If you're sharing the cost of the meal there's certain things you don't go for

When the bill comes get in there first with 'let's all pay for ourselves' and be the first with the card reader (or even better, cash!) I reckon it would only take one go of this for him to start ordering less expensive things 😅

I agree with @ilovesooty

If I am going out for a meal, I will choose what I want to eat that time.
there have been times when I am looking at the cheaper meals because of my budget, and now I've got to a stage in my life where I can afford something more expensive if I fancy it.
But most groups I've ever gone out with go for splitting the bill roughly in proportion to what you have chosen.

If - as it seems 0 there is a pattern of one person in a group ordering something considerably more expensive on a regular basis, then just say "money's a bit tight this month - I'm only paying for what I'm eating / drinking this time as I can't afford to subsidise other people any more".

Well that's your problem to deal with.

Speak up about it
Pay just for what you're eating
Or stop going out to eat with them.

No point in silent resentment and doing nothing about it.

OP was fed up with his antics. I forget exactly but it went something like him ordering starters, mains, desserts and drinks when everyone else was ordering salads. At the end they said better to split.

Was the thread actually about him or was he just in a post?

I'm trying to find that post several months back about the guy that got his just desserts when he was taking advantage of bill-splitting.

It's not the rule

What's the "standard" menu?

If everyone starts having basic salads at £8 then do you not go for the £14 burger you want?

Using Wetherspoons menu as an example - Pub Classic menu. Cheapest meal, all day breakfast with drink, is £6.44 and the most expensive, fish or scampi with drink, is £11.61

Nearly £6 difference. Would it be cheeky to order the scampi if someone orders the all day breakfast? Even the next meal about the All day breakfast is about £3 more...

Well
You are being pedantic about it...

I'm with you OP, I'm sure my DM told me when I was young if I was sharing a meal then I should pick from the middle price ranged sector and particularly so if someone else was treating me so burger or pizza, rather than steak.

I started a similar thread a few years ago. Used to go out with a big crowd of ex work colleagues. We went to a middle priced chain and generally had dough balls for starters and pasta or pizza for main oh and shared some rather unpleasant white wine. Not particularly a fan of so many carbs, but to me the polite thing to do is order similarly to the rest of the group, so that's what I did.

Until the time I looked up the table and saw a couple of the men with garlic prawns for starters and the steak for his main. When the meal was due to be split, one of them who is a decent bloke, offered to put in an extra fiver ( although it was at least £10-15 more than the dough balls and pasta, but the organiser told him not to be silly and we would split like normal. Since then I have been reluctant to meet that group for a meal unless it's a fixed menu or we are sharing dishes.

It would be interesting to try a couple of experiments. If it's Wetherspoons arrive early and order your own meals, see if he still wants the mixed grill if he is paying for it himself. Or both you and your DH ( sorry can't remember if you said you had one) also order the mixed grill every single time and see how the group enjoys the increased bill.

No
It's less than £10

Ive never been to a Wetherspoons or Harvester but a quick Google of a wetherspoon menu shows a mixed grill is £10.50 and a large mixed grill is £12. Hardly breaking the bank really.

The mixed grill is £12 more than most other mains? Really??

People should order what they want but they should pay extra for it so they're not taking the piss!

I pay my own food.
9/10 times I will pay way too much splitting. No, thank you.

Then use your voice and tell him to! Cf!

Just say "are we all ordering from set menu and splitting or getting different and paying for our own?"

It's sets your boundaries out and doesn't allow others to take the piss or you to feel taken advantage of.

My friend and I always split but we pretty much get the same price wise.

When we go out as a family we have 2 adult meals, my brother and his gf t the same, my dad is 1 meal and my sister an adult and child's meal. My dad, brother and his gf get alcohol, me my sis and my ds get unlimited soft drinks refill and my nephew drinks water! So we pay our own.

I also disagree with the mindset of “oh it’s only an extra £2, get over it and pay for it.” If this was a one off- fine. But it’s the same person every time! It’s rude of him. He is absolutely allowed to choose whatever he wants, but he should acknowledge it and throw in some extra money.

My friends and I always just pay for our own food when we go out, it’s fairer that way and everyone is happy. But this does remind me of a time years ago when I was in my early 20s and starting out in my career and money wasn’t too free flowing. I went out for a set menu meal, something like two courses for £15, there were five of us there and we all got the deal. So at the end of meal, someone just casually said “split this five ways?” when we got the bill. But what she hadn’t considered was the drinks. And Christ I probably sound so petty saying this now, but I’d had a tap water and the four other girls had a coke, charged at £4 each (extortionate!!) And one girl had two cokes. So if we’d split it evenly it would’ve basically meant I paid for one of her cokes. And as daft as it sounds over £4, I really didn’t want to. I just didn’t see why this was fair. This way (excluding tip) we all would’ve paid £19. But I just had the meal, three girls has meal plus coke, one girl had meal plus two cokes. So I casually spoke up and said “am I alright to just pay my £15 as I didn’t get a drink,” and two coke girl then said “Oo yes and I had two cokes, so Lou you pay £15, you three £19 and mine is £23.” So all was well that ended well, but at the time I remember being glad I spoke up. I am fully away now some people may jump on this and question why I remember this non event from 15 years ago in such detail, or why I was so bothered over a measly £4, but the principle of it just didn’t sit right with me, and I was skint at the time. Now, I wouldn’t quibble over this, but in the same breath, we all just pay for our own now so wouldn’t be in this position anymore anyway!

I'm also going to go out on a limb and suggest that if your family are very much against paying separate bills... they don't care that he's ordering the mixed grill and it's just you that has the issue (and it's because you don't like the man)

Unwritten rules are actually just assumptions and vary from person to person. That said, if it's always the same person being subsidised for "a few quid" then that's going to piss people off. Months and years of everyone paying an extra two quid a time to subsidise uncle twat's dinner is eventually going to become annoying.

The whole point of going to a restaurant with a menu is that you can order what you want…i can’t image deliberately choosing something I didn’t want in case what I did want offended someone. Obviously if I’d ordered the lobster to start, followed by turbot and washed it down with champagne I’d offer to pay more. But generally the range between the cheapest and most expensive dishes is no more than £10/£15. So I’d find it odd if someone judged me for that. Sometimes I’ll just order a light vegetarian dish if I’m not hungry, and I don’t expect to pay less or be thanked for doing so. But, the important thing is to only agree to split the bill with people you know well, eat with fairly often and who have a similar outlook on life!

This ^

Agreeing to share the bill equally is unfair when you have diners with different financial circumstances.

What's even worse is to announce that the bill will be shared equally only after the meal is finished. The head teacher sounds a right berk.