think it's probably borderline unhealthy that we have so much access to other people all the time!

Having said that, I would understand if my friends weren't happy with having a friendship where we can go a chunk of time without speaking - thankfully my closest friends know that I am always, always available if they need me and would be there in a heartbeat if something big happened but that otherwise if I go quiet I'm probably dealing with something and I'll check in when I've got the mental capacity to do it.

My sister is like this.

I am desperately worried about her. I love her. I am her older sister and I long to take care of her, support her, help her in some way, make it better in some way, laugh with her even bitterly, cry with her, share her pain, do something that lets her know she isn’t alone. But I can’t , because she has retreated again.

I frequently have nightmares about my little sister being lost and abandoned and hurt.

All I can do is try to accept that this is how she wants to deal with her feelings.

but really I don’t know how long I can stand it and there may come a time when I pull back to protect myself as well.

I wouldn't block or completely ignore friends but if I'm stressed then I definitely take a step back from them and don't feel I have the time or emotional energy to deal with responding to lots of messages

I have friends who I know behave the same so we all give each other space as needed

If I'm struggling then I don't want to get lots of "are you ok" messages, I want to be left alone!

I had a close friend like this once. Unfortunately I took it personally and the friendship never really recovered. I now realise I should have talked to her about how she was feeling. I wish I could go back.

Yes. People who hate asking for help or hate bringing other people down tend to do this. As do people with no energy left due to whatever is going on in their life.

Yes I have a few friends like this and can be a bit like this myself, it’s survival mode often. I just always keep checking in on them via text, let them know I’m still there and not going anywhere, when they are ready they always come back.

I detest being harassed by my friends when I am having mental health challenges and have communicated I need space, the last thing I need is to manage how they are feeling. People deal with things in different ways and it's important to respect that.

Mental health support campaigns always focus on speaking to your friends if you’re worried about them. Asking twice. Encouraging them to talk. With the idea that once you’ve been for a walk together and they’ve opened yo they’ll feel loads better.

Nothing prepares you for when a friend replies that yes they have serious mental health problems but they don’t want to see or hear from you and if you try to contact them they’ll just ignore you.

I have a friend like this too. We’ve not known each other that long - about 5 years. We’ll go through periods of speaking daily then she will go quiet for weeks or months. She’s quite upfront about it. It used to bother me a lot and I’d worry I’d done something wrong. Now I generally just leave her be but send her messages and post so she knows I’m there. I continually try to tread the fine line between caring and pissing her off, with a side worry that one day she will try to end her life. She is a hard person to be friends with. It would be so much easier if she was continually asking for help. But it isn’t about me so I just have to roll with it.

There was a time a few years ago when I could really have done with her support. She knew what a hard time I was having, but didn’t step up. Whether she was having a hard time herself or just couldn’t be bothered with me, I’ll never know. But that’s definitely impacted our friendship on my side at least.