Bouncer snapped my sons ID

If your son is old enough to go to a club why is he old enough not to sort it himself?

I could have put my house on a bet that this would have been the first answer.

The lad is young and hasnt got much life expierence yet. Mum asks for advice and gets shot down straight away.

OPs answer to you was spot on. My lad at 18 was quite meek and quiet and hated confrontation. He would have tried to avoid dealing with it.At 24 he doesn't put up shit.

One 18 year old lad against a group of bouncers and a club manager?

And you still believe that your son was behaving impeccably beforehand?

Yes this is a difference in 'my child has asked me for help on this situation what do we do' and 'this situation has happened I am the parent so I am taking over and controlling this'

God I feel for the sons of mumsnetters imagine if this had happened to an 18 year old DD, posters would be out for blood!

I would contact the club and tell them to cover the costs of a replacement and make a complaint to the SIA as you have his details.

Mum has life experience. Nobody helped me on these small things when I was 18 and honestly that was a disadvantage looking back, so I get involved, am told I am coddling, idc because my teens and early twenties dc, then see how to handle similar next time. Instructing what to say is fine, yoou don’t necessarily need to get involved yourself. Teens let things go, these bouncers know that, they get dismissed.

I don’t know why people are being so unkind. Just because OP’s son is 18, doesn’t mean he has to know how to handle every situation and do so on his own. I’d also guarantee that any club manager or security guard is going to be dismissive of him based on his age.(And it doesn’t actually matter if your DS was ‘behaving’ - no one should be breaking his ID!)

It’s only £20 to replace which we make me feel inclined to just replace and not deal with the aggro of complaining. However, the amount of arsehole, power-trip, creepy security guards I have met in my time would probably lead me to reporting…

But you let him try it himself first. You did not automatically try to fix his problem for him as though he were still a little child.

Got to love parents who completely cut any help or advice to their children as soon as they hit 18. Did you kick your kids out of the house at 18 as well as a learning experience.

The op was just asking for advice.

If people need it clarifying this ^ means in response to "Do I report as reckless criminal damage or contact the club to cover the cost of replacing?"

No, you don't your son should. You can encourage, advise and help him every step of the way (most likely will need to as he's 18) but he needs to do it himself.

Unprovoked? So DS showed his ID and bouncer just decided to snap it for the sake of it? Hmmmmm

Maybe as ex bouncer you are not the most objective on this tho.

She means massive overreaction, i question the intelligence of anyone who thinks that firstly this is worthy of police time and secondly that they will do anything. I have bent cards on the door to check the print and holograms but never snapped one. It’s happened get new ID don’t waste any energy and move on. I am assuming that the ID replacement costs is only a few quid. Like others have said if your son is not old enough to deal with this then he is not old enough to go to a club and as for contacting you int the middle of the night to tell you this I think you need to have a few words with him

Why did your son need to tell you about this at 4am? It’s hardly the crime of the century, and in all honesty I bet there’s more to this story.

If he wants to complain let him but I honestly wouldn’t get involved or give it much more thought, I don’t think it’s a huge big deal, if your son and his friends are going to start going to clubs they need to be able to deal with this kind of stuff themselves.

Well if the club is willing to cover the cost of a new ID the it should make it right. If they get awkward about that then I would complain.

How much does a new ID cost? If £25 or less I’d just leave it and chalk up as one of those unfortunate things in life.

Did the bouncer think his ID was fake? or did he just take against your son for some reason?

I'd still support your son to make the complaint himself.

Be aware that bouncers can remember faces and hold grudges.

I turned down a bouncer who propositioned me and groped me, and when he was on the door of another venue he refused to let me in despite me having ID etc.

In all human cultures it is pretty standard for family members to help each other out. This practice stretches back for millennia, just the problems change.

Families are pretty great, it's nice to have family support.

I was also a female bouncer for 4 years, and I’ve seen, and continue to see, all sorts of aggressive behaviour from male bouncers showing off. Virtually every time I worked. Virtually every time I go out.

Meh, shit happens.
Can he not just order another and crack on?
Not exactly crime of the century.
Unfortunately there are arseholes out there, they are everywhere … that’s life.

Definitely report to the police as reckless criminal damage. Call 999 now, because the police are sitting around waiting for your call.

Agreed. Also, given you weren’t there, isn’t it a bit off for you to go steamrollering in with only one side of the story?

Do you not help adults who need help?
Is Mumsnet only for under 18s in need of guidance until the day they turn 18 and suddenly know what to do in every situation?

What do you mean by “Reckless criminal damage”? What exactly happened?

this

My son dropped his keys in a club.Once he was home,a friend messaged him she had handed them in at the bar.
Next day I sent him down to get them,he came back upset the manager would not even look,very rudely dismissed him.
I went down and he was not rude but said no keys handed in.I said ok I will get police to collect CCTV as someone working here has kept our house keys.
He immediately got up and collected them from a box in his office.
Sometimes mums do have to help and nothing wrong with that!