Mum with dementia in hospital I need practical help

Pairing socks is often enjoyed.
Did your mum work? I know one lady who previously worked in admin who had several files that had papers paper and dividers in and she used to be very content organising her files.

For my nan I used to "accidentally" take all of the tissues out of her box and she'd happily fold each one up and put them in a neat pile on her table.

If you look on Amazon you'll find activity kits and fidget type "toys" or blankets that are specifically made for people with dementia. It might be a good distraction for her mind.

Sorting crayon colours, buttons into different piles. I have seen articles about occupying children with similar ideas so you could search for them. I think they see it as a useful sort of housekeeping task so it links to their life before dementia; they have a purpose.

She's in the right place and as pusskins says any future care home placements will be paid for without any financial assessment. Don't worry if she's there for a while - can be several months. Most local authorities have a flat rate they pay towards care home placements, which will just about cover the cost. We used DFIL money to top up so we could move him to a care home nearer to us and DSIL.

The local authority will probably require a EMI registered care home and they can be tricky to find. You don't have to accept they one they suggest, but it will be up to you to find an alternative.

I'm so sorry you and your DM are in the position - dementia is an absolutely shitty disease. Please make contact with the Alzheimer's society for some support. We also found the Aged UK website and invaluable source of information of the financial side of things

No need to do this The hospital will refer mum to social services when mum is nearing discharge She will have a care act assesment to identify care needs and I'm guessing an appropriate residential home will be found If mum goes onto a Section 3 her placement will be paid for ( Look up 117 aftercare funding ) this does not apply to a section 2

I wouldn’t write a letter. My dh had dementia and although he could read he couldn’t understand what it was he was reading. Just visit her and be there for her even if she doesn’t remember you. Take care of yourself too. It’s a hard journey.

Another who recommends the Alz Society's website forum - the Talking Point section is a fantastic source of knowledge, info and support.

i am sorry you are going through this. Alzheimer’s society has a forum, highly recommend it. There will always be someone who has been through it before,

My mum loved a giant teddy bear I bought for her when she had to move into a care home. I tied a label round his neck saying "Notquite will visit you very soon. Until then, please cuddle me. I love you" The nurses said that it gave her a lot of comfort.

Seconding the advice to take jewellery, hearing aids and glasses home before they are lost."

Have you got POA?

Contact adult social services as she won’t be able to stay in hospital for ever and they need to find a care home I guess?

Might be of help later dunno about while in hospital but a lot of dementia patients love having a doll they think it's a real baby and they take care of it , also stops them getting upset , I wonder would she assume that's why she is in hospital ?

https://www.dementiauk.org/information-and-support/living-with-dementia/doll-therapy/

Can she still read?

If so, try a postcard with explanation as above. Letter too long for goldfish bowl memory.

Be prepared for DM to get worse. Hospitals are very bad news for dementia patients.

family and pet photos are good too, and talking points for staff, where she was born, jobs, parents/sibling/children/grandchildrens names and jobs, significant events like if they live abroad or know someone famous. These can sometimes help as distractions for staff if they can say "ohh betty, hows your john getting on as a dr?" etc

Any squash or drinks she enjoys, take a few bottle each time you go to encourage her to drink as dementia patients often have a reduced fluid intake. Snacks too. Alot of activities can depend on patients, but particularly female patients, there are crocheted dolls with outfits you can get they can dress and undress, fiddle mitts too if you can source them. Clothing washed in her regular washing powders, and proper clothing not just pyjamas/nighties. Pyjama paralysis is a known phenomena, getting dressed every day is important and can help with routines. My elderly relative with dementia loved to doodle, so we always took notebooks and pens for her.

I know there's a risk of glasses, hearing aids etc getting lost in a hospital but people that are left without these tools are at a massive risk of getting delirium on top of dementia which really will make their situation so much worse.

What sort of ward is she on and why was she sectioned?

Her own clothes will be helpful as well as something to distract her. Familiar magazines, something she can have in her hands. Colouring books if she is still able etc. Family pictures. A document for the nursing staff giving information about your mum (her likes and dislikes, previous job, family etc.).

I'm a nurse in an acute admissions unit and often look after people who are medically unwell with delirium or dementia on top. Keeping these patients distracted when they have nothing with them is our biggest challenge.

The staff will be experienced in supporting your mum and reassuring her why she’s there.
Familiar things for her - pictures/ photo albums, cd player with some favourite music will be nice for her.
If you’re able to do her laundry regularly that will save it from disappearing to the hospital laundry for weeks and possibly not returning. Keep her well stocked with her favourite smellies, snacks etc
Ask if they have a Read About Me form that you can complete to help staff get to know your mum.
This must be a very difficult time, I’m sorry for what you’re both going through

I wish I’d known about twiddle muffs when my poor mother had dementia! I found out too late to help her.

IMO this is a v good suggestion.

My mums last 2 years were in a bedin a care home getting progressively more unresponsive. I used to drive 3 hours each way to see her, sit by her side and come home having had little response. I started to play her, what I remembered she used to listen to, so Salvation Army bands playing carols, Daniel O Donnell, and the two singers that Vic and Bob used to mock, whose names I can never remember. It sometimes got a response, and sometimes didn't. My thoughts are with you. It's a horrible time watching your love ones fade away. Good luck xx