To think MIL should know DH is in hospital having serious tests, even though she's on holiday

It’s not. But more and more these days on MN, if the discussion is running out of steam, some posters rake over OP’s posts in an effort to catch them out or cast doubt on the truth of the situation - usually out of frustration at not being given all the gory details. There have been a few recent posts seemingly in that vein. My prediction is for a pile on if OP doesn’t oblige. I think some of the comments have been disgusting - completely overlooking the fact that the situation not only concerns MiL, but could potentially end with OP losing her DH and their children losing their dad.

If the situation wasn’t so serious it would almost be amusing that some posters who are lecturing OP on the ills of disclosing private medical information to MiL are also clamouring to know the nature of the potential diagnosis and testing.

OP, this sounds like a super stressful time for you and for your husband. I hope you got the tests you needed today and you get the results tomorrow. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm sorry so many people on this thread have been behaving so crassly.

Will your DH let you tell his mum once he has the results tomorrow?

I would tell my DH that his mother HAS to know and that he absolutely must tell her. I would give him a time by which to do so and then, I would tell her myself if he had not already done so. She absolutely must be told.

All the best, OP.

We don't need to know what he's being tested for, it's private medical information. OP doesn't need us doing a guessing game or feeling pressured to say.

It's very traumatic awaiting results that may have a catastrophic impact on the whole family.

I'm praying that you come back saying he's all clear or it's something treatable.

I don’t understand why the test is relevant, the op has stated it’s serious and potentially life threatening, that’s all anyone needs to know , I hope everything works out well for you op 🙏🏼

I’ve put up a few suggestions - probably far off the mark - because the thread seems to have taken an odd turn with some posters seemingly questioning the seriousness of the situation/validity of the testing. I agree that the details you’ve given so far could possibly be outing on their own, so I wouldn’t really want to be specific about the testing and possible diagnosis either. Please keep us posted - I think the majority of posters are rooting for you and your DH, and are hoping and praying for the best possible outcome.

This!

I think they’d identify you anyway to be honest.

But anyway, here’s hoping for the non-shit result.

It doesnt say he doesn't want her there, it says he doesn't want to spoil her holiday and those are 2 very different things.

OP i understand why your husband is saying it, but I'd try and chat again with him. I personally believe she should be aware and for her then to make the choice. If, God forbid, anything happens to your husband how will you feel, she feel?

Also having her here , if that's what she chooses, will help you and your family x x

Sorry your husband, and you and your family are going through this x x x

How could you possibly be helping? ‘We rule things out’ (!!!) Even ‘Dr House’ would need to do testing. Gracious of you to give permission to the OP not to tell you.

OP: notebook and pen to write stuff down or get dr or nurse to do so. Long phone charger. A stand to put a phone on so your husband doesn’t have to hold it when watching stuff on the table tray over the bed. Plug in headphones/earphones (the wireless ones sometimes interfere with the machines). Sliders. Earplugs. You probably have been in hospital long enough to know all these but it’s a list I have to hand.

i think the test does matter to give advice

if dh is having a test this significant AND the result of which could result in a quick decline/death, in most cases he wouldn’t still be waiting for said test after 5 days

test would be an emergency

most tests - even biopsy don’t give definite diagnosis on their own

so whilst the test sounds horrendous, it doesn’t tie with the urgency in his mum not being able to wait a few days

I hope he's OK, OP.

Just trying to help. And it's hard to really advise re AIBU without any info. But she's said no that's fine.
We often advise families whether we feel family should be called in, brought over from abroad etc. Tests aren't really very outing. But I've left the thread now.

And why is it that you need to know this?

That said, I have realised that DH is downplaying the situation to people who are contacting him, which isn't bloody helpful.

To the point that people won't offer to have your kids so that you at least can visit him?

Ok up to you. We rule things out all the time, just trying to help. Good luck to your dh.

Oh for god’s sake can we not carp more at OP? Its serious.

Potentially serious diagnoses to be ruled out she said

OP has already said how serious it is.

We usually can test for aneurysms fairly quickly with CT Angio etc
Could be an LP to rule out SAH maybe

OP doesn't want to say so hard to know how serious it is.

I don't think it's outing we only have a certain barrage of tests at our disposal so must are fairly common. Is he sick?

I thought it may be some sort of tumour previously undiagnosed as I have first hand experience of my DH with a lung tumour - there were no symptoms until he collapsed and he died two days later. But now I’m thinking like a few other posters, that it may be some sort of aneurysm, which is an emergency situation and prone to rapid deterioration.