Page 5 | If you're sharing the cost of the meal there's certain things you don't go for

alpacachino · 2024-09-15T08:34:07+00:00

If you're out with a group and you usually split the cost of the meal you don't choose the mixed grill or the steak right? You stick to the main menu. Or AIBU and just grumpy at my brother in law

Bumbleebeetree · 15/09/2024 15:35

I agree with you. I find it so inconsiderate but don't feel I can say anything. We can't afford to eat out at the best of times but especially not if we're supplementing someone else's meal.

Woofwoofwoofgoesthewolfhound · 15/09/2024 15:32

Crushed23 · 15/09/2024 14:48

I’m guessing OP also calculates everyone’s petrol costs for travelling to the restaurant of choice, or babysitter costs. None of that is exactly fair, is it?

There are always incidental costs to socialising. Paying a little bit extra because someone in the group ordered a more expensive dish is one of them. Either deal with it, speak up (for the sake of £2…), or stop socialising with this particular group.

Sorry that is utter bollocks. I am generally VERY easygoing about bill splitting, petrol costs etc. But I completely understand where the OP is coming from. Its the fact that the BIL is having the most expensive options every single time and has never made even a half-hearted offer to chip in extra to cover it. It's not balancing out over time and he knows full well that other people are subsidising his meal and doesn't give a shit.

For me, that's what tips it into the CF territory.

Herewegoagainandagainandagain · 15/09/2024 15:23

If we are splitting and I want steak and noone else is having it I'll say when ordering, "I fancy a steak, I'll stick and extra £10 (or whatever) in when we split the bill".

If someone else goes for an excessively expensive dish I have no qualms saying "that sounds lovely, its a bit pricey though, how do you want to do the bill so its a fair split?"

Either that or each pays for their own.

People need to get less embarrassed taking about money if they feel someone is always taking advantage.

Gymnopedie · 15/09/2024 15:13

The question for me is would he order the mixed grill if he was paying for it or would he choose something cheaper.

He sounds like a CF - and not the nicest person generally - so I'm guessing this is about sticking it to the rest of the group.

Brefugee · 15/09/2024 15:08

Crushed23 · 15/09/2024 14:30

You can’t be serious? It’s only £2, and you say you eat out together around once a month. So it’s £2 a month…

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but it is 2 pounds per person. so it's 4 pounds a moth, 48 pounds over a year. That's quite a lot.

diddl · 15/09/2024 14:57

HeliotropePJs · 15/09/2024 14:52

This is why the concept of bill-splitting makes no sense to me. It seems like someone will nearly always end up feeling annoyed or taken advantage of. Unless someone has offered to cover the entire bill, it only seems fair for each person to pay for what they order. No more, no less.

I know.

I can't really understand why it's such a problem to pay for what you eat/drink without subbing someone else or them subbing you!

MartinCrieffsLemon · 15/09/2024 14:56

alpacachino · 15/09/2024 14:43

Yet he won't voluntarily pay the £12 or whatever more. He's getting out of paying loads over the year.

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But who's meal should he pay the difference between?
The person wirh the £8 salad or the person with the £15 fish and chips?
Should everyone have to pay the extra between the lowest price item and theirs??

SophiaJ8 · 15/09/2024 14:54

I wouldn’t be splitting bills with people like you.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 15/09/2024 14:53

alpacachino · 15/09/2024 10:22

Get to a wetherspoons, harvester or similar local pub and you'll find out

It's a bit rude to laugh at our venue choices.

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I've just looked up how much a mixed grill is at Wetherspoons and you definitely look insanely OTT complaining 🤣
It's less than I'd pay for a burger at a Beefeater for example

HeliotropePJs · 15/09/2024 14:52

This is why the concept of bill-splitting makes no sense to me. It seems like someone will nearly always end up feeling annoyed or taken advantage of. Unless someone has offered to cover the entire bill, it only seems fair for each person to pay for what they order. No more, no less.

Crushed23 · 15/09/2024 14:48

I’m guessing OP also calculates everyone’s petrol costs for travelling to the restaurant of choice, or babysitter costs. None of that is exactly fair, is it?

There are always incidental costs to socialising. Paying a little bit extra because someone in the group ordered a more expensive dish is one of them. Either deal with it, speak up (for the sake of £2…), or stop socialising with this particular group.

LifeExperience · 15/09/2024 14:48

You don't have to split the cost. Next time just inform everyone in advance that you will pay only your own bill and they can figure out the rest. If someone is taking advantage then take away the opportunity for them to do so.

Crushed23 · 15/09/2024 14:44

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Original poster

alpacachino · 15/09/2024 14:44

Moonshine5 · 15/09/2024 14:39

OP go to Sheesh in Mayfair the mixed grill is one of the cheaper menu items. There are a few Sheesh branches.

We can't afford to travel to Mayfair!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

alpacachino · 15/09/2024 14:43

Crushed23 · 15/09/2024 14:30

You can’t be serious? It’s only £2, and you say you eat out together around once a month. So it’s £2 a month…

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So for him if it's once a month he's saving £144 over the year

OP posts:

Original poster

alpacachino · 15/09/2024 14:43

DillDanding · 15/09/2024 14:17

Because it’s only £2! Unless you’re on your uppers, most people would not even register this paltry sum.

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Yet he won't voluntarily pay the £12 or whatever more. He's getting out of paying loads over the year.

OP posts:

diddl · 15/09/2024 14:39

It might only be £2 on everyone's bill but how much is it less for him per time than if the bill wasn't split?

Moonshine5 · 15/09/2024 14:39

OP go to Sheesh in Mayfair the mixed grill is one of the cheaper menu items. There are a few Sheesh branches.

Plantparent · 15/09/2024 14:34

alpacachino · 15/09/2024 14:14

It's adding about £2 to everyone's bill though. How is that fair

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I'm sorry but if you have to quibble over 2 quid, you can't afford to go out for a meal.

Crushed23 · 15/09/2024 14:30

alpacachino · 15/09/2024 14:14

It's adding about £2 to everyone's bill though. How is that fair

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You can’t be serious? It’s only £2, and you say you eat out together around once a month. So it’s £2 a month…

Matronic6 · 15/09/2024 14:28

DillDanding · 15/09/2024 14:17

Because it’s only £2! Unless you’re on your uppers, most people would not even register this paltry sum.

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I don't think it's anyone else's place to determine what is affordable to someone else.

Crushed23 · 15/09/2024 14:28

We always split, in my friendship groups / family.

If I pay more than what I ordered (and it’s rarely more than £10), I see it as a small price to pay for socialising with my nearest and dearest.

Thankfully everyone in my circle feels the same way. I would honestly hate to socialise with people with would quibble over £10.

mondaytosunday · 15/09/2024 14:25

Yea I'm not going to order the lobster special which is twice the price of everything else! If I really wanted it (or if I drank more than others) I'd throw in extra money.

Notreat · 15/09/2024 14:19

But maybe that's all that he likes from the menu.
I don't see the point of going out for a meal if you can't have want you want.
Having said that if I had three courses and everyone else had one I would pay the extra . Similarly if I was drinking alcohol and others weren't.
How much more expensive was BiLs meal? If only a couple of pounds and he didn't have any more courses than everyone else I would let it go. If his meal was much more expensive than everyone else's then I would expect him to contribute more

SeatonCarew · 15/09/2024 14:18

I'm a coeliac. If I'm not allowed to order a steak, I'm going to be on even slimmer pickings than usual.

However, I won't be ordering a starter or a pudding, and I never, ever let anyone else be out of pocket.