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Original poster

To think it's ridiculous to fall out over a Facebook post ?

161 replies

Doggomom91 · 15/09/2024 12:52

I posted on here yesterday as my mom and I had an argument on the last day of our holiday. It basically ended with me saying, apologise for your part in this argument (that she started) or I'm done with you both. As a result I said she will miss out on her granddaughter growing up. This was really not nice of me to say, but she was giving me the silent treatment and acting like a kid so I said whatever I could to get a reaction. She had been goading me all afternoon.

My mom has a real issue with admitting when she's in the wrong and is as stubborn as mule. I'm 33 with a 5 month old little girl and my parents and I have always been close, but my mom can be needy and a bit emotionally controlling. I don't think I need to go into that here, I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable. I don't think I am.

So after this argument we travelled back from holiday not talking, and the day afterwards I put my usual holiday Facebook post with a few snaps. There were none of my parents (my mom refuses to be in photos 90% of the time and obviously they were all of my precious baby on her first holiday!) and I didn't tag anyone in the post, not even my husband.
I texted her the same morning to apologise for my part in the argument and the nasty things I said, but asked if she could accept that she started it over nothing. She could not, and she said "agree to disagree". I reluctantly agreed. I'm fully aware that if I hadn't have made the first move, she wouldn't not have messaged me. Later on in the day, she texts me to say that she "hurt" because I didn't mention in my post that she and my dad were on holiday with us. My post was "lovely holiday with my little family". I explained we weren't talking at the time I posted, plus I haven't tagged anyone and there's no pictures of them to tag. She ignored that message and now we aren't talking. I actually feel a bit more relaxed now I'm having a break from her if I'm honest but I'm sad it's ended this way and don't see a way back.

AIBU to think it's pathetic for my mom to abandon myself and her granddaughter for the sake of a Facebook post?

OP posts:
Original poster
Doggomom91 · 15/09/2024 12:59

sonjadog · 15/09/2024 12:55

Has she actually abandoned you? According to your post, she just said she was hurt and now you aren't talking. Not that you never, ever will again.

Edited

Pretty much, she started a similar argument with my brother and they don't talk for a year.

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 15/09/2024 12:58

I think you are both adults, and this whole thing is a bit childish.

It is possible, to have a disagreement and nobody having to “admit” they were wrong.

It’s also the Adult thing to do, to know when to leave something, and not keep on with a fruitless argument.

Histrionics like “you’ll never see your grand children grow up” add nothing.

Maybe nobody needs to win, and nobody needs to lose, and you all need to learn to manage conflict better.

Original poster
Doggomom91 · 15/09/2024 12:58

Trickabrick · 15/09/2024 12:55

Didn’t you post this yesterday?

No, I posted about the initial argument (see first line of post)

OP posts:
LadyInDecline · 15/09/2024 12:57

You both sound ridiculous!!

CuriousGeorge80 · 15/09/2024 12:57

Your FB post does read as intentionally spiteful. “My little family” implies you were there with your partner and child only. It seems pretty intentional given the context.

So I agree with PP that you both sound as bad as each other.

Original poster
Doggomom91 · 15/09/2024 12:57

Mrsttcno1 · 15/09/2024 12:55

Honestly I think you both sound as bad as each other here. Threatening your mum with not seeing her grandchild over a silly argument is way OTT.

Okay so it wasn't a silly argument at all. She said some awful things to my husband and about his parents without any provoking. Also yes, I clearly acknowledge in my post that what I said was wrong, and I apologised. Did you read it?

OP posts:
SquirrelMole · 15/09/2024 12:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

sonjadog · 15/09/2024 12:55

Has she actually abandoned you? According to your post, she just said she was hurt and now you aren't talking. Not that you never, ever will again.

Bluevelvetsofa · 15/09/2024 12:55

I think it’s a mountain out of a molehill and you’ve both behaved badly.

Trickabrick · 15/09/2024 12:55

Didn’t you post this yesterday?

Mrsttcno1 · 15/09/2024 12:55

Honestly I think you both sound as bad as each other here. Threatening your mum with not seeing her grandchild over a silly argument is way OTT.