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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this isn't nice?

35 replies

KungFuCheetah · 14/09/2024 14:43

To not go and visit a sibling and their partners new flat as soon as they move in as you say you are finding it difficult not having your own place yet?
They said they will go to visit in a few weeks or so..

OP posts:
Bunnyhair · 14/09/2024 15:03

My absolute pet peeve (and an indication that someone is immature and self-centred and not someone I want in my life) is when they demand everyone around them drop everything to come and celebrate their good fortune with them, and become sulky and stroppy and indignant with anyone who doesn’t immediately comply.

Can’t you just enjoy your new flat?

CraftyNavySeal · 14/09/2024 14:57

Anyonefortennistoday · 14/09/2024 14:52

I wouldn't expect an immediate visit from any one. I'd much rather wait until I'd settled in before visitors came.

Having said that I've never been particularly close to my family so this situation wouldn't even arise. But i know in some families continually visiting each other's homes is the norm.

I do think the reason given is a little strange. I know not having your own place is quite a big thing but by extension does that mean they are uncomfortable visiting anyone in their homes because it's triggering?

Edited

They said they would visit in a few weeks though, presumably once the “new home” excitement has worn off a bit.

They are close enough to tell you their feelings which they might know are unreasonable but sometimes you can’t help the way you feel. I would say no bother come around for dinner in a few weeks then.

Anyonefortennistoday · 14/09/2024 14:52

I wouldn't expect an immediate visit from any one. I'd much rather wait until I'd settled in before visitors came.

Having said that I've never been particularly close to my family so this situation wouldn't even arise. But i know in some families continually visiting each other's homes is the norm.

I do think the reason given is a little strange. I know not having your own place is quite a big thing but by extension does that mean they are uncomfortable visiting anyone in their homes because it's triggering?

Timeforabiscuit · 14/09/2024 14:50

If you were actually well intentioned about the invite (rather than engaging in oneupmanship) you wouldn't have batted an eye at a polite postponement and got on with unpacking!

mushypaperstraws · 14/09/2024 14:49

I think it's insensitive of the person who is expecting people to visit that they're not considering how it feels for the sibling who is struggling at the moment

BobbyBiscuits · 14/09/2024 14:49

I guess they are being honest. Most people would just say they were busy.
It seems a bit off but don't worry about it. Let them visit when they're ready.
I was in hospital for 5 weeks and one woman I know would drop my mum to visit me each day and wait in the car. She couldn't handle coming up to the ward. I found it a bit hurtful but mum said she got triggered by hospitals due to family.
People do have their foibles. Don't let it spoil your enjoyment of your lovely new home.

Raquelos · 14/09/2024 14:47

Not something I could get that worked up about tbh, life is too short. I wouldn't really want to pressure someone into coming over who was going to feel crappy as a result. Just enjoy your new place and once your sibling has sorted their own place out enjoy theirs as well.

NerrSnerr · 14/09/2024 14:47

A few weeks is fine. Will give you time to settle in.

Saying that, I moved out of home 25 years ago and have lived in loads of houses and I don't think my sibling has ever visited any of them.

DoreenonTill8 · 14/09/2024 14:46

I'd be annoyed if 'as soon as I'd moved in' people were demanding to visit!
Are you wanting to see them or show off?

Sirzy · 14/09/2024 14:45

I think the not nice would be to discount their feelings. They haven’t said they will never visit.

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