To think it's ridiculous to fall out over a Facebook post ?

Sounds like your mum can be petty and childish and you are following suit. Many people would be grateful to have parents/children still alive rather than wasting their time playing games and getting involved in drama. You both need to grow up.

Think you're getting a bit of a roasting here OP but I read your original thread and your mum did sound really unpleasant and difficult. Maybe the Facebook post was a bit goady, but I think you'd have got a bit more support here if you'd given more context about the initial argument.

Agreed. No one is in the right here.

I agree with this. I think many of us model the behaviours of our parents in arguments - or go the opposite way. Maybe spend some time thinking about how you want to react next time so these types of arguments happen less and you don’t end up feeling bad afterwards.

Also - I do think your mum sounds difficult to get along with and you did try to make things better, so you did well with that.

I saw lots of attack on you and wanted to give you some support. It seems to me as if you wanted to offer an olive branch but she wasn’t ready to accept it so carried it on with the argument. Having grown up in this environment, you are so used to joining back in and find it difficult not to.
A great piece of advice I’ve been given is that you don’t need to go to every argument you are invited to. Try and find a phrase to buy you some time if your dm tries to start an argument. Or a way of deflecting. Don’t try and reason with her or make her see sense or explain your side of things because that is arguing. Practise things like ‘oh I see’, ‘Right’, ‘interesting’, ‘anyway, how was the dog when you got back?’
Right now, I’d leave it a week, then phone to chat about something else as if nothing happened.

I read about the original argument and your Mum does sound a bit self centred, needy and jealous.
The way you are handling it sounds counter-productive. You need to ignore and starve the drama not fuel it.
You know what you threatened was OTT and you didn't mean it. Don't make threats that you don't want to carry out, only consequences that you are serious about.
The Facebook post was goady.
Grey rock and walking away would be more effective.
It doesn't sound like your Mum is someone you could have a reasonable discussion with.
Your proposed child care arrangements sound risky for a lot of further arguments.
Perhaps you could let the dusk settle and then tell her that there's no need to be so negative about your in-laws-they aren't in competition and it was embarrassing in front of your husband. If she goes off on one again I would step back.

YABU to write "my little family" it's really cringeworthy. What's with the "little" trend everyone started doing?

I think OP has been raised by a manipulative person and doesn’t know how to get what she wants without resorting to the same behaviour

I agree, but the likelihood is that this goes back further and the mum was raised that way too. Each one sees themselves as the victim and the cycle goes on.

Maybe she is awful, but I’m not surprised she was upset by the caption to your Facebook post. It reads as if you’re deliberately writing her out.

You should not have used your child as a weapon, children are not there for that, you need to grow up, also it sounds very spiteful that you didn't mention them in your Facebook post either.

I think OP has been raised by a manipulative person and doesn’t know how to get what she wants without resorting to the same behaviour.

They both need to grow up and see the bigger picture. Life is so much more than having a series of petty rows where the outcome has to be one party being right and the other one wrong.

pot kettle.

Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

If your dm is being rude about your dh then she deserves to be called out on it.
I wouldn't let the arguments escalate though.
Call her out, move on.

Blackmailing your mother to do as you wish or she doesn't get to see her granddaughter. You sure it's your mother that's the problem because from my view it's you,

It definitely doesn’t make them look clever to comment something nasty after op left that comment 😂

Although, I don’t think people who have ‘normal’ parents understand how difficult it is to communicate with/ have a relationship with an emotionally immature, manipulative parent. Easy to bitch about how childish/dramatic op was without witnessing her mum wind her up til she snapped so the mum could then act like the victim. My mums the same and it’s fucking exhausting.

You’re both pretty silly from reading your thread. If I was you and if you want a relationship with your mum, I’d send one last message just simply apologising for your part in the argument and leave at that and maybe see her rather a lot less. Then I’d never go on holiday with her again.

Aside from anything else YABU for using that twee wording.

Apologising wasn't "keeping up the drama".

Yes it is.

Also her 'abandoning' your DD is not different to you saying they'll not see her grow up.

You're both as bad as each other and are going to keep pushing each others' buttons with the self-righteousness and digs. Leave the DD out of it though.

Be really careful. Does your child need this nonsense? Walk away and don't say the mean stuff, give yourself and your child that gift.

As a mother, my daughter can get a bit tetchy over things and does offend me sometimes. I let it go with a silent response and then change the subject to current affairs to let it wash on by. Parents have more experience than fraught mums and should really give way to petty stuff unless the children are offensively rude.

100% this, ‘my child, my choice’ and private profiles are not good excuses, the pictures still get leaked and used even with private profiles.

Either way, you sound like you need a break from each other because you’re both winding each other up and sniping. It’s good that you apologised but I think some time apart for you both to reflect is a good idea. I am also concerned that you weaponised your daughter to try and get your way.

Is it always like this? Don’t really want this for the rest of your life?

You both sound petty and immature tbh.
And don’t weaponise your child in any circumstances, even when you’re angry. It’s dreadful behaviour.
I don’t know why you go on this holiday every year!

ah that old faithfull 'facebook' drama! you both sound ridiculous! start living in the real world instead of running to social media for digs and affirmation!