If you're sharing the cost of the meal there's certain things you don't go for

I’d order what I wanted but if I knew it was a more expensive meal I’d chip in extra or cover most of the tip

If others were drinking lots I’d just chip in what I’d spent plus a margin for tip though as as a virtually non drinker it’s amazing how much of a bill ends up as booze

Splitting the bill equally when the people involved have different financial circumstances has never made any sense to be. I've been both the person trying to find the cheapest things on the menu, and the person who can afford what they want, and it's felt wrong, either way.

I remember going to a work meal at a restaurant, and sitting with my TA who I knew couldn't really afford to come at all, but who had been persuaded to. She had nursed an orange juice and bowl of pasta all night, while others had had three courses, cocktails and multiple drinks. At the end, the HT gaily announced that we'd just split the bill equally. I was horrified. I spoke up but was ignored. It was in the days of cash being handed over, so I told my TA to just put in what she'd spent, and I'd sort it out later. I'm afraid I lied about where the money came from for the rest.

So then stop sharing the bill.

Or order what you want. If he always does it the whole ‘he orders last’ but doesn’t make sense. If he always doesn’t him ordering last doesn’t matter.

When you split the bill someone is always going to come out worse. Expecting everyone to only order certain priced items because you want them to, then moaning about it and going out and repeating it again and again is bizarre to me.

Do you all sit there looking at the price of what other people order then pick based on cost? Going first must be a pain.

This. I’m fortunate to eat out twice a week with groups of friends and we always pay for what we order. No arguments or bad feelings.

I’d just announce at the start that you’re paying for what you have, not subbing others. Have you spoken to your sister if it’s her Dh? Or your Dh if it’s his db? I think it’s cf behaviour if you know the bill will be evenly split.

If someone orders something a lot more expensive or more alcohol than others than it’s usually adjusted as it can add up, a couple of quid here and there then no…

If he's going for a meal he should be able to pick what he wants. Maybe the rest of you should do the same.

I don’t share the bill if I can avoid it but if I have to I will order steak or mixed grill if I fancy it because I don’t drink and only have one course (occasionally share a dessert with someone) so I think the cost evens out.

We always pay for our own meals at a restaurant. I usually go for the steak because we never eat it at home and it's a treat.

I'll never understand why people just don't request separate bills instead of getting into these situations.

I would order what I want. If I'm going out to eat and really want a steak, I'm not going to have the chicken just because of splitting the bill. However if what I order is more expensive I would always put more money towards the bill.

People should order what they want! I often order a steak in a restaurant as it’s one of my favourites. Why should I order something I don’t like as much because someone else wants a cheaper dish?

How is it greedy? It might not be more food just better quality/ more expensive ingredients?

Plus do you know what he’s eaten for the rest of the day- maybe he’s skipped lunch.

Nothing more joyless than going for a meal but feeling you can’t eat what you’d really like because someone else disapproves. I never cook steak or mixed grills at home so I do order them when out over something like pasta/ burgers etc which I can cook myself.

Sounds like you just don’t like your BIL to me. Would you feel the same if your mum/ dad/ sister ordered it. Personally I’d be happy they were enjoying the evening.

If it really is about money then don’t go.

Where do you go where they have a mixed grill on the menu? Is it a 1970s/80s themed restaurant?

I don't quibble over costs with friends and neither do they. There's often a time where someone might buy the bottle of wine in a bar before dinner etc. as long as it's not always the same person ducking out of paying or consistently ordering the most expensive thing it always works out in the end.

A sharer for 2 is for 2, a steak is for 1. When we go out, over half the group order steak as its what we like. Why wouldn't we order it?

Just don't split the bill equally and pay for what you eat/drink. It doesn't make much difference if you're all paying anyway. Everyone should be allowed to eat what they want but should pay for it. I'd rather do it this way anyway rather than worrying I'm making a social faux pas by having what I choose to eat instead of what I feel I ought to eat.

If you’re sharing an occasion by having a meal, I think that everyone should order what they would like to eat and drink, but the bill should be split on that basis.

I don’t want to share the cost of several bottles of wine when I don’t drink and I don’t want to chip in for three courses, if I’ve only had one. But if I order lobster, I should pay for that.

It’s inconsiderate to simply split the bill when it’s clear there’s a big discrepancy in the costs.

Me personally, I’d be saying “I had the filet steak so I’ll pay some extra”.

My SIL would be ordering a cocktail aperitif, 3 of the most expensive courses, and several glasses if not a bottle of nice wine, then sit back and do her best to contribute last (if we all pay by card) so that the extra people have put in for a tip comes off her portion of the bill.

Hence why I refuse to eat out if she’s present, the greedy fuck.