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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband cancelled 2 nights away because he has a cold...

237 replies

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:35

So he has a cold.
Took a Covid test and it was clear
He is sneezing and feeling sorry for himself.
We were meant to go away today
Last night he said "can we set off later tomorrow " I said yes
Then this morning he said he doesn't want to go at all
So now he is playing on the computer upstairs
I'm honestly fuming
I've lost the train fare £70
Luckily hotel was pay on arrival so I can cancel

Aibu to be annoyed ?

OP posts:
Maria1979 · 15/09/2024 12:16

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

I'm with your husband. If you were supposed to be walking alot it's tiring when you have a cold.

betterangels · 15/09/2024 12:15

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 12:12

Sorry, I was being facetious, @betterangels. I'm aware you're not the op.

Sorry! :) I'm a bit tired. Perhaps I need a weekend away ...

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 12:12

Sorry, I was being facetious, @betterangels. I'm aware you're not the op.

PinkMagpie · 15/09/2024 12:11

Just to echo previous posters who have said that you will be charged for the hotel unless you have cancelled it already.

For pay on arrival, you can cancel for free up to 24 hours before. After that they will charge the card details that you gave when you booked

betterangels · 15/09/2024 12:09

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 12:06

So not boasting about it on mumsnet then, @betterangels?

You understand that I'm not the OP and was agreeing with your point? I'm not boasting about anything.

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 12:06

So not boasting about it on mumsnet then, @betterangels?

betterangels · 15/09/2024 12:04

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 12:03

@betterangels, there's no way I would expect my husband to offer all this stuff because he felt ill! And I most definitely wouldn't. Man, I can sulk.when things get cancelled, but I'd be mortified if my disappointed sulking became something placate with frivolous financial gifts.

I'd be embarrassed at myself.

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 12:03

@betterangels, there's no way I would expect my husband to offer all this stuff because he felt ill! And I most definitely wouldn't. Man, I can sulk.when things get cancelled, but I'd be mortified if my disappointed sulking became something placate with frivolous financial gifts.

betterangels · 15/09/2024 11:58

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 11:42

So, if you're ever ill, will he get you to pay for the trip, buy a take away and give him some spending money?
Wow.
Also, learn to do stuff on your own instead of guiltily your poorly husband.

Exactly! Unreal.

betterangels · 15/09/2024 11:57

Happii · 15/09/2024 10:42

Why on earth would you be mad at him at all for this? He's been reasonable not wanting to slope around feeling like crap, and has also offered extra stuff to placate you.

Show quote history

Seems you got a pretty good deal out of making him feel unreasonable about being ill, OP. Win for you, I guess?

Tartantotty · 15/09/2024 11:53

Go on your own! Women should be more independent, but perhaps I'm being unfair. I say this as a recently single woman.

betterangels · 15/09/2024 11:51

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

Who would? Sounds miserable.

Take a friend or go alone.

JMSA · 15/09/2024 11:51

I'm a sturdy old packhorse when it comes to illness Grin
But honestly, a cold am have you feeling like shite ... even when it's not Covid Confused
However, I suspect you'd be more sympathetic if things between you were generally well, and he was known for making an effort. I appreciate that there can be a backstory to these things Flowers

AxolotlEars · 15/09/2024 11:47

If hes ill it's okay for him to say he doesn't want to go. If he's well enough to be on his own, I would've gone on my own or with a friend

Toottooot · 15/09/2024 11:45

The cold I’ve had the last week I would have bailed too. It’s nae affa fine.

Missflowerpots · 15/09/2024 11:44

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:40

I know colds are rubbish
I've had them whilst being away and I just got on with it
He went to work yesterday and you can bet he will be back on Wednesday cold or not.

Everone is different with a cold if i get one im in bed for a while.
Others just get on with it some cant.
His your husband not allowed to get ill.
Guilting him his not nice if it was you would it be different because you get on with it.

Seaside3 · 15/09/2024 11:42

So, if you're ever ill, will he get you to pay for the trip, buy a take away and give him some spending money?
Wow.
Also, learn to do stuff on your own instead of guiltily your poorly husband.

SquirrelMole · 15/09/2024 11:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

greencheetah · 15/09/2024 11:35

Missedvocation · 15/09/2024 11:20

Do you also test yourself for every other disease going?

Show quote history

Staff are not permitted to attend the office if they think they have anything contagious. As Covid is often asymptomatic, it seems prudent to test if there’s even a hint of illness.

Nobody I work with has a problem with supporting our unwell colleague in this way. It’s a bit odd to be so opposed to testing but you do you.

FunkSoulBother · 15/09/2024 11:34

Trains can be rescheduled for an admin fee of £10.

For any trips I book now I never do a non refundable rate.

Shadowbox7 · 15/09/2024 11:28

I wouldn't want to go either if unwell nor advocate going out spreading cold germs around to other people. 'Fuming ' about illness, v odd, plus an ill person would hardly be good company. 🤷‍♀️

Gogogo12345 · 15/09/2024 11:26

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:54

I wouldn't enjoy it on my own.
It's too last min to invite anyone else as my friends have kids with school tomorrow and they need to drop off etc

It's literally a cold
He has no cough
Just a runny nose
He managed a takeaway last night and has no issues playing fifa this morning.

I suggested he went and spent today in hotel relaxing and might feel better tomorrow
He said no he will feel the same

Hmm so you'd enjoy sitting indoors with DH playing games and whining about cold?

Seems no contest to me

ThorndonCream · 15/09/2024 11:25

I used to get really awful colds with my nose running like a tap. I know some people get a mild sniffle but, honestly, my colds were awful. I just wanted to curl up somewhere quiet to blow my nose in private and sleep it off. I wouldn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling awful either. (I am still wearing a mask on occasion in crowded settings so I haven't had a cold in years for which I am profoundly grateful.)

BobVanceVanceRefridgeration · 15/09/2024 11:23

I have a cold at the moment OP. I feel awful. I could easily spend the day sitting on my arse playing computer games and I will most definitely get a takeaway tonight

Neither are comparable to going away for the weekend.

It sounds like you have a plan for next weekend but I honestly think you're being quite unkind to be mad at him for being unwell.

I have some colds where I can get on with things and others (like this one) where it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades and my head is full of snot.

LBFseBrom · 15/09/2024 11:21

railingsdown · 15/09/2024 09:37

No other issues
He said he doesn't fancy walking around York for two days feeling like crap

I don't blame him, neither would I.

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