This is probably petty and pointless and but it's been on my mind for a while and not sure who else to ask about it.
My DSD is with us full time. Mum calls and texts weekly, and sees her (usually at very short notice) a 3 or 4 times a year- usually for a hour or two, never for overnight stays. This is all mum'a choice. There is a court order in place outlining regularity of contact and notice she has to give etc but she's never abided by it. Also she doesn't contribute to my DSD's upbringing in anyway besides to shower her with expensive gifts on her birthday and taking her out to fancy restaurants occasionally.
The issue is, on the occasions that my DSD sees her, she tells my DSD what to wear. She'll pick out her outfit, make a point of asking her if DSD has showered and brushed her teeth. One time she came to pick up DSD from the house- DSD had got dressed in a hurry after getting back from school- and mum told her to go in and shower and redress while she waited in the car outside.
I can't but feel this is a dig at me and my husband, almost like she's making an implicit suggestion that we're not taking care or her properly or paying attention to DSD's hygiene or appearance, which of course isn't the case.
AIBU to feel a little upset about this?