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Original poster

Husband kicking off over bath

319 replies

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 18:37

So my husband loves a bath. Loves it!!! But we have one toilet in our house. For a while now I’ve said the second you’re ready to get in let me go to the loo so as to give him the longest time in there before I’m busting again.

tonight it’s all kicked off as I said can you not lock the door as I might be busting. Firstly to fully disclose we’ve been drinking so it goes through me like water, secondly I have a suspected water infection so when I need to go I NEED TO GO. He went nuts saying what’s changed in the 15 years and I should be able to wait 25 mins. Yes maybe I should, maybe I can wait an hour or even two but what if I need to go!!! I said I wouldn’t just burst in I would knock but no apparently I lock the door when I shower FOR 10 minutes so he should be able to bathe for 25. I get he likes a bath but ffs should I have to beg for the right to access to the loo. Am I nuts???

OP posts:
Peaceandquietandacuppa · 15/09/2024 19:53

Is there no curtain he can pull around to give privacy if you need to pop in??

ThisBlueCrab · 15/09/2024 19:53

Perimenopausal here too, I also have several damaged nerves that impact my ability to hold my wee.

However, he is asking for less than half an hour, you need to work on your mental focus. I strongly suspect the issue is the fact you know you can't go is making you feel like you need to far more than you actually do.

Your dh could leave the door unlocked, but I there does need to be some privacy in a marriage.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 15/09/2024 19:53

Is it just the two of you? If so I find all this locking the door really strange. I live with my DH and two little ones and it’s laughable to think of having a bath with no interruptions 😂

Ineedaholidayyyy · 15/09/2024 19:52

One bathroom household here. My partner loves a long soak in the bath too, and much longer than 25 mins,.normally about 1 hour. Sometimes I will need to pee whilst he's in there, I have a weak bladder. It's never been an issue, I'm in and out in less than a minute.

Completelyjo · 15/09/2024 19:52

localnotail · 15/09/2024 19:50

She is entitled to do a wee in her own house when she needs it

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That’s not how it works in a shared bathroom though. If you go before someone is using the bathroom, you can’t just then demand to take over a mere 15 mins later.
A 25 minute bath is hardly long.

Sugarsugarahhoneyhoney · 15/09/2024 19:51

25 mins to have a bath in peace is not a lot to ask.

allmyliesaretrue · 15/09/2024 19:50

Foxxo · 15/09/2024 19:36

we used to let people know to use the bathroom if a bath was about to happen.

Its no issue to say 'i'm going to have a bath, go now if you need to go' then you go pee, and he gets the bathroom for his bath.

Its entirely unreasonable to expect someone to leave the door unlocked while they have a 25 minute bath (maybe 35 with bath running time) just 'incase' you need to pee. You're a grown adult, you shouldn't be THAT unable to control your bladder that you can't hang on while he has a bath.

God you have a lot to learn!!

localnotail · 15/09/2024 19:50

AhBiscuits · 15/09/2024 19:49

So what if he is? He's entitled to privacy.

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She is entitled to do a wee in her own house when she needs it

EveryOtherNameTaken · 15/09/2024 19:49

Just wee somewhere else. He's entitled to an interrupted 25 mins.

SweatySpaghetti · 15/09/2024 19:49

25 minutes isn’t a long time at all. I think worth exploring with a GP if you’re so desperate that you can’t wait that long. I do understand knowing you can’t go in and use the toilet because the door is locked makes you want to need the loo more- but even still, 25 minutes shouldn’t be a problem.

Me and dh don’t lock the door and wouldn’t mind if the other needed to pop in for a wee, sometimes we even sit and chat to each other whilst we’re having a bath but I know that’s weird! lol

LuckySantangelo35 · 15/09/2024 19:49

Newtrix · 15/09/2024 19:31

This has blown my mind! Why on earth would you lock the door to shower?

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@Newtrix

to have a shower wank maybe?

hardly a crime.

Purplecatshopaholic · 15/09/2024 19:49

Just the knowledge I couldn’t go to the loo would make me need to go, lol. I’m another one who doesn’t get why you don’t just keep the door unlocked - we never lock doors ever. But I couldn’t live in a house with only one bathroom anyway..

AhBiscuits · 15/09/2024 19:49

localnotail · 15/09/2024 19:47

Why can't you come in and wee when he is in the bath? Why is he locking the door, is he wanking there?

So what if he is? He's entitled to privacy.

localnotail · 15/09/2024 19:49

I only lock the door when there are other people in the house (not family). Otherwise, why?...

allmyliesaretrue · 15/09/2024 19:48

llamalines · 15/09/2024 19:26

The OP isn't saying she needs to wee every 25 minutes, or every time he has a bath. Why are people interpreting it like that?

She's saying if her need to wee coincides with her DH's bath, then waiting 25 minutes could be a problem.

She might not have been for hours before that.

Edited
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That's why I reckon the OP should go before his bath. Though it's probably not good for your bladder to go when you don't really need to. I always go before I leave the house though.

AgileGreenSeal · 15/09/2024 19:48

Get a potty.

Foxxo · 15/09/2024 19:48

why wouldn't you lock the door when you're in the bathroom, keeps everyone out, including the kids bursting in on you.

I don't want them in there either.

localnotail · 15/09/2024 19:47

Why can't you come in and wee when he is in the bath? Why is he locking the door, is he wanking there?

tireddogmum · 15/09/2024 19:47

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This has been deleted by MNHQ while we check out the OP.

NoodleNuts · 15/09/2024 19:47

Pibrea · 15/09/2024 19:44

I can’t believe how many married people are locking the door when they bathe/shower.

Not unreasonable of you at all but mainly just weird you both lock yourself in there!

Why is it weird? I always lock the door when I'm in the bathroom, whether I'm on the loo or in the bath/shower. It's probably just a habit that I've gotten into over the years.

DeclineandFall · 15/09/2024 19:47

I'm presuming he wants a wank in the bath and doesn't want anyone walking in. Which is fine.

Cerealkiller4U · 15/09/2024 19:46

Sparklywhiteteeth · 15/09/2024 19:42

You do understand we are all grown ups and we understand what sex is. And we also I would habe assume all have consummated our marriages. Having sex with someone doesn’t mean we want to piss or shit in front of them. Respect others boundaries.

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Respects each others choice then 😂

pot…..kettle…..black

😂😂😂

OneFastCat · 15/09/2024 19:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

allmyliesaretrue · 15/09/2024 19:45

Seriouslyhowcouldyounot · 15/09/2024 19:13

Oh and perimenopause is no joke. I can do several hours between pees or seemingly every 20 minutes 🤷‍♀️

Some of these posters don't have a clue!

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 15/09/2024 19:45

@Seriouslyhowcouldyounot Hey I have three bathrooms and if they are all occupied, I have still had to run out and pee in the garden with the dogs!!! 😃

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