Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

Fair play to your husband. I think we need to normalise people staying in their homes instead of travelling and spreading their colds around unnecessarily. Completely unreasonable to be out in public coughing and sneezing on everyone, he should absolutely be staying home

He doesn't sound likely to be good company-you could have a better time without him.

It will be different but still good. He can join you tomorrow if feeling better.

(You might be expected to pay for the cancellation anyway)

They aren't losing hundreds or thousands of pounds. They are losing £70 and avoiding wasting money on a hotel when it isn't going to be a fun trip if he's feeling rough. Better to rebook, accept the £70 loss and have a good time when feeling well.

I can’t stand people who wallow over a cold. (Nor grown adults who fake, but that’s just me).

You should go without him.

I’m also with your husband on this one I’m afraid.

Love York but would have zero desire to go with a cold.

It’s one of those easy places you could go to anytime, so why go when you’re not feeling well. (As in, it’s not like missing Glastonbury or a flight or something.)

Oh the irony. At least stop calling other people unkind and selfish when you are the worst one yourself. But yeah, easier to jusy slink off..

It depends on an illness though.
If it was a man or a woman throwing up being sick and running to the toilet every 10 minutes, Id say of course stay in.
But a cold, come on. Really?

I'd have gone by myself! I don't ever fancy walking around when I have a cold to be honest, I do the stuff I have to do- working, stuff for DS but other than that unless it's a once in a lifetime thing I'd rather stay home and relax.

Yup. Are people really like this in real life I wonder? I have a son and a daughter. Is it only my daughter who is allowed to feel ill?

Pretty divisive

I'm not able to stay locked in because I have a cold and cough and lose £100s or £1000s of pound because of a cold?

Oh well I'll slink off... forgot this was AIBU.

MN is totally bizarre at times. Anyone suggesting a trip when they aren't well is usually castigated. If a woman was unwell and didn't want to travel her DH would be expected to stay at home with her, cook for her , look after the kids and so on. Man is ill its all go on your own dont do anything for him or what a wet blanket of course he should still go and infect every one else

It's not his fault that he is ill!

Sounds like he is well enough to look after himself safely (TFIC) why not go on your own and see how it is @railingsdown There is no language barrier York is a great city with lots to see and do. Why was York originally chosen for your break - somethingnhe wanted to do or something you wanted to do. I suspect that this is not the only time that your husbands feelings/wishes get put before your own.

The bigger question here is why on EARTH is anyone taking a Covid test in 2024!!!!!!!

He owes you £70 for the train fare and needs to cancel the hotel himself since it's his fault.

Then you go out with a friend or buy something nice.

Bloody hell.
Everyone lives in a different set of circumstances, but I cannot imagine myself or my husband feeling crap and walking around York....or anywhere.
And what's exactly wrong with preparing a meal for a spouse who doesn't feel good?

People like you are the reason I missed my dad's funeral, because I caught something so bad on a train on the way there that I physically couldn't get out of bed.

Try to lock in a new date in a few weeks.
Discuss and make the plan today.

You will enjoy it more when you are both well.

That’s not something to be proud of. Travelling with a ‘horrendous cough and flu’ is extremely selfish behaviour, you have absolutely no leg to stand on calling others selfish!

That trip would be heaven for me but then I love my own company. DSIL, for example, finds it difficult to be on her own & would be very likely to feel like you OP. Could your DM come with you maybe?

Gotta say, lotta selfish people who’d happily get on a train with a cold on this thread. I’d understand if travelling just by car, but trains/planes? Not cool.

Good for him, nothing worse than being stuck on a train with some bugger sneezing the whole time

Normal, caring people cook for someone who's ill with a cold. It's called being considerate and caring.

Why wouldn’t you enjoy York on your own?

If he’s generally flaky, maybe you should get more comfortable with having fun solo?

I would go, York is a lovely city to wander around, lots of things to see and do, plenty of nice places to eat. Let him stay at home wrapped in tissues and vapour rub while you enjoy what might be one of the last nice weather weekends of the year. Good book or pod casts for the train , pot of Yorkshire tea and a curd tart when you arrive.

You will enjoy it on your own, honestly, you will,and anyway, every woman should learn to relish their own company!