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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is anyone wrong here?

27 replies

autienotnaughty · 14/09/2024 08:37

Going to a bbq today . I have two adult dc (18 and 22) and a younger dc (7)

Asked adult dc to babysit and to take dc to a bday party 45 min away.They agreed. Party is 1-3.

Then dd18 was invited out. She would still be ok to take dc to party but leave after. She checked with her sister who agreed all fine. So dd22 will be solo babysitting from about 4pm.

Dd22 has just asked when we will be back from bbq. I said maybe 7ish (bbq is about 40 min away) she is annoyed as she assumed we would be back at Same time as her (around 4) she has no plans that evening.

I've said obviously if she wants us to leave early we will but if we leave at just after 3 bbq probably won't be served so it feels a bit rude.

She feels tricked as we hadn't said when we would be back when we asked them to babysit. I assumed it would be flexible. I know dd18 wouldn't have cared (she babysits more than her sister)

Is anyone wrong or is it miscommunication?

OP posts:
SpagBolBowl · 14/09/2024 08:40

autienotnaughty · 14/09/2024 08:37

Going to a bbq today . I have two adult dc (18 and 22) and a younger dc (7)

Asked adult dc to babysit and to take dc to a bday party 45 min away.They agreed. Party is 1-3.

Then dd18 was invited out. She would still be ok to take dc to party but leave after. She checked with her sister who agreed all fine. So dd22 will be solo babysitting from about 4pm.

Dd22 has just asked when we will be back from bbq. I said maybe 7ish (bbq is about 40 min away) she is annoyed as she assumed we would be back at Same time as her (around 4) she has no plans that evening.

I've said obviously if she wants us to leave early we will but if we leave at just after 3 bbq probably won't be served so it feels a bit rude.

She feels tricked as we hadn't said when we would be back when we asked them to babysit. I assumed it would be flexible. I know dd18 wouldn't have cared (she babysits more than her sister)

Is anyone wrong or is it miscommunication?

Maybe DD 22 could skip the birthday party part and just babysit from 4pm? Then it's more or less the same time for each. Presumably both don't need to do both. Just sounds like a misscommunication.

BeMintBee · 14/09/2024 08:39

Yes you should have been clear about what time you were going to be home and exactly who was babysitting when and until what time. Why would you assume other people’s time is “flexible”

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