Bouncer snapped my sons ID

Just googled and if it’s a proof of age card it looks about £15 to replace.

I’d help my son compose an email from him to the club asking for reimbursement.

But if they didn’t reply or refuse just move on from it.

*The lad is young and hasnt got much life expierence yet. Mum asks for advice and gets shot down straight away.

The mum asked what should she do not what should he do?

He should be trying to sort it out, she should give him suggestions. Otherwise he won't learn

To be fair, I probably would have worded it the same as op and said ' right lad, I've been on mn and what you have to do is.....'

However there are times when I have taken over a task to make life a bit easier for my sons, eg when my son works away from home I'll go and do his washing or hoovering. ( not all the time if course, he's a grown man, he normally does it himself) However they do the same for me. It's a two way street.
Ds1 sorted out a car issue where I wouldn't know what to do last Tuesday .Ds2 came round and fixed my fence that was blown out without me asking a couple of weekends ago.
Not every thing has to be an Immediate life lesson. I like to live in a family where we just help, support and make life that little bit easier for each other.

Your son rang you in the middle of the night to tell you this?

Support your ds to deal with it, don't just take over or he will never learn. Although to me this is a simple email to the club owner and sorting out a replacement ID.

Just forget about it and order a new ID

@notacooldad

The lad is young and hasnt got much life expierence yet. Mum asks for advice and gets shot down straight away.

The mum asked what should she do not what should he do?

He should be trying to sort it out, she should give him suggestions. Otherwise he won't learn.

I would tell DS what to do, how to do it and to let me know if he has any issues and see if I need to step in or not. I wouldn’t be dealing with it all for him.

I'd want to know a bit more about what happened.

If your son was perhaps a bit drunk and not behaving particularly well, I'd leave it.

If your son was an innocent victim and the bouncer was acting like an idiot, I'd suggest your son emails a complaint.

How much does the ID cost to replace? More than £10 and he should ask for reimbursement from the club.

The circumstances, your son's actions, the bouncer's actions, whether anyone was openly aggressive etc all influence the response.

As he is 18 I'd listen and guide him in what to do but I'd let him do it himself.

They bend it to check it’s real. My DD 18 says they do it all the time, and one of her friends had his ID broken by a bouncer who bent it too hard. She also says fake ID is pretty common.

Those saying the DS should sort it out himself, did you really become all-knowing and able to deal with all situations at the age of 18, and never accept help nor give help ever again? No, I thought not.

Complain to the club OP.

Why didn't his friend keep his keys to return to him rather than handing them in?

OP what ID was it? And what's the cost of replacement? Get your son to contact the club and enquire about them covering the cost of replacement.

No idea what they will do though, could say no amd deny it, could say yes

gtfI do think there may be more to the story than told. It seems very odd that the son and his mates walked up to the door, the doorman took the son's ID and just snapped it "because he was new".

That aside though, the son needs to just email the club, giving the details and asking them to refund the cost of a replacement. If it happened as outlined, they will apologise for the mistake and pay for a replacement. If they, or the doorman disagrees with how it happened or try to deny it even happened, they can check the CCTV.

Yeah, I wouldn't be sending my 18year old to challenge a bouncer or get involved with club management.

A friend tried to make a complaint once at Rock City and the bouncers dragged him down the the cellar and beat the shit out of him. He now has metal plates in his head jaw and collar bone.

He was so frightened by the experience (understandably) that he refused to make a statement or pursue legal action.

Jeez. Some people. I'll still be helping my children when they're 50 if they ask for it. Just as I would any other adult. I have years more experience and I am less likely to take any crap than they are so I have no problem helping if they want me to.

I agree with this

My DS once called me for advice on the best cleaning products to buy for when he was moving out of his Uni accommodation.
Should I just have refused to tell him on account of him being old enough to deal with it himself?
(notwithstanding it probably hadn’t been cleaned for a year … 😐)

Jeez do our kids immediately learn a lifetime of experience the second they turn 18?
I would use this as a learning opportunity for him and help guide him to get the appropriate response.
Those of you saying parents shouldn’t help I bet you don’t have adult DC.

The other bouncers apologised and explained the guy was inexperienced - which is exactly the same line you’re using for why you’d need to make a complaint on behalf of your son. I would guess your son and his friends weren’t behaving like perfect little angels for this incident to have even arisen.

Chalk this one up as a learning experience, show him how to order a replacement, and move on.

18 could mean a teenager still at school, an independent adult with a job, or a university student getting to grips with independent life for the first time. They vary a lot.

I'm laughing at the idea that an 18 year old is "old enough to handle these things himself". He's literally just entered adulthood from childhood, these things aren't automatic, they require learning and life experience. My daughter has just turned 18 and she calls me for help with all manner of things, which is totally to be expected as she's just learning about being an adult. They're 18, not 38

It’s a perfect opportunity to coach him in what he needs to do but allow him to learn to deal with this kind of situation, nobody said to cut off advice but there’s a line to be drawn in encouraging him to actually deal with it.

He's old enough to handle this himself I think. He can complain to the club and order himself a new ID. But how sure are you that it was unprovoked? Unprofessional, of course, but bouncers don't make a habit of snapping ID. More than likely your DS was drunk and being a nuisance.

Do not make a complaint and definitely do not report for criminal damage. Just order new ID and move on.

Shit happens on nights out at clubs, the bouncers are a bit arsey and that’s part of the clubbing experience that your son will need to learn about.

Just order him a new one and move on. Do not go all helicopter mum making complaints etc. It’s frankly embarrassing behaviour that will see him refused entry to the club in the future.