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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am BU, but why?

135 replies

Falsenegative · 15/09/2024 13:36

My mother died suddenly of a heart condition a year ago.

Two of my cousins are fundraising for the British Heart Foundation. They’ve just done a lengthy run for it. I don’t know why, and I know I’m being completely unreasonable, but it annoys me. I can’t stand it coming up on social media and I haven’t donated. My sister and father post supportive comments so it’s definitely problem. Why does it annoy me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Falsenegative · 15/09/2024 13:46

offyoujollywelltrot · 15/09/2024 13:44

You're posting negatively about it on Mumsnet.

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Anonymously.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 15/09/2024 13:45

Sorry for your loss. You must have some idea why....

My thoughts...

Do you feel like they are jumping in on your grief by doing this? I'm thinking a kind of, she was my mum, not theirs so why are they doing this?

Or

This is just giving you a constant reminder of her death?

Grmumpy · 15/09/2024 13:45

Perhaps it’s because your mum died and your cousins are running. Also perhaps they enjoy running anyway so it feels like they are virtue signalling. Perhaps say lovely idea cousins . I have already made a donation directly MacMillan or BHF . Grief is a strange thing so don’t beat yourself up.

Cantalever · 15/09/2024 13:45

Maybe you are not sporty, so are a bit jealous of the fact that they are able to do this. Or perhaps you are feeling low (not surprising), and resent their energy in getting this done. Or maybe you have unresolved negative feelings about your DM. Whatever the cause, be kind to yourself, and get therapeutic help if needed. Do you have other close relatives or good friend you could talk this through with.

Putting · 15/09/2024 13:44

Is it that you feel if anyone should be fundraising it’s your immediate family rather that your cousins?

offyoujollywelltrot · 15/09/2024 13:44

Falsenegative · 15/09/2024 13:43

I think you’re being a bit of a dick. I haven’t said anything negative to them at all.

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You're posting negatively about it on Mumsnet.

Original poster
Falsenegative · 15/09/2024 13:43

poppyzbrite4 · 15/09/2024 13:42

You're cantankerous.

I think you’re being a bit of a dick. I haven’t said anything negative to them at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Falsenegative · 15/09/2024 13:42

WingSluts · 15/09/2024 13:41

Whatever the reason is, it’s totally irrational as that’s a lovely thing for them to have done.

Well, yes, that’s what I said in the post. I know it’s irrational, but why?

OP posts:
poppyzbrite4 · 15/09/2024 13:42

You're cantankerous.

WingSluts · 15/09/2024 13:41

Whatever the reason is, it’s totally irrational as that’s a lovely thing for them to have done.