DH stormed out because my DD was shouting mummy

If this is genuinely a one off on your part yes he is overreacting

By going in ONE TIME 🙄

What did your toddler want in the end ?

You've taught your daughter that Daddy doesn't have responsibility when getting her to sleep. Yes, you've undermined him. You'll be complaining when he leaves you to it.

No text book to being a parent unfortunately cause I need it myself.
We are forever learning OP, You're going a Great job, don't be so hard on yourself x

The amount of people on here accusing the mother of ‘undermining’ the father is bizarre. It’s not a workplace. It’s meant to be two parents doing the best for their child not a project management meeting.

Agreed

Take a step back OP

Either it's him doing it or u .....
If it's him, let him do his thing .....
Now DD knows she can shout for u and u will come .....

If u wanted to do some thing -U should have peeped in so only he sees u and asked if he needs u!

Kids will shout for the other parent for this exact reason, you were undermining him and if he is putting them to bed you need to leave him to it

If she’s calling for mummy then it’s mummy she wants / needs.

His ego is bruised and he’s feeling rejected.

.

Also your thread title is incorrect. He didn’t walk out because your toddler shouted “mummy.” He walked out because you really pissed him off by undermining him.

Yes you are undermining him. You say that you 'can't do anything right at the moment', but actually it sounds as if you're acting like he can't do anything right. If you trust him to be able to deal with his own child, why instantly go rushing in when she calls for you? It makes it look like you think he's incapable, and it will encourage her to keep doing it rather than settle when he's putting her to bed.

Honestly @Babybirdmum, that sort of response is bordering on abuse. You’re trying to shut him down and guilt him for making any comments or criticism because you’ll play the “woe is me” card.

What he said was a fair criticism and you are the one in the wrong here. You need to listen to that, and to the response you got here and just accept it, apologise and find a way forward with better communication. You cannot start with the “oh, so everything I do is wrong then,” response. It’s not fair, it makes it impossible to discuss anything and shows you with actually listen or apologise when you are wrong.

“It all feels a bit controlling to me” yes, it is. And you’re the one doing it.
thw fact that you can’t even see why he’s annoyed about this speaks volumes. You should have left him to it. He will never be able to get the toddler settled by himself if you do this.

You are undermining him massively. She gets to eek out bedtime and control the situation. It is you who are being controlling. Let him get on with it.

If my toddler was shouting Daddy I'd know full well it would be a play on trying to stay out of the bed longer, as the Mum trying to get them to sleep I'd deal with the situation and Dad wouldn't need to come in to make the bedtime even longer.

Try not to give it too much headspace, you’re probably both knackered. Nobody did anything especially heinous.

I don’t understand why he’s got so angry for coming seeing if she’s ok when she’s crying mummy’s

Why wouldn’t she be okay? She’s with her father, not screaming alone.

He said I am undermining him

He’s not wrong, you’re even moaning about the way in which he’s putting her down for a nap being wrong.

but I don’t see how. It all feels a bit controlling to me

Interesting.

You're undermining him, it's annoying.

Assuming it’s the first time it’s happened, I’d probably have done the same. He will have thought you were overstepping and undermining him, because you were but it wasn’t intentional.

I would just say you’re sorry and next time you’ll wait for him to call for you if he needs you. His reaction was a bit much though, so hopefully he apologises too.

Your child is calling for you and you’re being given shit on here for going to her? Ridiculous.

we tag team constantly during bedtimes and other times. If all is going well with one of us then generally the other keeps away. If it’s not and a child is calling for me, ill
go in and my partner buggers off. It really isn’t that serious.

You're undermining him. If she really needed you I'm sure he would have let you know. You used to be angry when he came in, there's no difference.

I don’t get the responses here. If my child was calling for me I’d go in. And my husband wouldn’t storm out angrily!

Then you and your DP need to come up with some signals - when to step in and when to step back.

I would have definitely gone in if my child was shouting for me directly .

Anything could have been wrong
Your husband could have passed out or fallen.

Also I know someone whose grandad used to bath her and insist he could settle her. He is now a convicted child sex abuser.

I hear my child yelling for me, I go. I don't give a fuck whose feelings it hurts. It's too risky not to.