Fiancé has agreed to be a Guarantor - I’m not happy

What do you mean "each to their own"? That's utterly meaningless. I don't disagree with the majority of your latest comnent, except it has nothing to do with what I challenged you on, namely, your erroneous statements that OP's fiance accused her of being "controlling and disrespectful" - he didn't. Acknowledge that, instead of obfuscating.

Well each to their own but I'd be making sure partner wouldn't be putting me in a situation like this again... which would take months or years to rebuild trust with finances with something so serious. Especially illy with family complaining. Family won't disappear unfortunately, op will have to be involved with family still.

I'm not as trusting though as I think a majority of men are always reckless with women when it comes to stuff like this. Or think they know better or have right to make decisions for other people... but maybe I am tainted by past life experiences and been unlucky.

Just saying op should tread very carefully with regards to finance, which marriage is a big chunk of.. Moving forwards. Op when married, partner and family will be entitled to a lot more if puts in situation like this again.

@Hedgewitch123 Her final post to date says:
"workworkbloodywork · 18/09/2024 17:29
Oh no my DF is fully behind me and grateful for my input in highlighting what he was signing up from and knows how his DS can behave and told me he corrected them when they raised this to him.
It appears him not agreeing to plans straight away and checking with me as I do to him when invited to things is controlling - I see this as common curtesy in a relationship but hey, she can have her opinions and can have her DB so I guess we’re both winning."
It's clear the "controlling and disrespectful" comments came from her fiance's sister and BIL, not her fiance himself.

No, HE doesn't say she's controlling and disrespectful - his sister and BIL have - and who cares what they think?

This issue of him and his family claiming g she is controlling and disrespectful definitely needs sorting before she marries into such a situation.

So disrespectful... of him and them Wtf. Op, you did everything right. They are actually controlling and disrespectful expecting you to be put in this position and be ok with it!

It IS sorted out. If you'd read all of OP's posts you'd know this. Like this one:

workworkbloodywork · Yesterday 17:20
So he has written confirmation from the letting agent that he is no longer the guarantor and I have seen this and feel satisfied that he has managed to get out of it that it won’t implicate me financially in any way.

I'm well aware of that, but that's not what the previous comments were about.

100% this.

Them saying you are controlling is shorthand for "You are stopping us manipulating him because he is a soft touch who has always given in to our emotional blackmail and we dont like it that the gravy train as been derailed".

Don't get married until this is sorted out. If he took this on without your agreement, then the responsibility is all his, with his money not yours or shared funds. Sorry, what a shame!

OP, his family are kicking off because you are a fly in the ointment for them - they are realising they can't just exploit your fiancè's generous nature anymore because you are looking out for what's really good for him! Hence the accusations of controlling. They just don't like it that they can't exploit him anymore.

It’s really concerning to see so many posters willing to, as you say, ‘do it in a heartbeat’ while clearly demonstrating they know next to nothing about the consequences and care little about the potentially devastating effects on their own/partners finances

Especially when some of the very same folk blame everyone else when it all goes wrong

Okay so not everyone understands the ins and outs, but if you can type an online moan you can use the same computer to research - and yet it's all "Ooooo how could I have known"

Totally.
The "in a heartbeat" crew are very much the " not the brightest button in the box" crew🙄.

Because they wouldn't be able to get any accommodation in a lot of cities.

I don't think landlords would accept that and I certainly don't think the other guarantors would accept one parent getting out of being a guarantor just because they had more money and could afford six months in advance. What would happen if there were any damages?

Yes it does mean that I am potentially liable for the whole lot but I would hope to be able to negotiate with the other guarantors (or take them to court) to just pay my share if the landlord was unreasonable enough to sue me for the whole lot. There are guarantor insurance schemes which state that they help with this too.

Obviously there is a risk but the benefit of my children having accommodation is higher.

Why would they need to?

With his family do you mean?

Or him?

Yeah @Rosscameasdoody I would rather pay 6 months rent in advance than sign to be a guarantor. Basically when you sign to be a guarantor, you are signing an open-ended agreement, with an infinite amount of money to pay.

.

l would provide six/twelve months rent in advance - whatever satisfied the LL and l would expect my child to put away the equivalent amount during that time so that the next year was paid for. Acting as guarantor for your child in this situation often means you’re liable for the whole of the rent, not just your childs’ contribution. Not an option.

This. ^ All I think when I see 'I would do it in a heartbeat' is 'LOL, what a mug!' Some people are utterly clucking clueless! I swear that some people think being a guarantor is exactly the same as giving a reference!

Doesn’t matter whether their finances are separate or not. OP has already said DF wouldn’t be able to cover the costs if they defaulted on the rent. That implicates OP - and even more so once they are married, as they’re financially linked. Credit searches would be carried out on OP’s address and him acting as guarantor could impact any mortgage application/renewal. It’s a big financial commitment, and not one to be made unilaterally if you’re in a relationship.

Meh, she's marrying him, not his family. It sounds like they have a good relationship given his loyalty to OP in discussions with his sister and BIL and listening to OP's concerns in this matter (if he didn't understand the value of waiting for OP's input before, he's certainly shown he does now).

Ha, well their opinion can be disregarded straight away - it's just a show of petulance because they didn't get what they wanted. I'm very happy to hear this hasn't come between you and DF and he recognises you did him a favour (and just as importantly, will have taught him that these sort of decisions should absolutely always be JOINT). Well done OP. 😃

The LL can't take more than 5 weeks deposit but they can accept rent in advance. My nephew paid a whole years rent in advance after he was made redundant. He got another job in 2 months but LL did not know he would get another job easily.

Do you have separate finances or combined? If combined I can see he should have discussed it with you first. If separate finances at the moment it's up to him as he has only put himself as guarantor. She is his sister and he obviously trusts her to pay the rent.