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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

237 replies

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:35

So he has a cold.
Took a Covid test and it was clear
He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself.
We were meant to go away today
Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes
Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all
So now he is playing on the computer upstairs
I'm honestly fuming
I've lost the train fare £70
Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel

Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:
Iwasafool · 15/09/2024 10:12

Using public transport when you have a bad cold is selfish. I know my view is biased as if I get a cold it turns into a chest infection and so far this year I've had 4 lots of antibiotics, xrays and sputum tests as my chest infections get so bad. I would love everyone to keep their colds to themselves.

WickedStepmotherWasJustMisunderstood · 15/09/2024 10:11

I don’t understand how you can be angry. He doesn’t feel well. If there’s no pattern of this, he’s just telling you he feels poorly and would be shit company. Playing video games in bed vs walking around a city makes complete sense.

I think people fall into two camps with colds - those who can power through and those who can’t. You can, your DH can’t.

Itsdefinitelytimeforanamechange · 15/09/2024 10:10

I would def check the terms of your booking , to make sure you won’t be charged. Even though you’re paying on arrival, lots of hotels would still need some notice to cancel

RedDawg · 15/09/2024 10:09

If you can’t claim a refund on your train tickets, if they are delayed you might be able to get some money back on delay repay… There is a website where you can check if they were delayed https://www.recenttraintimes.co.uk// Only a thought….

Home Page - Recent Train Times

https://www.recenttraintimes.co.uk

LuckySantangelo35 · 15/09/2024 10:07

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2024 09:44

But why can’t you go by yourself OP?

@MinnieMountain

its not is it as when you’ve planned to go with a partner.

although OP’s husband does sound rather wet so maybe she would actually have a better time if she went on her own or with one of her mates 🥂

HappyDane · 15/09/2024 10:06

Ah what a shame you didn't fancy going on your own! I think if he's unwell it's fair to stay at home to be honest.

Snackpocket · 15/09/2024 10:06

I wouldn’t want to go on a city break if I had a cold either. Had one this week and just wanted to stay indoors.

You should be able to apply for a refund on the train tickets if not used. They usually take an admin fee but you might get something back.

HopefulllHolly · 15/09/2024 10:06

If it makes you feel better I’m near York and it’s absolutely miserable today - heavy rain. I wouldn’t want to be wandering around soaking wet and cold even if I wasn’t poorly. Hopefully he’ll make it up to you.

Tagyoureit · 15/09/2024 10:04

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2024 10:03

Did you read a different OP @Tagyoureit ?

No, tag malfunction, I've edited it now

MinnieMountain · 15/09/2024 10:03

Did you read a different OP @Tagyoureit ?

ShoopShoopShoopShoop · 15/09/2024 10:03

Why wouldn't you enjoy it in your own?

Surely you can wander round museums, shops etc and enjoy it without company?

Better that than some miserable dickhead who'd rather be moping about at home or missing out completely to be with a miserable dickhead who's going to mope around at home??

No need to be martyr in life.

brunettemic · 15/09/2024 10:01

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

Neither would I if I was feeling crappy. I’d much rather sit at home in front of a screen to be honest in that situation.

TwilightAb · 15/09/2024 10:00

I'm feeling pretty rubbish today with a cold but tbh if I'd planned a trip away I'd still go and make the best of it. I know that my dh, who also has the same cold, would as well. But then he absolutely hates the thought of missing out on anything planned.

morbidd · 15/09/2024 10:00

Just give it a go on your own. York is perfect for a solo trip.

Tagyoureit · 15/09/2024 10:00

@thehungryteacher How positively gross of you to travel feeling so ill, I wonder how many other people's holidays you ruined by travelling whilst so unwell.

Bellatrixpure · 15/09/2024 09:59

I went to York a couple of weekends ago and it’s so busy, and pretty cold. I wouldn’t want to be there if I was feeling unwell. So YABU for feeling annoyed with him for not wanting to go.

GladBluePigeon · 15/09/2024 09:59

thehungryteacher · 15/09/2024 09:55

I'd be very disappointed and hurt too.

What a wet man he is and also what an unkind and selfish thing to do.

If it's was the other way around you'd go

We went to Barcelona pre Covid with a horrendous cough and flu and had been off work the whole week. We did a lot of sitting in pubs and on the hop on hop off busses

Loafing about in a hotel.

Great. I wonder how many you shared your horrendous cough and flu with. Selfish arses.

PashaMinaMio · 15/09/2024 09:58

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

Actually, I hate to say it but I see his point.
A cold can make you feel pretty grim.

I went to Scotland for a week a couple years ago. I took a cold with me which blew up on the Monday and absolutely knocked me out. It was an awful holiday, I’d been looking fwd to it for months, but was completely wrecked.

I suppose he could offer to go halves on the aborted tickets? Would that ease your frustration?

GladBluePigeon · 15/09/2024 09:57

Floralspecscase · 15/09/2024 09:49

I definitely wouldn't marry someone who didn't want to cook for me when I was ill. How unpleasant.

Show quote history

This. Such an odd and mean thing to say.

saraclara · 15/09/2024 09:57

Holidays are sacrosanct in our family. There's no way I'd be letting him ruin a break that I'd been looking forward to. He clearly doesn't give a damn about how you feel.

Firenzeflower · 15/09/2024 09:56

I’d have gone without him. But at the very least I would go out today for the whole day and have a really good time. If he’s well enough to play on the computer - like so sad teenager - then he can look after the kids.

Didimum · 15/09/2024 09:55

If I was well enough to go to work there’s no way I would miss a getaway with my DH. I’d dose myself up with Beechams and make the most of it. My DH would too – of course this all hinges on ‘well enough to have gone to work’, which he has.

thehungryteacher · 15/09/2024 09:55

I'd be very disappointed and hurt too.

What a wet man he is and also what an unkind and selfish thing to do.

If it's was the other way around you'd go

We went to Barcelona pre Covid with a horrendous cough and flu and had been off work the whole week. We did a lot of sitting in pubs and on the hop on hop off busses

Loafing about in a hotel.

Original poster
railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:54

I wouldn't enjoy it on my own.
It's too last min to invite anyone else as my friends have kids with school tomorrow and they need to drop off etc

It's literally a cold
He has no cough
Just a runny nose
He managed a takeaway last night and has no issues playing fifa this morning.

I suggested he went and spent today in hotel relaxing and might feel better tomorrow
He said no he will feel the same

OP posts:
Spenditlikebeckham · 15/09/2024 09:54

Find an alternative travelling companion...