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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

237 replies

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:35

So he has a cold.
Took a Covid test and it was clear
He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself.
We were meant to go away today
Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes
Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all
So now he is playing on the computer upstairs
I'm honestly fuming
I've lost the train fare £70
Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel

Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:
saraclara · 15/09/2024 09:54

I'd have gone by myself. Genuinely. I love wandering round places like York on my own. You don't have to be joined at the hip.

Cherrysoup · 15/09/2024 09:53

Was he really rough? Mine had a cold last week, but he always really suffers, it wiped him out, he basically dozed all day (most unlike him) so going somewhere would have been awful for him. If he was well enough to play on the computer, I think I’d be a bit cross.

Ohdosodoffdear · 15/09/2024 09:52

I'd not want to go away with a nasty cold either, I'd rather be at home relaxing, having early nights etc.
You've "wasted" £70 on a train, but you'll be saving hundreds on accomodation, food etc by not going. So write it off as a dunk cost, or go alone / with a friend.
I cat imagine he's purposely caught a cold to annoy you.

Awfeck · 15/09/2024 09:52

He can look after himself. Op, why aren't you going anyway?

morbidd · 15/09/2024 09:51

Go on your own, then he won't do that in the future unless he's really ill. Plus minimises the risk of you catching it.

Harvestfestivalknickers · 15/09/2024 09:51

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Show quote history

He's got a fucking cold, not terminal cancer!

Hydrangea58 · 15/09/2024 09:51

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Show quote history

Where did the OP say he didn't want to cook for her?

Rubyupbeat · 15/09/2024 09:51

I would want to stay at home too. Most people when they are feeling rotten don't feel up to waking about as a tourist.

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

Harvestfestivalknickers · 15/09/2024 09:47

OP, he doesn't want to go but why does that stop you? I would be on that train enjoying 2 nights away, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, eating food cooked by someone else and not tolerating a snivelling man playing on his computer. Let me guess, he still expects you to cook for him?

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:48

Why would you want someone you love to be forced to travel when ill, rather than letting them rest and recuperate?!

(Plus you'd be forcing a cold on other train passengers.)

Harvestfestivalknickers · 15/09/2024 09:47

OP, he doesn't want to go but why does that stop you? I would be on that train enjoying 2 nights away, doing what I wanted, when I wanted, eating food cooked by someone else and not tolerating a snivelling man playing on his computer. Let me guess, he still expects you to cook for him?

DeliciousApples · 15/09/2024 09:46

Does he have a regular Sunday team online event in his gaming that he didn't want to miss?

If he does, he should have told you so as not to waste money.

Hotels need all the bookings they can get in this fragile economy so it's not just you that's affected by his decision.

Or is he genuinely under the weather and just fancies a day at home to recover?

I'd unplug the router and say 'yeah I got a message that (insert broad band company name) we're working in this area and we may be affected today.

See if he perks up and wants to go out.... !!

Musiclover234 · 15/09/2024 09:45

To be honest i get a cold once every blue moon and it’s always a full on awful one. Not just a sniffle or minor cold where you can crack on. Drains my energy and makes me feel like shit for a good couple of days.

I wouldn’t want to be traipsing round a busy city either when i’m like that.

Ilovelurchers · 15/09/2024 09:45

I fully understand why you are upset and disappointed.

However, it's not his fault he is poorly - it's just bad luck. He is quite right not to travel on public transport and spread his germs around if he has a cold - I would think less of him if he did that tbh. Trains are often crowded - what if he passed his germs to an elderly or vulnerable person?

Why don't you go alone? Then there is no harm done......

MintyNew · 15/09/2024 09:45

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

I don't blame him if he isn't feeling well. I wouldn't want to either

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2024 09:44

But why can’t you go by yourself OP?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 15/09/2024 09:43

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:40

I know colds are rubbish
I've had them whilst being away and I just got on with it
He went to work yesterday and you can bet he will be back on Wednesday cold or not.

Great that you got on with, not everyone can

And they can be at the worst for a day or two so might be just at the height right now with bad timing

Does he have form for cancelling on you like this?

Hydrangea58 · 15/09/2024 09:43

York is a great place to visit, even when it's cold. I really wouldn't want to travel if I wasn't feeling well, but why do you have to cancel?
If you can't find anyone to go with, then go on your own.
In fact, it might be better on your own. If you have booked a double hotel room, a friend probably won't want to share a double bed

DearGoldFish · 15/09/2024 09:43

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

and you’d want him to?

Kelly51 · 15/09/2024 09:43

Go yourself, or stay at home and catch his cold, I'd be on that train.

DearGoldFish · 15/09/2024 09:43

and you really think that otherwise everything is 👌 ?

FrostFlowers2025 · 15/09/2024 09:43

I am with your husband on this. It sucks sneezing constantly and being on a train and you make other people sick as well.

Tagyoureit · 15/09/2024 09:42

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:40

I know colds are rubbish
I've had them whilst being away and I just got on with it
He went to work yesterday and you can bet he will be back on Wednesday cold or not.

Work pays the bills though so not quite the same.

ShowOfHands · 15/09/2024 09:42

If he's ill, he's ill.

You don't mention that this is a pattern of behaviour or part of a wider problem. Or any more detail about whether he's suggested rebooking or if he's demanding you wait on him.

It's impossible to know if anybody is being unreasonable.

Work and leisure are also different.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 15/09/2024 09:42

There's some really nasty colds going around

When you feel really crap with it, you just want to sit and do comfort things like playing or sleeping or watching TV. Not walking around and being "on" all day

We went away last week and didn't do anything for a couple of days as we were getting over a cold which left us feeling rough. But we had a week so time after to do stuff.

Can you not get a train refund as the ticket wasn't used? Some do offer it.

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